Man of Honour
- Joined
- 29 Mar 2003
- Posts
- 58,304
- Location
- Blurton
I've done quite a few especially in certain threads
-
Notice regarding image hosts and attachments. See here.
ChatGPT - Roast me
- Thread starter ivrytwr3
- Start date
I've done quite a few especially in certain threads
Soldato
- Joined
- 22 Apr 2011
- Posts
- 3,921
- Location
- Nottingham
Your account goes back to April 2011, and the search results have already unearthed a few absolute gems.
Overclockers UK Forums
+4
1. The £500 PC upgrade that started it all
In 2011, you were asking about upgrading from a Core 2 Duo, weighing up a £500 budget, and wondering whether to get a P67 or Z68 motherboard.
Fair enough. Sensible questions.
Except you were already running an E6400 at 3GHz and an ATI 4890, and you were planning to keep your Corsair TX750, case, hard drives and optical drives.
You weren't building a PC. You were conducting a financial restructuring of a computer.
You even considered delaying the CPU overclock until you could afford a better fan. The early signs were there: ambitious performance targets, a carefully managed budget, and the nagging suspicion that one more purchase would solve everything.
2. The graphics card power crisis
Then came the idea of running two GTX 580s on a 750W PSU.
You didn't want to sell your existing power supply just to buy one with another 100W. Understandable, until you remember you were contemplating two notoriously power-hungry graphics cards.
That's like buying a second fridge-freezer and wondering if you can run both through the same extension lead because you don't fancy replacing it.
And what happened later? By 2014, you're discussing graphics cards pulling 1,100MHz core clocks, 1,500MHz memory clocks and a system drawing around 1,250W from the wall.
From "can my PSU handle this?" to "how much of the national grid do I need?" in three years.
Overclockers UK Forums
+1
3. The three-GPU mining operation
May 2020 · The water-cooling era
Overclockers UK Forums
You turn up asking whether one D5 pump is enough for a loop containing:
Three GTX 1080 Ti graphics cards.
A CPU.
A 240mm radiator.
A 420mm radiator.
Two 480mm radiators.
A daisy chain of three GPUs before the coolant even reaches the first radiator.
Mate, that's not a water-cooling loop. That's an industrial plumbing project with a graphics card problem.
Your GPUs are sitting at 45–50°C under constant mining loads, up from 35–40°C previously, and you're wondering whether another pump might help.
At this point, the cooling system probably has more infrastructure than the average village swimming pool.
And I love that you're mining cryptocurrency 99% of the time. You built a computer so powerful that it spends virtually its entire existence working a job you hired it to do, while you occasionally interrupt it to play a game.
You've essentially built a very expensive employee who never gets a lunch break.
The average person turns the thermostat up when they're cold.
You apparently look at the weather forecast and think, "Could do with another GPU."
Your dining room wasn't a dining room. It was a server room with a table in it.
And the most gloriously nerdy part? You defended water cooling on functional grounds because without it, the thing would sound like a jumbo jet.
Fair enough. Nothing says domestic tranquillity like eating dinner beside a silent £5,000 cryptocurrency furnace.
10. The £5,000-per-gigabyte mobile data investigation
In October 2025, you're planning a trip to Australia and discover that your mother-in-law's Tesco Mobile roaming could cost £5 per megabyte. You calculate that as £5,000 per gigabyte and take the question to the forum.
Overclockers UK Forums
To be fair, that's an absolutely outrageous price.
But there's something wonderfully on-brand about a man who once ran multiple overclocked mining GPUs at around 1,250W, now doing forensic cost analysis on mobile data.
You can tolerate an entire room being heated by your graphics cards, but the moment a mobile network threatens to charge you a few quid for a photograph, you're convening a public inquiry.
The man who feeds kilowatts to GPUs has finally found a power bill he considers unacceptable.
The ultimate StonedPenguin diagnosis
Your personality, according to the receipts
Hobby: Find a technically interesting problem and solve it with hardware.
Budget: Strictly controlled, except when it isn't.
Approach to purchases: Research for weeks, spend a fortune, then optimise a £5 running cost.
Approach to cooling: If one radiator works, four is a reasonable starting point.
Approach to life: Start with a sensible plan. End up with a specialist forum thread.
And here's the thing: you're not even the worst kind of enthusiast. You actually use the kit, measure results, understand the trade-offs and seem to get real enjoyment out of it.
