Could you do this?

[Jean-F]

I’ll try to do this quickly, as it could stretch out if I’m not careful.
Almost 35 years ago, when we moved into the new build where we still live, a younger couple, the wife almost exactly my girlfriend, now my wife’s age moved in across the way.
The two women rapidly became close friends, and eventually all four of us were going out for drinks/dinner, or they were coming to us for dinner, as the other woman rarely if ever cooked.
I was a little surprised at this friendship, as they were professionals, he a lawyer, her something big in British Airways, while I was driving a Black Cab, and my girlfriend was a secretary.
However, they loved her to pieces, and I was worldly wise enough to know my way around a wine list, and I read enough broadsheets to know about world affairs to keep my end up in conversation.
We were close friends, and still are with the woman, right up until the guy was diagnosed with the big C, and died within nine months, about four years ago.
Now we’re coming to the nitty gritty, eventually she met up with a guy who lived near her mother.
They started to meet for drinks, then lunch or dinner, coming out with us sometimes.
After maybe six to eight months of this, he, a divorcee, sold his house, and moved in with our friend.
This is the kicker, she told my wife that although they share a bed, there is no way that she’ll stand for any love making.
Could you live with that? she’s just turned sixty, a slim, attractive, well dressed, and well spoken woman, you definitely would not say no if you had a chance, but how can you get into bed every night, with what is ostensibly a new partner, and know that she doesn’t want you to cuddle or fondle her, and a kiss goodnight is about all you can look forward to, (if you’re lucky).

 

[Jean-F]

When you are young sex is important, it's one of the main thing you think about in your teens and into your early twenties, but over time that biological drive lessens. I know a few couples that are in basically sexless relationships, early to mid fifties, having sex only every few months, if that, and they are fine, but it's not for everyone.

She probably thought for decades that this was the man that she was going to spend the rest of her life with and cancer took that away from her. She may come around or she may not but that is their 'problem', if they seem fine with it then what business is it of yours.

It’s none of my business, I just thought that it was an unusual set up, and that I’d ask what the consensus was here.

Plenty of medical reasons at that age or it simply being just painful for her. Unless the guy is a complete wally he must have known that was the deal when he moved in.

I believe, or at any rate my wife does, that as you’d expect from an adult male, he’d made an approach, but had been advised that that was off the table, that might have been a bridge too far for me, but perhaps he’s prepared to accept it.