Bizarre comments from your missus.

Me: "hey whats up"
Her: "nothing, im fine"
Me: "doesnt sound like it, tell me"
Her: "I am FINE!!!"
Me: "ok then"
Little while later of her not talking
Her:"GRRR you make me so angry"
Me:"what have i done?"
Her: " you know what youve done!"

I just dont get women, they say there fine when tehre not and then they get angry at you and wont tell you why!! Hello... im not psychic!!
 
haha my good woman comes out with some corkers.

Most recently:

"Whats this program called CLOSE and why is it on every night so late on more than one channel"

me- "Ah its quality I can't beleive you havent seen it yet!"

que her trying for 10 mins to get the channel to come on and retuning the tv.

Left me in stitches.
 
Ex-wife rang me on Monday to accuse me of not paying the childs maintanance. I kindly pointed out that it was a bank holiday and the banks were closed whilst stiffling a small laugh.

"So what does that mean?"

Christ; so much for being a smart 24 year old woman
 
Aod said:
what's your operation for zootfloot?
Click to expand...

In the simplest terms i have some hemorrageing behind my eyeball and some dodgy cells, so they are going to pop my eye out and try to stop it and take some cells.

Nothing majorly serious.


Another cracker from the wife...

Have you ever noticed that there are more spiders in the summer, do they emmigrate when its winter time and come back when its mild?

I was in shock for days and it still makes me chuckle.
 
while looking at the dates i filled up my car my lass came out with

"How come you filled up on the 10th all the time"

.....

4/02/10 268.0 45.800 £1.18 26.6 Shell 117.9
3/25/10 277.0 45.039 £1.14 28.0 Shell 113.9
3/16/10 277.0 43.899 £1.14 28.7 Shell 113.9
3/08/10 264.0 47.798 £1.11 25.1 Shell 110.9
3/01/10 225.0 42.381 £1.11 24.1 Shell 110.9
2/25/10 255.0 43.680 £1.10 26.5 SHell 109.9
2/14/10 248.0 43.612 £1.09 25.9 Shell 108.9
2/08/10 259.0 46.500 £1.09 25.3 Shell 108.9
2/02/10 276.0 45.368 £1.09 27.7 Shell 108.9
1/22/10 244.0 46.341 £1.08 23.9 Shell 107.9

hmm Blonde moment....
 
StevenG said:
while looking at the dates i filled up my car my lass came out with

"How come you filled up on the 10th all the time"

.....

4/02/10 268.0 45.800 £1.18 26.6 Shell 117.9
3/25/10 277.0 45.039 £1.14 28.0 Shell 113.9
3/16/10 277.0 43.899 £1.14 28.7 Shell 113.9
3/08/10 264.0 47.798 £1.11 25.1 Shell 110.9
3/01/10 225.0 42.381 £1.11 24.1 Shell 110.9
2/25/10 255.0 43.680 £1.10 26.5 SHell 109.9
2/14/10 248.0 43.612 £1.09 25.9 Shell 108.9
2/08/10 259.0 46.500 £1.09 25.3 Shell 108.9
2/02/10 276.0 45.368 £1.09 27.7 Shell 108.9
1/22/10 244.0 46.341 £1.08 23.9 Shell 107.9

hmm Blonde moment....
Click to expand...

Wimmin :D

Reminds me of some Harry Enfield

 
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