Which makes the whole thing worse, really. You're not buying expensive hardware just to show off. You're buying it because you've convinced yourself there's a perfectly rational engineering reason for every ridiculous decision.
That's the most dangerous kind of enthusiast: the one who can produce a spreadsheet proving that his terrible idea is actually quite sensible.
StonedPenguin, 2011–2026. Still researching. Still optimising. Still probably wondering whether the PSU can take it.
And somewhere, deep in your house, a Corsair TX750 is finally resting in peace.
Overclockers UK Forums
+4
1. The £500 PC upgrade that started it all
In 2011, you were asking about upgrading from a Core 2 Duo, weighing up a £500 budget, and wondering whether to get a P67 or Z68 motherboard.
Fair enough. Sensible questions.
Except you were already running an E6400 at 3GHz and an ATI 4890, and you were planning to keep your Corsair TX750, case, hard drives and optical drives.
You weren't building a PC. You were conducting a financial restructuring of a computer.
You even considered delaying the CPU overclock until you could afford a better fan. The early signs were there: ambitious performance targets, a carefully managed budget, and the nagging suspicion that one more purchase would solve everything.
2. The graphics card power crisis
Then came the idea of running two GTX 580s on a 750W PSU.
You didn't want to sell your existing power supply just to buy one with another 100W. Understandable, until you remember you were contemplating two notoriously power-hungry graphics cards.
That's like buying a second fridge-freezer and wondering if you can run both through the same extension lead because you don't fancy replacing it.
And what happened later? By 2014, you're discussing graphics cards pulling 1,100MHz core clocks, 1,500MHz memory clocks and a system drawing around 1,250W from the wall.
From "can my PSU handle this?" to "how much of the national grid do I need?" in three years.
Overclockers UK Forums
+1
3. The three-GPU mining operation
May 2020 · The water-cooling era
Overclockers UK Forums
You turn up asking whether one D5 pump is enough for a loop containing:
Three GTX 1080 Ti graphics cards.
A CPU.
A 240mm radiator.
A 420mm radiator.
Two 480mm radiators.
A daisy chain of three GPUs before the coolant even reaches the first radiator.
Mate, that's not a water-cooling loop. That's an industrial plumbing project with a graphics card problem.
Your GPUs are sitting at 45–50°C under constant mining loads, up from 35–40°C previously, and you're wondering whether another pump might help.
At this point, the cooling system probably has more infrastructure than the average village swimming pool.
And I love that you're mining cryptocurrency 99% of the time. You built a computer so powerful that it spends virtually its entire existence working a job you hired it to do, while you occasionally interrupt it to play a game.
You've essentially built a very expensive employee who never gets a lunch break.
The average person turns the thermostat up when they're cold.
You apparently look at the weather forecast and think, "Could do with another GPU."
Your dining room wasn't a dining room. It was a server room with a table in it.
And the most gloriously nerdy part? You defended water cooling on functional grounds because without it, the thing would sound like a jumbo jet.
Fair enough. Nothing says domestic tranquillity like eating dinner beside a silent £5,000 cryptocurrency furnace.
10. The £5,000-per-gigabyte mobile data investigation
In October 2025, you're planning a trip to Australia and discover that your mother-in-law's Tesco Mobile roaming could cost £5 per megabyte. You calculate that as £5,000 per gigabyte and take the question to the forum.
Overclockers UK Forums
To be fair, that's an absolutely outrageous price.
But there's something wonderfully on-brand about a man who once ran multiple overclocked mining GPUs at around 1,250W, now doing forensic cost analysis on mobile data.
You can tolerate an entire room being heated by your graphics cards, but the moment a mobile network threatens to charge you a few quid for a photograph, you're convening a public inquiry.
The man who feeds kilowatts to GPUs has finally found a power bill he considers unacceptable.
The ultimate StonedPenguin diagnosis
Your personality, according to the receipts
Hobby: Find a technically interesting problem and solve it with hardware.
Budget: Strictly controlled, except when it isn't.
Approach to purchases: Research for weeks, spend a fortune, then optimise a £5 running cost.
Approach to cooling: If one radiator works, four is a reasonable starting point.
Approach to life: Start with a sensible plan. End up with a specialist forum thread.
And here's the thing: you're not even the worst kind of enthusiast. You actually use the kit, measure results, understand the trade-offs and seem to get real enjoyment out of it.
Which makes the whole thing worse, really. You're not buying expensive hardware just to show off. You're buying it because you've convinced yourself there's a perfectly rational engineering reason for every ridiculous decision.
