Converting in order to marry a Muslim girl.

Lord_Kokain · 17 Sep 2013 at 05:59

I cant believe I also ended up making a relationship thread but its been bugging me for some time lately and I try to get as many opinions as possible.

Long story short, been dating this Ukrainian girl for about 4 years and we are thinking of marrying. She is a Muslim in a rather awkward way that she strictly follows some things but not others (I have certainly seen more religious lot in my life in Britain). On one hand, we have gone through a lot together and I have always anticipated other, more secular, things that may put a dent on the relationship (e.g. parents disliking it, losing interest etc). Nothing as such has happened(if anything,its been going great) which makes it feel as it might work exactly because its somehow unusual. On the other hand, this can also mean eventual disaster.

This is why I wanted to see if anyone else here (particularly a guy) has such experience or at least knows someone that converted to Islam in order to marry and whether this kind of marriage has a future.

Zefan · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:12

Why do you have to convert?

Kouba · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:13

Zefan said:
Why do you have to convert?

If I remember correctly, women in Islam can only marry Muslim men.

atpbx · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:20

She can convert to what ever space ghost you believe in.

Problem solved.

Malevolence · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:25

Does this mean that you'll have to actually start believing in her particular brand of sky-wizard and big book of fairy stories? You see, if it does then you're basically basing your entire marriage and future life together around you lying to her and her family.

Kouba · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:27

Yeah.. Not sure what kind of replies you were expecting from GD... I mean AFAIK isn't this a largely atheistic and/or agnostic community which comprises a percentage (albeit small) of members that hate foreigners and Muslims with a passion?

Hyburnate · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:30

I have nothing against muslims (well, I hate that their parents shove a book down their throat and give them no other choice IN MOST CASES). However why would you convert to a religion that you don't believe in that's so stupid it's unbelievable say goodbye to career opportunities if you do, isn't it like you have to prayer atleast 3 times a day at certain times?

Malevolence · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:34

Hyburnate said:
isn't it like you have to prayer atleast 3 times a day at certain times?

I believe it's five times a day, and when you couple that nonsense with the no bacon, no beer and no whisky rules it doesn't sound much like fun.

Kouba · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:35

Hyburnate said:
I have nothing against muslims (well, I hate that their parents shove a book down their throat and give them no other choice IN MOST CASES). However why would you convert to a religion that you don't believe in that's so stupid it's unbelievable say goodbye to career opportunities if you do, isn't it like you have to prayer atleast 3 times a day at certain times?

Many of my Muslim colleagues only take like 2 minutes to get their prayer done and that's the afternoon one whilst some others join their afternoon and evening ones to make sure that they don't get in the way of their work which is fair enough I suppose..

Hades · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:39

Not a chance I'd convert. My wife comes from a Muslim family (although she, like me, isn't religeous). There is no way I would compromise my integrity by lying to myself and others. I don't see a problem with one person marrying another with a different belief.

delta0 · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:42

The husband of a friend of mine had to do this. He became a muslim so he could marry her. There were no issues as far as I know. Can't eat pork now. Not sure what else he is doing.

Kouba · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:44

I suppose what you could do (if you REALLY want to stay with her) is say the special words that make you a muslim then just carry on with her as you did before? Perhaps she just needs to tell her parents that you said the special words.. Is she even expecting you to become a practising Muslim?

Roalith · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:48

Best friend of mine was forced to convert by his Malaysian girlfriend's parents in order to marry her - they've now been married for 12 years and kid number 2 is on the way.

So yes, it can work

RoganTheGypo · 17 Sep 2013 at 06:50

Converting to a religion that you dont have faith in is far more disrespectful to someones belifes than not converting. If she loves you she'll accept your decision. If not then I'd honestly question where you stand in her life. Its clear your willing to do anything to make it work, is she?

Scrutinize · 17 Sep 2013 at 07:00

If she loved you, she would convert to whatever you are. This is 2013....

toyotacelicagt4 · 17 Sep 2013 at 07:06

Scrutinize said:
If she loved you, she would convert to whatever you are. This is 2013....

Castiel · 17 Sep 2013 at 07:10

I know a few people people in mixed religious marriages, a friend of mine is married to a Muslim girl, but he didn't convert, he is a non-practicing Anglican and she is a practicing Muslim...her family are fine and they have been married for 15 years without any problems. I'll ask a few colleagues at work if you want, I know a couple have converted or their partners have, and see what they say.

Theophany · 17 Sep 2013 at 07:10

Short answer for me is 'no,' there are too many reasons to list why.

Regy53 · 17 Sep 2013 at 07:12

Malevolence said:
when you couple that nonsense with the no bacon, no beer and no whisky rules it doesn't sound much like fun.

Brilliant lol

Destination · 17 Sep 2013 at 07:14

Any I know had to convert. Whether it is lip service or actual conversion, they all had to do it.