Soldato
- Joined
- 13 Jan 2004
- Posts
- 23,926
- Location
- South East
Hello,
First of all, sorry for posting a girl thread. Not sure what I am trying to achieve but sometimes it is good to get things off your chest, and as I only really have my Mum to talk to about things it is also sometimes nice to get some input from others, even if it is a bit of an OMG TO THE INTERNETS!L:!LOL moment.
Long story short, I met my girlfriend just over 2 years ago as we worked at the same place. We clicked straight away and within 3 months we were living together. Over the last 2 years we have had some fantastic times and we get on so well. She has in the last 6-12 months had a few trust issues because I have done some stupid things, not cheated on her, but things which when I think back I can see how she might have been annoyed.
The last 6-12 months have been a bit stale. I love her so much but I think I grew tired of our arguments. We didn’t argue much but we would have the odd massive argument, usually fuelled by her drinking. I actually have permanent scar on my face (albeit a feint one) from where she clawed at my face once. Anyway, that isn’t really important. Also, whilst I know she is incredibly attractive, something just wasn’t there for me, and it really really frustrated me. I don’t know what it was but I just couldn’t bring myself to show her any affection other than the hello and goodbye kisses. I still don’t know why this is.
We moved into a new flat 6 months ago and things haven’t really been any better. This next bit might seem a bit off topic but it is related. When I was 18 (I am 23 now, she is 23 also BTW) my parents moved to France, and around 10 months ago my Dad passed away. So, my Mum is moving back to England to be nearer family and she is moving back in 6 weeks. Her moving back made me think “If I was single, I could live with my Mum for a bit”. For various reasons this really appealed to me, saving a bit of money for 6-12 months, supporting my mum and my mum supporting me after losing my Dad, especially as for me her moving back has triggered a realisation in my mind as to what has happened, and I feel rubbish about it.
ANYWAY……………bored yet? If not, carry on reading!
So, 3 weeks ago I shared these thoughts with my girlfriend, and this resulted in the last 3 weeks being spent having very honest and open discussions with each other. There has been the odd row in there but for the most part they were good chats. We came to the conclusion that things weren’t working and we wanted different things (she wants to move to Paris, god knows why!!).
In the last few days things have really moved forward quickly and she is just about to accept the tenancy on a new flat with her friend, leaving me in this place for 6 weeks paying for rent I cannot afford. It has all just hit me what is happening as I think I have been on auto-pilot for the last few weeks. I really hate the thought of losing her as she is such a fantastic companion, but I think that is all we are now, just friends. I am thinking that I want this all to end and for us to just go back to normal but I think deep down I realise things won’t work and that this is a good thing.
As I said, not sure what the point of this post is but never mind.
PS. There is so much more detail I could go into but this is already a bit tl;dr
First of all, sorry for posting a girl thread. Not sure what I am trying to achieve but sometimes it is good to get things off your chest, and as I only really have my Mum to talk to about things it is also sometimes nice to get some input from others, even if it is a bit of an OMG TO THE INTERNETS!L:!LOL moment.
Long story short, I met my girlfriend just over 2 years ago as we worked at the same place. We clicked straight away and within 3 months we were living together. Over the last 2 years we have had some fantastic times and we get on so well. She has in the last 6-12 months had a few trust issues because I have done some stupid things, not cheated on her, but things which when I think back I can see how she might have been annoyed.
The last 6-12 months have been a bit stale. I love her so much but I think I grew tired of our arguments. We didn’t argue much but we would have the odd massive argument, usually fuelled by her drinking. I actually have permanent scar on my face (albeit a feint one) from where she clawed at my face once. Anyway, that isn’t really important. Also, whilst I know she is incredibly attractive, something just wasn’t there for me, and it really really frustrated me. I don’t know what it was but I just couldn’t bring myself to show her any affection other than the hello and goodbye kisses. I still don’t know why this is.
We moved into a new flat 6 months ago and things haven’t really been any better. This next bit might seem a bit off topic but it is related. When I was 18 (I am 23 now, she is 23 also BTW) my parents moved to France, and around 10 months ago my Dad passed away. So, my Mum is moving back to England to be nearer family and she is moving back in 6 weeks. Her moving back made me think “If I was single, I could live with my Mum for a bit”. For various reasons this really appealed to me, saving a bit of money for 6-12 months, supporting my mum and my mum supporting me after losing my Dad, especially as for me her moving back has triggered a realisation in my mind as to what has happened, and I feel rubbish about it.
ANYWAY……………bored yet? If not, carry on reading!
So, 3 weeks ago I shared these thoughts with my girlfriend, and this resulted in the last 3 weeks being spent having very honest and open discussions with each other. There has been the odd row in there but for the most part they were good chats. We came to the conclusion that things weren’t working and we wanted different things (she wants to move to Paris, god knows why!!).
In the last few days things have really moved forward quickly and she is just about to accept the tenancy on a new flat with her friend, leaving me in this place for 6 weeks paying for rent I cannot afford. It has all just hit me what is happening as I think I have been on auto-pilot for the last few weeks. I really hate the thought of losing her as she is such a fantastic companion, but I think that is all we are now, just friends. I am thinking that I want this all to end and for us to just go back to normal but I think deep down I realise things won’t work and that this is a good thing.
As I said, not sure what the point of this post is but never mind.
PS. There is so much more detail I could go into but this is already a bit tl;dr