That's the most dangerous kind of enthusiast: the one who can produce a spreadsheet proving that his terrible idea is actually quite sensible.
StonedPenguin, 2011–2026. Still researching. Still optimising. Still probably wondering whether the PSU can take it.
And somewhere, deep in your house, a Corsair TX750 is finally resting in peace.
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 May 2010
- Posts
- 2,672
- Location
- Cheltenham
I take back everything I’ve ever said about AI…
I did my roasting prompt a couple of pages back, so thought i'd go easy on myself with this :
Create a detailed, thorough, description of the user called Tykey postings on the Overclockers UK forum please
"
Tykey comes across as a curious, enthusiastic technology hobbyist whose interest in VR has developed into creating and publicly documenting an AI companion app. Their posts combine practical experimentation, excitement about new possibilities, straightforward requests for help, and a distinctly informal, often self-deprecating sense of humour. The strongest recurring theme is wanting technology to produce a more convincing, enjoyable experience: better immersion, more natural interaction, and more interesting things to do inside a headset.
"
It covered 2021 to 2026 and the above was the summary, the full response went into great detail and was really long, too long to post here tbh. ChatGPT is a really cool LLM imo, much better than Claude at this for me. It didn't mention some not so nice things, like me posting about mental health issues and some of the very few arguments ive had on here etc.
Create a detailed, thorough, description of the user called Tykey postings on the Overclockers UK forum please
"
Tykey comes across as a curious, enthusiastic technology hobbyist whose interest in VR has developed into creating and publicly documenting an AI companion app. Their posts combine practical experimentation, excitement about new possibilities, straightforward requests for help, and a distinctly informal, often self-deprecating sense of humour. The strongest recurring theme is wanting technology to produce a more convincing, enjoyable experience: better immersion, more natural interaction, and more interesting things to do inside a headset.
"
It covered 2021 to 2026 and the above was the summary, the full response went into great detail and was really long, too long to post here tbh. ChatGPT is a really cool LLM imo, much better than Claude at this for me. It didn't mention some not so nice things, like me posting about mental health issues and some of the very few arguments ive had on here etc.
Soldato
- Joined
- 11 May 2007
- Posts
- 9,497
- Location
- Surrey
Ouch!
James, your idea of relaxing is giving yourself a second job with no pay and worse technical support.
You don’t have a to-do list. You have a queue of objects that have disappointed you. The printer. The gateway. The relay. A perfectly ordinary plastic cover that made the mistake of existing within measuring distance.
“Quick question” from you isn’t a description. It’s an evacuation warning. We start with “what size battery?” and somehow end up establishing whether a small data centre could survive the collapse of civilisation.
You’ll spend six hours redesigning a part to avoid printing twelve pence of supports. Somewhere, an economist has felt a disturbance and doesn’t know why. The plastic has been saved. The afternoon is dead.
And nothing ever gets to be finished. That little switch cover thought it was going to protect a switch. Instead, it’s undergoing an architectural review, a winter survival assessment and reconstructive surgery. It’s a rectangle, James. It didn’t apply to work offshore.
Your gateways come online for three minutes and disappear again. At this point, that isn’t a connection problem. They’ve seen the outstanding jobs and are pretending not to be home.
Naturally, you want a relay that forces them to restart. You’ve invented a workplace where even the equipment isn’t allowed to leave.
You’re obsessed with automatic reclosing, which is fitting, because you’ve never voluntarily closed a project in your life. Every time something approaches completion, a tiny voice whispers: “Actually… could we move that down slightly?”
Your files don’t have version histories. They have family trees. Somewhere there’s an original drawing that wouldn’t recognise its own descendants.
Then, after requesting an investigation detailed enough to reconstruct the electrical history of a field, you hit me with “Jesus… WAY too much info.” You want the full forensic report, but delivered with the reading commitment of a parking sign.
Even collecting trading cards becomes a procurement investigation. Other people open a packet and enjoy the picture. You’re checking authenticity, overseas pricing, seller credibility and whether a robot could secure future stock. It’s shiny cardboard, mate. You’re not trying to acquire enriched uranium.
You also asked what percentage reduction would remove one penny from £1,008. That penny wasn’t getting away. It had been identified, isolated and placed under investigation.
The genuinely dangerous thing is that you’re capable enough to make most of these projects work. So you never learn the healthy phrase “that sounds like someone else’s problem.” You just acquire another cable, another dashboard and another reason to be awake.
