Can someone go over my new (and ?improved?) CV before i go to drop it off

Flare · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:11

*edit* quick question, My mum is basically saying that i should re-type it in first person because it is difficult to read. I don't think she is right, what do you think?

So following on from my last thread here

I have completely redone my CV after realising it was pretty poor (with a bit of help from fellow members!

)

So here is my new and improved one that is now directly aimed at a specific job title at a restaurant:

CASHIER
Will be serving at point of sale, taking payments, food coordination and maintaining service is carried out to set standards. Must be customer focused and able to work as part of a team

Direct link to view larger version here

*edit* i've just noticed that the last sentence of employment says "as part of a team as part of a team. "
and that my grade for ICT says "Bs" (meant to be B)

I am not 100 sure about the order i have put it in, originally skills came after employment but that left a lot more whit space at the end of the second page so i swapped them around to make it look less blanc. Is this order ok?

And once again, thanks to everyone who gave me advice on my previous thread. It is really appreciated

Thanks,

Flare

Ricochet J · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:13

Big cv in link is not very big

Flare · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:17

Ricochet J said:
Big cv in link is not very big

I know, unfortunately photobucket is different now and i dont know how to select the upload size

and ideas?

*edit* bigger version is uploaded

mac1st3 · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:32

"this has led to be very patients in all situations"
typo there mate

but overall, MUCH better than the last one

SideWinder · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:35

Looks pretty clean but the fact it isn't all lined up bugs me.

Flare · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:39

mac1st3 said:
"this has led to be very patients in all situations"
typo there mate
but overall, MUCH better than the last one

Good spot, you deserve a cookie

Thanks a lot! I thought it was as well

SideWinder said:
Looks pretty clean but the fact it isn't all lined up bugs me.

It is all lined up really, it's just the bullet points and sub bullet points you don't like isn't it? Oh and i have changed the "Objective" section to be left aligned.

mac1st3 · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:39

SideWinder said:
Looks pretty clean but the fact it isn't all lined up bugs me.

the bullet points all line up as do sub sections, but the "objecetive" bit annoys me a little just cause of OCD lol, everything else is Left justified, and that's the only bit in the centre

POB · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:40

Two pages seems too long, considering the content.

Or is this just a word reading view?

Flare · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:42

mac1st3 said:
the bullet points all line up as do sub sections, but the "objecetive" bit annoys me a little just cause of OCD lol, everything else is Left justified, and that's the only bit in the centre

Flare said:
It is all lined up really, it's just the bullet points and sub bullet points you don't like isn't it? Oh and i have changed the "Objective" section to be left aligned.

It is two pages long, the only way to shorten it would be to completely 'redesign' it which i don't want to do! I thought ideally CVs should be 1-2 pages?

POB · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:43

Your have work with my father and his business, but everything else is in the 3rd person.

Deleted member 651465 · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:44

You have put "patients" where you mean "patience" in interests and activities.

Rhys · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:45

Whats the point in putting references on request?

You say your objective is to be cashier and then you put your first skill as "Confident IT user" and first responsibility as "washing up." Id try to "jazz it up" a bit. Maybe put skill as experienced caterer or put fluent in German first. Your CV content is not that impressive so you need to make it stand out somehow.

Also "business minded" isnt really a skill is it? Id just put Experience in (whatever your father does).

You assume fishing has made you patient in "all situations". This assumption makes you seem naive. Fishing is hardly preparation for when you have a deadline and your manager is ringing you and its all going wrong and your pc has just deleted your report, etc. Id just try to keep your hobbies to one line. e.g. Fishing, Socialising with friends, Computing

mac1st3 · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:47

Flare said:
It is two pages long, the only way to shorten it would be to completely 'redesign' it which i don't want to do! I thought ideally CVs should be 1-2 pages?

good good

and I was told by lecturers and career advisors CVs should be about 2 pages long, so you're fine there, only thing is if you have any other work experience (volunteering etc) put that too if you can, while it's understandable you've only had one job, anything that makes you look more employable/available is a bonus

but personally, for a job in a pub/restraunt, I think it's pretty much there

Participant · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:47

Rhys said:
Whats the point in putting references on request?

