This might sound stupid but have you actually switched the PS4 and controller on yet?
The reason I ask is because when the controller is switched off it looks almost identical to the previous controller. I actually found the lightbar on the trackpad to not be that visible when switched off, to the point where I too thought I had the "old" controller.
My point is that by simply "unboxing" the console and controller, it's not necessarily obvious you have the new controller, and you make no mention of having powered it on.
Lastly was the clear plastic seal intact on the PS4 box? If it was tampered with or there was celloptape etc then it was likely a return.
There should be one circular clear sticker as a seal from factory, anything else and it was resealed, and if it was resealed it's likely a customer doing the old switcheroo.