It's correct that you have less depth of field with 104mm @ f/4, all other things being equal
But that's not really the only factor because..
At a longer focal length you will step back to get the same framing, which will increase your depth of field
At a longer focal length, the background is also enlarged so (I might be wrong about this one) you get larger circles of confusion
At a wider focal length at the same distance you will frame your subject differently which will increase the amount of background in the shot, which may have an impact on perceived bokehness.
If that is the widest aperture of each lens, you may find in practice the lens doesn't have the quality you want wide open so you may not ever actually use that aperture in the real world.
In practice the maths can be a nightmare to get your head around and it's easier to find examples and see how they compare.
Try the advanced search at
http://www.pixel-peeper.com/ and you can narrow down by focal length and aperture.
My personal experience is that when using a longer lens I tend to look for situations where there is a large distance between the subject and the background. The compression combined with the magnified background tend to really increase the apparent level of bokeh without requiring a very wide aperture - but that probably applies more to longer focal lengths than that..
When using a wider lens I am taking different kind of pictures.. although the difference between 70 and 104 is not that great relatively