Could you live without intercourse?

britboy4321 said:
Yes .. if my wife was in a car accident and ended up in a wheelchair and unable to - would I say to her 'Sorry love, I gotta go and get my rocks off'? Never ..

Seems like most people here would have to though :(
Click to expand...

Not at all... I would be exactly the same as you. But the key word in your post is 'wife'.

There is a world of difference between a wife and a person you've been dating for a couple of months. :)
 
Another vote for no I couldn't do without, if it was for a medical reason then it'd be a different story but if it was just because she didn't want it anymore then no I wouldn't be happy. Just the same as if my girlfriend had a medical condition that meant she couldn't talk anymore then yeah i'd just have to deal with it but if she refused to speak to me anymore because she just didn't want to then again i'd not be happy.

We do have differing sex drives, I could quite happily go for it multiple times a day whereas she reckons she could go without for weeks/months. However as there is more to our relationship than sex (although i still consider it very important) then I will quite happily compromise, as after all I want her to want to do it rather than do it just to keep me happy.

Besides, I think she likes it more than she lets on as we never go for very long without it happening, she still likes to make the first move sometimes and be "in charge" as she puts it.
 
shauncr91 said:
What would that prove?
Click to expand...

The only thing I can think of it proving is that I would be mad enough to take up a challenge which deprives me of something I thoroughly enjoy to satisfy someone I have never met and never will in my life.

In other words... It would only prove that I am stupid.

Thankfully... I am not! :D
 
Nope, been in the stage of a relationship when you know its going to end, 1 month without getting any and the lead up to newyears made me sleep with one of her best mates, that didn't go down too well next day.

Still lifes for learning and i felt that was an important lesson to learn :p
 
I wish I'd have taken Gordy's approach in 2 of the last 3 relationships I've been in.

Personally, no I wouldn't want to live without it in a relationship. It's very important to share the intimacy which comes as part of having sex. I've had to live without it while I've been single as I'm no one to pull just to get my rocks off. A couple of years ago I went for over a year without so much as a kiss and after a while it became the norm. However I dated a women for 3 Months who was complete filth so made up for lost time.

Such a shame she's was boring as hell besides in the bedroom. But that's another topic. Is sex enough to keep you with someone!
 
As you say being in a relationship and not getting any vs being single and not getting any action are two very different things!

One is VERY unacceptable imho and the other is just annoying!
 
GordyR said:
Of course not! We are talking about while playing the 'dating game' in my early-mid twenty's here... not marriage!

These are girls I had been seeing for 2-3 months not life partners. There's a huge difference.

I stand by my point that it is better to be honest with someone and allow them to move on and find someone they are compatible with if you find that there are significant differences between the two of you. Whether those differences are sex drive or not is irellevant. Sex drive is only in this discussion and being used as an example because that is what this thread is about.
Click to expand...

I spent 17 years with my wife with differing sex drives, it was a constant frustration, its important that you do have similar sex drives or it just leads to fights, anger and frustration on both sides.
 
Tummy said:
I think this thread is quite sad :(
Click to expand...
What's sad about it?

Sex is a part of a relationship just as much as hobbies, interests, attitudes, intelligence and love. So yes, there is more to a relationship than sex, but would you be with someone you didn't love, or you found had a stinky attitude? Probably not, and in my opinion that's no different to avoiding a relationship on the basis of mismatched sexual interests.
 
Last edited:
I can take it or leave it. Sooner or later its like watching the same movie for the 1000th time.

Obviously its a thrill with a new person but then again it always is for a while. Then sooner or later 'life' gets in the way, and the pace slows down.

Its a popular misconception that any kind of 'bond' between a man and a woman has to involve porno film / hollywood levels of sexual interaction. I'm fairly sure the millions of years we spent evolving as human beings werent spent in permanent copulation - Sex has a purpose and is an intimate act and there simply isnt any 'need' in a womans mind that once she has her 'territory' in place that she needs to go at it like a rabbit for no reason.

... unless of course each partner has some kind of massive sex drive.

Obviously if you are young, or not in a serious relationship then sex is something you go out and actively seek as part of your mating rituals. So make the best of it eh!
 
I'm in a situation at the moment where I'm not getting any intimacy :( I've been seeing my current girlfriend for 2.5 years and we get on amazingly well and are compatible on all levels. She also doesnt try to top herself or throw punches at me like ex's have.

So my situation is my girlfriend is in Borneo from Jan to October this year and the following two! so 9months of abstaining for three years on the trot. It is not easy, I've always been pretty active and on that front and I have a rather high sex drive but she is in the same boat as me that's the way I look at it.

Roll on mid September when I fly out to see her :D
 
When a woman knows she has something (sex) that YOU want - she quite literally has you by the balls. The price of her 'giving it up' has now RAISED in price. Look at all the 'romantic' things that women want, and men think of doing for their women that involves expensive meals, trips, gifts, you name it - They are all about a simple thing - A bloke TRYING to buy favours off his woman. And the kicker is that most of the time it never works. ha ha!

The trick is to feign indifference, and then they will come to you, thinking something is wrong ;) The moment a woman thinks you have lost interest and might look elsewhere, something goes off in their head that makes them want it.

Too many blokes spend far too much of their lives chasing tail off their women like pathetic losers. Its no wonder they don't get any.
 
Tummy said:
It's just a bit sad that sex, or lack of it is such a deal breaker. T'is all.

I'm not saying sex isn't important, but I feel there is more to a relationship then sex.
Click to expand...

Well of course there is, but sex is an important, if not vital part. It's the best way of being intimate and sharing something very personal with that person that you don't share with anyone else. If that person doesn't want to get intimate with you then it opens a whole host of questions, concerns and potential problems and can really affect the relationship.
 
Tummy said:
It's just a bit sad that sex, or lack of it is such a deal breaker. T'is all.

I'm not saying sex isn't important, but I feel there is more to a relationship then sex.
Click to expand...

I think you'll find we all agree... There is much more to a relationship than just sex. No one is arguing that point. In any relationship you have:-

- Interests compatibility
- Emotional compatibility
- Sexual compaitibility

The least important of the three headings would be 'Interests compatibility' as one would expect interests to differ between the two parties in a couple. For instance she likes Eastenders, I like Star Wars or whatever. This is fine and natural. Even healthy.

But the other two headings are hugely important in a relationship. So much so that we probably should almost completely discount the second heading altogether and give both Sexual and emotional compatibility equal importance.

You could I suppose break this down mathematically and say if your sex drives don't match then thats half your compatibility gone. Though obviously things are never that simple.

But the point is, sexual compatibility is of equal importance to emotional compatibility. Leaving someone because their sex drive is totally off kilter with your own is no worse than leaving somone because they have outright told you that they do not love you if love is something that you deeply desire in a relationship.

In either scenario the other person is unable to give you what you need. Be it sex or love.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom