Associate
Yeah, start with that, then it can only get better.
Best man speech jokes. Help GD!
- Thread starter Andybtsn
- Start date
Yeah, start with that, then it can only get better.
Caporegime
*with a serious face* As a protective brother that loves his sister very much, I didn't think anyone was good enough for Jane. But then she announced that she was marrying John, my best friend in the world, and I realised that 'not good enough' could be so much worse than I'd feared.
Soldato
Play the sexism card... it never fails.
"Why do women get married in white ?"
"Why do women get married in white ?"
"It's the usual colour for domestic appliances"
I like that one
Some are just copies from the internet, I don't want to go down that route despite me copying and pasting from GD
Man of Honour
Get a wedding cake in the shape of a letterbox then poo in it.
Caporegime
'There are many reasons to celebrate this happy union, but personally I see it as a testament to the skill and professionalism of my sister's gender reassignment surgeon.'
Man of Honour
Not a joke as such, but last thing you do.... 'going to toast someone who has done a amazing job today, blah blah' .....'if you could all stand and raise your glasses' 'THE BEST MAN' ....done this twice gets a good laugh for end of speech
Soldato
Here's some inspiration for the OP. Hope it helps. 
Soldato
I like that one
Some are just copies from the internet, I don't want to go down that route despite me copying and pasting from GD
That's why it's best to just talk about him and his silly quirks.
Associate
If you've got plenty of clean stories about the groom just use those.
Try and weave them into a larger story, maybe write the speech as a school report card. You as the all wise teacher grading him on various criteria.
I've done 2 best man speeches without any specific "jokes" and they've gone down great.
Only advice is keep it really clean. The smut is fine for the stag do and the corny jokes for.. well... the father of the bride in my experience
If nothing else just make it heartfelt
Try and weave them into a larger story, maybe write the speech as a school report card. You as the all wise teacher grading him on various criteria.
I've done 2 best man speeches without any specific "jokes" and they've gone down great.
Only advice is keep it really clean. The smut is fine for the stag do and the corny jokes for.. well... the father of the bride in my experience
If nothing else just make it heartfelt
Well this is my third time as a best man and I've never asked for help with the other two, I felt I had plenty of ammunition for jokes given the situation. I thought you guys would excel here...
I would help if I could but all that comes to mind is your typical GD fodder.
"He's been my best friend for a long time and we've always had a very special relationship, but this marks the end of an era for us, as now it'll seem too much like incest."
Caporegime
When John first told me he'd hooked up with my sister, I'll admit that I initially felt pretty angry. However these feelings were quickly replaced with murderous rage.
I considered exacting my revenge on John by asking his mother out, but then I realised that was a silly notion. She's already rejected me fifteen times.
I considered exacting my revenge on John by asking his mother out, but then I realised that was a silly notion. She's already rejected me fifteen times.
Like it!
Soldato
Caporegime
Just don't come out with the usual crap of;
'I was told the best mans speech should last as long as the groom can make love, so thanks for your time'
Be original.
'I was told the best mans speech should last as long as the groom can make love, so thanks for your time'
Be original.
Soldato