Civ 5 Giveaway

Two vampires (proper vampires not the stupid Twilight ones) are thirsty so they call into a pub. They approach the bartender and ask him if he serves blood, to which the reply is unfortunately no. "Now what will we do?" asks one vampire, the other says "Get a table and order two cups of hot water, im going to the bathroom." The second vampire goes off to the bathroom and returns with two used tampons. "What are you doing with those?" The first vampire asks. The second vampire replies "What youve never had a cup of tea before?"
 
Man walks into a bar with a giraffe, the man says to the barman "Two tequilas please, one for me and one for my tall friend here & keep them coming".

Many shots later, the man stumbles off his stool and heads for the door, the barman shouts at him "OI! You can't leave that lyin there!".

To which the man replies "And you call me drunk, that's not a lion it's a giraffe!"
 
Last edited:
eddiemcgarrigle said:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 999. "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?
Click to expand...

You Googled that didnt'ya? lol :D

scottmuir424 said:
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Click to expand...

Damn, that was my second favorite from Wikipedia. Someone took it too...
 
Last edited:
Here you go, a joke that has not been posted yet!
"What kind of murderer has moral fiber?" — "A cereal killer."

​
 
Too hard to pick just one haha...gonna do a random number pick between 4 of you in next few mins! shall edit the winner in 1st post
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom