Dear video game developers and members of the digital video game community,
Me and my husband Montgomery, are writing to plea with you to cancel this violent game called Bioshock. Or young son, little Billy, has began having severe aggression problems at school. He screams, swears and accuses other students of being "Splicers" and attempts to freeze them, burn them, and levitate them using his mind. We and his teachers are very concerned about his well being, as he pretends that the school is a place called "Rapture". He also seems to think its funny to call his elderly teacher a "newb" and yell profanity and make rude remarks, that are somehow rooted in video game violence. All of this evidence leads us, the society of outraged mothers, to conclude that video games are behind many of the worlds worst problems, including; school violence, rising drug use, nuclear war, violence in the middle east, gay people, freedom of speech, murder, truancy, social unrest and apathy, incidents of unprovoked rape, falling interests in receiving higher educations, a confusing rise in the levels of stupidy in our civilization, domestic abuse, alcohol related car accidents, cancer, the AIDS epidemic, social apartheid, racism, obesity, child-hood learning dis-orders, generalized gullibility, politicians abusing the susceptibility of the masses with refined persuasion, and the overall doom of most of the worlds nations, and most importantly the horrible profanity used on Xbox Live! We the outraged mothers of america, believe violent video games are the root of all the aforementioned problems, and should be blamed, and the evil video game makers should be forced to stop making these games. As we speak my precious little Billy boy is homeless, homeless and love video games. He has joined the ranks of the weak and unfortunate, and all he does in his spare time is do drugs, live in his filthy cardboard box, and play Xbox Live video games on a wide screen HD plasma TV. This is our cautionary tale and we hope society takes heed, so we the people can finally vanquish the evil that is the video game.
2K games, please respect our children and cancel your violent game before its too late for them all.
WIth the highest level of best regards,
Martha K. and Montgomery K, the hippest soccer mom, and the cool dad.