That's what most people do for two reasons:

- saves space
- no point giving them information they don't want or need

Deleted member 651465 · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:50

You also need to amend the indent levels.

There's some crazy tabbing going on where it isn't needed and the objective at the top is centralised for no apparent reason :confused:

Rhys · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:54

Robbie G said:
That's what most people do for two reasons:

- saves space
- no point giving them information they don't want or need

Just dont put it in at all then. If someone wants to hire you they will ask for references after an interview.

Participant · 25 Sep 2009 at 14:58

Rhys said:
Just dont put it in at all then. If someone wants to hire you they will ask for references after an interview.

Adding 'References on request' is standard CV practice. Nothing wrong with it and omitting it could look like you didn't have any or had something to hide.

Flare · 25 Sep 2009 at 15:01

POB said:
Your have work with my father and his business, but everything else is in the 3rd person.

That has no been changed, thanks

EVH said:
You have put "patients" where you mean "patience" in interests and activities.

Changed, thanks

Rhys said:
You say your objective is to be cashier and then you put your first skill as "Confident IT user" and first responsibility as "washing up." Id try to "jazz it up" a bit. Maybe put skill as experienced caterer or put fluent in German first. Your CV content is not that impressive so you need to make it stand out somehow.

Also "business minded" isnt really a skill is it? Id just put Experience in (whatever your father does).

You assume fishing has made you patient in "all situations". This assumption makes you seem naive. Fishing is hardly preparation for when you have a deadline and your manager is ringing you and its all going wrong and your pc has just deleted your report, etc. Id just try to keep your hobbies to one line. e.g. Fishing, Socialising with friends, Computing

I am re-wording the majority of my sections at the moment; washing up has gone into "other duties include" section (so it doesn't stand out as much)

Fair enough, he has his own EpOS business which branches out into a variety of other areas. So i will include this as it is relevant.

Ok, i will change it to say that fishing has helped to make me more patient. Instead of it making out like it is the thing that has made me patient.

Thanks for the advice

mac1st3 said:
good good

and I was told by lecturers and career advisors CVs should be about 2 pages long, so you're fine there, only thing is if you have any other work experience (volunteering etc) put that too if you can, while it's understandable you've only had one job, anything that makes you look more employable/available is a bonus

but personally, for a job in a pub/restraunt, I think it's pretty much there

Im glad to hear it's up to scratch.

Is it acceptable to include details about my work experience i did at high school? I worked with the police for one week in various environments and then worked at a country park with rangers.

EVH said:
You also need to ammend the indent levels.

There's some crazy tabbing going on where it isn't needed and the objective at the top is centralised for no apparent reason

Yeah i have just realised that, should i change the primary bullet points to be in line with text that has not been bulleted (e.g. look at summary of qualifications and objective)

mac1st3 · 25 Sep 2009 at 15:04

Flare said:
Is it acceptable to include details about my work experience i did at high school? I worked with the police for one week in various environments and then worked at a country park with rangers.

I'd say definitely, the Police one will make you more trustworthy, volunteer work in general helps in my experience as it shows you're the "giving" sort and less likely to start pulling sick days or skipping work etc, shows you *want* to work rather than just want the money

Flare · 25 Sep 2009 at 15:06

mac1st3 said:
I'd say definitely, the Police one will make you more trustworthy, volunteer work in general helps in my experience as it shows you're the "giving" sort and less likely to start pulling sick days or skipping work etc, shows you *want* to work rather than just want the money

Clever! I shall include something about that then

Can someone go over my new (and ?improved?) CV before i go to drop it off

Deleted member 651465

Deleted member 651465

Deleted member 651465

Deleted member 651465