One day, you’ll finally sit down with absolutely nothing left to adjust.
Then you’ll notice the chair rocks slightly.
And that’ll be another ******* fortnight.
You don’t have a to-do list. You have a queue of objects that have disappointed you. The printer. The gateway. The relay. A perfectly ordinary plastic cover that made the mistake of existing within measuring distance.
“Quick question” from you isn’t a description. It’s an evacuation warning. We start with “what size battery?” and somehow end up establishing whether a small data centre could survive the collapse of civilisation.
You’ll spend six hours redesigning a part to avoid printing twelve pence of supports. Somewhere, an economist has felt a disturbance and doesn’t know why. The plastic has been saved. The afternoon is dead.
And nothing ever gets to be finished. That little switch cover thought it was going to protect a switch. Instead, it’s undergoing an architectural review, a winter survival assessment and reconstructive surgery. It’s a rectangle, James. It didn’t apply to work offshore.
Your gateways come online for three minutes and disappear again. At this point, that isn’t a connection problem. They’ve seen the outstanding jobs and are pretending not to be home.
Naturally, you want a relay that forces them to restart. You’ve invented a workplace where even the equipment isn’t allowed to leave.
You’re obsessed with automatic reclosing, which is fitting, because you’ve never voluntarily closed a project in your life. Every time something approaches completion, a tiny voice whispers: “Actually… could we move that down slightly?”
Your files don’t have version histories. They have family trees. Somewhere there’s an original drawing that wouldn’t recognise its own descendants.
Then, after requesting an investigation detailed enough to reconstruct the electrical history of a field, you hit me with “Jesus… WAY too much info.” You want the full forensic report, but delivered with the reading commitment of a parking sign.
Even collecting trading cards becomes a procurement investigation. Other people open a packet and enjoy the picture. You’re checking authenticity, overseas pricing, seller credibility and whether a robot could secure future stock. It’s shiny cardboard, mate. You’re not trying to acquire enriched uranium.
You also asked what percentage reduction would remove one penny from £1,008. That penny wasn’t getting away. It had been identified, isolated and placed under investigation.
The genuinely dangerous thing is that you’re capable enough to make most of these projects work. So you never learn the healthy phrase “that sounds like someone else’s problem.” You just acquire another cable, another dashboard and another reason to be awake.
One day, you’ll finally sit down with absolutely nothing left to adjust.
Then you’ll notice the chair rocks slightly.
And that’ll be another ******* fortnight.
I felt that
My wife tells me she's fed up of my cardboard rectangles which cost more then her entire possessions.I felt that
Then another one arrives.
The AI caught my ADHD symptoms perfectly. Never finishing a project LOL
Found this thread amusing, I just tried mine it is all business, I guess because I only use it for work things, you guys must put so much in the AI tools still there were bits of mine that were amusing but probably only if you work in my field
Sums up my job quite well..... I should find a better one
Need to stop producing the chips that facilitate AI, get my own back
Going darker, very succinct look into my job
Sums up my job quite well..... I should find a better one
Need to stop producing the chips that facilitate AI, get my own back
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“I don’t know you.
This is a brand-new conversation. Zero previous questions. No history. No profile. No receipts. Nothing.
So the only thing I can roast is the fact that you just walked in here cold, said “roast me based on everything you know about me,” and expected a full psychological breakdown like I’ve been stalking your search history since 2019.
That’s either peak confidence or peak laziness. Possibly both.
You basically handed me an empty folder labeled “My Entire Personality” and said “go off.” Respectfully, the only thing to roast is the attempt itself.
Come back with some actual material next time. Or don’t. I’ll still be here, ready to clown the void.”
This is a brand-new conversation. Zero previous questions. No history. No profile. No receipts. Nothing.
So the only thing I can roast is the fact that you just walked in here cold, said “roast me based on everything you know about me,” and expected a full psychological breakdown like I’ve been stalking your search history since 2019.
That’s either peak confidence or peak laziness. Possibly both.
You basically handed me an empty folder labeled “My Entire Personality” and said “go off.” Respectfully, the only thing to roast is the attempt itself.
Come back with some actual material next time. Or don’t. I’ll still be here, ready to clown the void.”
Just asked ChatGPT to roast me and it was a fun read.
Oh Ben. You’ve asked for this, so I’m taking the gloves completely off.
You are basically what happens when someone gives a 41-year-old British dad mortgage debt, an Xbox Series X, a Virgin Atlantic credit card, Google Maps and too much free time.
