Bizarre comments from your missus.
- Thread starter Burnsy2023
- Start date
from discussions on driving
"Isn't it amazing just how many times a day you actually have to do an emergency stop"
"who has right of way at Traffic lights"
closely followed by
"but if the light in front of me is green and I'm turning right, I can't go cos when I turn right i'm faced with a red light"
I tried for about an hour on and off to explain that this red light was the one that was stopping the other traffic. Turns out she had spent quite a lot of time turning right at traffic lights only to get half way accross the junction and stop in front of the "red light" until it went green.
"If you want to slow down quickly can you just put the car in reverse"
Fianlly, there is a nature reserve near Skegness in Lincolnshire called Gibralter point. She is adamant that it's so called cos you can see gibralter from there!!!!
"Isn't it amazing just how many times a day you actually have to do an emergency stop"
"who has right of way at Traffic lights"
closely followed by
"but if the light in front of me is green and I'm turning right, I can't go cos when I turn right i'm faced with a red light"
I tried for about an hour on and off to explain that this red light was the one that was stopping the other traffic. Turns out she had spent quite a lot of time turning right at traffic lights only to get half way accross the junction and stop in front of the "red light" until it went green.
"If you want to slow down quickly can you just put the car in reverse"
Fianlly, there is a nature reserve near Skegness in Lincolnshire called Gibralter point. She is adamant that it's so called cos you can see gibralter from there!!!!
Prescott, I can't see it..
Oh my gawd, its the Predator in a suit made from human flesh!
LOL! I will never be able to look at that giant smiley pouring out loads of mini smileys in quite the same way again.
My mother not the missus but...
Sat here reading this thread and I hear the kettle go on in the kitchen so I pipe up with
"I'll have a cup of coffee if you are making something (normal cheeky attitude
)
She shouts back..
"It's the wrong time of day for coffee"
<Stunned silence>
Sat here reading this thread and I hear the kettle go on in the kitchen so I pipe up with
"I'll have a cup of coffee if you are making something (normal cheeky attitude
)She shouts back..
"It's the wrong time of day for coffee"
<Stunned silence>
I take everything back. sorry
She must be insanely hot to be that dumb.
does she fit the scale?
Couple which happened recently:
I've just moved into my first place, unpacked a flatpack coffee table. It's lying upside down awaiting me to put the legs on it and she says:
"Turn it over"
"Why"
"So I can see how big it's going to be."
"Wait, what? The size isn't going to change...."
Another one... Drove through the drive through at McDonalds. I ordered three hamburgers, she turns to me and says:
"Why did you order a plain cheese burger?"
"I didn't I ordered a hamburger..."
"Why do they call it a hamburger, is it made from ham??"
"No....... That's why it says 100% beef on it!"
I've just moved into my first place, unpacked a flatpack coffee table. It's lying upside down awaiting me to put the legs on it and she says:
"Turn it over"
"Why"
"So I can see how big it's going to be."
"Wait, what? The size isn't going to change...."
Another one... Drove through the drive through at McDonalds. I ordered three hamburgers, she turns to me and says:
"Why did you order a plain cheese burger?"
"I didn't I ordered a hamburger..."
"Why do they call it a hamburger, is it made from ham??"
"No....... That's why it says 100% beef on it!"
Soldato
- Joined
- 31 May 2009
- Posts
- 21,474
How on earth did she pass her driving test? She managed to avoid right turns during it, or just got lucky with oncoming traffic?
I would beg to differ about this
Walney International Airport
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps/mm?ie=UTF8&hl=en&ll=54.124023,-3.240623&spn=0.04195,0.132093&t=h&z=14
Associate
- Joined
- 9 Jul 2009
- Posts
- 1,023
- Location
- Moray, Scotland
"where do jersey cows come from?"
+ 
My girlfriend sleep talks, which is actually quite scary because sometimes you can have a full conversation with her, so it is difficult to tell when shes asleep. However, often the conversations are really weird...
Once she woke up and asked me if I would look after her "cheese". So I asked her what cheese, and she held out her hands. I could see there was nothing in there, but because it was dark, I thought the cheese was very small. Of course, there was no cheese, and I got scared by this point. She then asked me to put the chese in the fridge, and pointed to the wardrobe.
She doesn't remember this at all.
Once she woke up and asked me if I would look after her "cheese". So I asked her what cheese, and she held out her hands. I could see there was nothing in there, but because it was dark, I thought the cheese was very small. Of course, there was no cheese, and I got scared by this point. She then asked me to put the chese in the fridge, and pointed to the wardrobe.
She doesn't remember this at all.