Good post.
Absolutley spot on.
not spot on, plenty of people, i mean a ridiculous amount of people, especially with kids find themselves with no way out of a relationship. saying to a partner you want to break up normally leads to lots of talking which can easily lead to being persauded to stay. Not all, but lots of people conciously, or subconsiously do it to sabotage a relationship so they can get out of it, as it often causes both people involved to want to get out, rather than just the one with one person trying hard to persaude the other to stay. You get into area's of pressuring someone to stay for the sake of the kids etc, etc and life gets nasty or can do.
There are lots of people who stay in bad relationships because a bad or even just not great relationship is still just that, a relationship, being single is hard and lonely and a terrifying idea for someone whose had someone there for a year or a decade, or 50 years. People stay in abusive relationships because at least its a known quantity, the next person you get with could be worse, who knows.
I'm not defending your wife, i'm just saying in general the black and white world that everyone wants to live in will NEVER< EVER be black and white with simple easy answers and easy choices to make. the right thing to do is often, VERY often the hardest choice, speaking to someone to let them know you just don't want to be with them, possibly leaving your kids because you are deeply unhappy, can you imagine that conversation? or just have an affair until you're caught and the other person wants out? TBH thats no worse, infact it can heap the guilt on the other person for wanting out, but my point is, its what a lot of people do.
As for people being selfish "these days" what tripe. Anyone in any relationship is there for themselves. you don't marry someone because it makes the other person happy, you do it because the relationship makes YOU happy. life is for living, half of everything you ever do will miff someone off, in the end , we die having enjoyed ourselves or not and you can only really be selfish in making the choices about what makes you happy. its natural and everyone does it to a certain degree.
frankly, to the OP you have to think of that. are you happy right now? can you ever see yourself happy? you could spend months, or years fighting trying to salvage a relationship, it might be worth it. but be honest with yourself, all the fighting , even if you think the kids don't know about it, they do, it will affect them. If in the end you think you can't be happy with her anymore, and thats something you'll have to think over a while, then really, you can spend months years becoming hostile with her making being with your kids and bringing them up as a family incredibly difficult. or get it over with soon, amicably and move on as quickly as possible, which will leave you happier in the long run, her, and most certainly happier and healthier kids.
Good luck anyway with whatever.
EDIT:- dunno how relevant some of that is, classic case of quoting a reply and could only see one more page on the subect + the last page link, didn't see it was 6 pages long
