Well in BC2 to get it working on two PCs I used -port 10001 as a parameter on just one of the PCs (I think the default is 10000), worked fine from then on.
I would imagine that it's the same BF3, I didn't get this issue but give it a try.
I had awful problems with my router and BFBC2 - there was a built in firewall on the router that had to be turned off completely before I could ever see any servers.
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