Bro Code - Was this against it?

Davepen

Davepen

Davepen

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Right,
Need some confirmation of whether or not this was out of order as I'm not sure if I broke 'the bro code' and need to apologise.

My friend/housemate has been into this girl for quite some time, they've been friends for years, I've known her myself for about 5 years.



He's been into her for a long time, but she isn't interested in anything more than a friendship, also she was in a relationship till about 3 months ago.

At the weekend we went out, all got a bit inebriated, as you do, ended up coming back to mine for more drinks.

Me and this girl had been flirting all night, nothing major or out of the ordinary.

Most had gone to bed except from us 3, then I also decided to hit the sack.


I went to sleep, then an hour or so later she comes into my room and gets into bed and wakes me up.

You can obviously see where this is going.


Come the morning and she gets a couple of texts off him saying he doesn't think they should be friends any more, and asking if there is something wrong with him.

Turns out that after I went to bed he tried it on with her, but she shot him down, before coming to my room. :rolleyes:

He obviously heard us at it :(

Now this girl is pretty promiscuous, he knows this, as do I.


I have been single for a while now, and no sex for 3-4 months can do crazy things to a man.


Was I a bad friend for going along with her and getting jiggy? I didn't exactly instigate it, but I didn't stop it either.


I don't want to upset the guy, he's a good friend, but what's happened has happened and I can't take it back now.


Does anyone have any ideas of how I can make it up to him? Or if I even need to?


Thanks
 
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Thanks for all this great input guys, this is really helping.


I don't see it as anything more than a one nighter, and I know how I'd feel if it was the other way around :(

He hasn't said anything to me about it, he's just been off with me.


I've got no interest in sparking up a relationship with this girl, but I'd hate to be the reason why they stopped being friends.


But realistically, yes, he needs to let it go with her.

Whenever they go out he is always trying to hatch some plan or hoping he'll get some pity sex, which isn't the way a friendship should be and isn't healthy.

I suppose I'm just the final straw that broke the camels back, but it sucks that it had to be me :(

Altho, on the plus side, I broke my 4 month hiatus :)
 
elmarko1234 said:
Don't worry about it.

In the long run it may do him some good to move on, it's unhealthy for people to become obsessed with women they have no real emotional/romantic connection with (nothing more than infatuation) - you did him a favour.

He just needs to learn that being a friend to a girl is just that, not to be used as a method to get in the back-door (pardon the pun) - I've known people to do exactly that, going around befriending loads of girls (then claiming them), if you respected these "claims" from any dude you would be single forever.

Besides, you can't claim a partner, if she isn't interested in him that's it - game over.
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This is quality, nice one :)

Some really great advice here guys, thanks so much for the input.
 
Spawn said:
LOL basically your mate is trying to save her ie buy her things, be there for her etc etc. In other words hes a doormat all because he wants a piece of her which he will never get.
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Yeah I see that.

He is being there for her in the hope he will get something out of it.

But he wont.
 
shephga said:
1) if the original poster had not sealed the deal, then posted here about passing up the opportunity - the abuse he'd get

2) if it had been a man sneaking into a ladies bedroom whilst she slept being woken for sex, it would be a very different forum thread.
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1) I dunno, passing up the opportunity means I wouldn't have posted here, as I would have no issue, and would not want to lose man points for tuning down guaranteed sexytime. :)

2) That's true, but then it's not like I was unaware of what was happening.
 
Thanks for all the input guys, was really helpful. :)

For anyone interested I'll conclude.


When I saw him yesterday he actually apologised to me.


Apparently this girl has done this to him before, she leads him on, then sleeps with someone close to him.

He was obviously a bit upset by it all but we man-hugged, I apologised, and we should be good now.

Don't think either of us will be seeing that girl any time soon tho, which is a shame as they seemed to have a good friendship...

But then I suppose is one side of a friendship wants a relationship, and the other doesn't, it wont ever work :/

But at least we are still bros :D Thanks for all the good advice.

And yeah....

'worst "I just had sex" thread ever' :D
 
Skyline said:
Nice one.. She sounds like a great "Friend" to do that to someone that she obviously knows has feelings for her and on more than one occasion :rolleyes:. The both of you are best off rid of her!
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I actually spoke to her yesterday about the situation, and she played the "Oh I had no idea he was interested in me! :eek:" card. Lol. Women can be so evil.
 
no_1_dave said:
You should form a relationship with her.
This way your mate will see it was more then a **** and will end up accepting that you two are an item. Once he accepts this he will be more grown up about it and you can put it behind you. This is assuming you like her enough to have a relationship with her...
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To be honest, that is the worst thing I could do.

It's much better off as a one night thing rather than anything long term, if I struck up a relationship with her it would be a whole lot worse.

And to be honest, altho she is pretty hot, she gets around quite a bit, so not relationship material.
 
Pumpkinstew said:
Aw, I loves a happy ending.:)

You ended your dry spell and got your buddy back.

Now if you want the bonus man points tell your conquest to sort your mate out with one of her friends with lower standards...or you'll spread the rumour she gave you knob-rot.
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But if I spread that rumour the dry spell may come back...? :p
 
[FnG]magnolia;21882050 said:
If you'd said you were Dr Dre in the OP then no one would have said that you were literally the worst 'friend' they could ever not hope for.

You're a terrible person. Stop being a terrible person. Also, stop calling women hoes (unless you are Dre in which case I don't know).

tl;dr : your life sounds terrible and you should do something about that.
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You never heard the term "bros before hoes"?

Also, who the hell are you? **** off ;)

Sig appropriate it seems :D
 
DiscoDave said:
I wouldn't say you were in the wrong, but It was a insensitive of you to get it with this lass knowing he's pretty much infatuated with her. How would you feel if you really liked someone, tried to hit on her, got rejected and your mate had sex with her an hour or so later? also knowing that he could listen?

That's pretty rough, I feel sorry for the guy. Also "I have been single for a while now, and no sex for 3-4 months can do crazy things to a man." is a **** poor excuse to hurt your friend with.
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She then got into my bed a hour or so later when I was asleep, not like I made it happen. Also, I know it isn't an excuse, but surely you how hard it would be to turn it down when it's offered on a plate after nothing for 4 months?

I knew we were being quite flirtatious so I did the right thing and went to bed alone.

Obviously I'd feel bad, I was not debating that :)

And yeah, 'bro code' :D
bro_code_thumb%5B1%5D.gif


No, not primary school, late twenties.

But you know, there are unwritten rules between friends when it comes to women, and crossing these boundaries can be upsetting to people.

It's obviously quite jovial, but us guys have got to stick together :)
 
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DiscoDave said:
Bull**** you just lacked the willpower to tell her to GTFO.
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Yeah I admitted the lack of willpower already, she's pretty fine.

My willpower was not under debate :) I was pretty drunk and already in bed.

I tried to do the right thing and went to bed alone but it didn't work out :/



Either way we're cool now, he understands, and I'm sure if the tables were turned he'd have done the same.
 
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