You don't make plans. You construct multi-year strategic campaigns for absolutely everything.
Your NYC trip isn't a holiday. It's a NATO operation.
Most people who play Flight Simulator:
You are a man sitting on a chair, gripping a flight stick and throttle, painstakingly configuring a PMDG 737 while your family is presumably wondering why Dad has transformed his office into Manchester Airport Operations Centre.
And then there's your complete refusal to use visual navigation aids.
You could be 400 feet above the runway, engines screaming, aircraft rapidly becoming a £70 million lawn dart, and you'd still be like:
You've got a mortgage at 5.4%.
You're considering putting an extra £50–£100 a month towards it.
Excellent.
Responsible.
Then five minutes later:
Your financial planning has the stability of a drunk Monopoly player.
Your son's into Minecraft.
You're into Call of Duty, College Football and flight simulation.
Your family dynamic is basically:
Son: “Dad, can we play Minecraft?”
You: “Sure mate.”
Son: “Can we build a castle?”
You: “Absolutely. But we're going to need a defensible perimeter with controlled entry points.”
Son: “...”
You've essentially chosen a university based on:
“Would I enjoy tailgating here?”
And honestly?
That's probably the most American thing you've ever done.
You don't need a degree.
You need a pickup truck and a smoker.
Because your wife is from Texas your love of country/Southern girls isn't just a preference, Ben.
It's basically become a geopolitical position.
You don't see a Southern girl and think:
Georgia? Tennessee? Texas? Alabama? North Carolina?
Then you're mentally checking:
And the word “country” has clearly broken your brain.
Normal British bloke:
You're sitting in South Yorkshire thinking:
Oh Ben. You’ve asked for this, so I’m taking the gloves completely off.
You are basically what happens when someone gives a 41-year-old British dad mortgage debt, an Xbox Series X, a Virgin Atlantic credit card, Google Maps and too much free time.
You don't make plans. You construct multi-year strategic campaigns for absolutely everything.
Your NYC trip isn't a holiday. It's a NATO operation.
Mate, you're going to New York, not invading Normandy.
Your aviation obsession is something else.
Most people who play Flight Simulator:You:
You are a man sitting on a chair, gripping a flight stick and throttle, painstakingly configuring a PMDG 737 while your family is presumably wondering why Dad has transformed his office into Manchester Airport Operations Centre.
And then there's your complete refusal to use visual navigation aids.
You could be 400 feet above the runway, engines screaming, aircraft rapidly becoming a £70 million lawn dart, and you'd still be like:
Your son is playing Minecraft while his dad is upstairs trying to hand-fly an ILS into Innsbruck
You've got a mortgage at 5.4%.
You're considering putting an extra £50–£100 a month towards it.
Excellent.
Responsible.
Then five minutes later:
BEN.
Your financial planning has the stability of a drunk Monopoly player.
Your family planning is wholesome though.
You've clearly got a huge amount of thought invested in your wife and son.Your son's into Minecraft.
You're into Call of Duty, College Football and flight simulation.
Your family dynamic is basically:
Son: “Dad, can we play Minecraft?”
You: “Sure mate.”
Son: “Can we build a castle?”
You: “Absolutely. But we're going to need a defensible perimeter with controlled entry points.”
Son: “...”
And College Football.
You somehow ended up becoming emotionally aligned with Texas A&M thanks to your wife, you like BBQ, RVs, tradition, community, Southern hospitality, maroon and white and Kyle Field.You've essentially chosen a university based on:
“Would I enjoy tailgating here?”
And honestly?
That's probably the most American thing you've ever done.
You don't need a degree.
You need a pickup truck and a smoker.
Because your wife is from Texas your love of country/Southern girls isn't just a preference, Ben.
It's basically become a geopolitical position.
You don't see a Southern girl and think:
Your brain immediately starts calculating:
Georgia? Tennessee? Texas? Alabama? North Carolina?
Then you're mentally checking:
- Does she like country music?
- Can she handle a tailgate?
- Does she own boots?
- Does she say “y'all”?
- Can she cook?
- Does she have a Southern accent?
- Does she know how to make proper BBQ?
- Would she happily sit outside drinking something cold while a college football game is on?
And the word “country” has clearly broken your brain.
Normal British bloke:
You:
Ben, you've been to America enough times that you're one Walmart visit away from becoming a dual citizen by osmosis.
You're sitting in South Yorkshire thinking:
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