Could you live without intercourse?

^TANK^ · 27 Mar 2011 at 18:59

dmpoole said:
Yes I did suggest that.

Then my opinion of you hasn't changed, I stand by what I said priviously then.

dmpoole said:
Yes I did suggest that but only because of the rather sexy paragraph she wrote about wanting to satisfy him but wouldn't be able to respond back.
After my post she went on to explain that he wouldn't want it that way anyway.
Sometimes you do things to keep the love of your life happy.
For example I had 5 Newcy Browns last night and wouldn't be able to perform but the wife was feeling frisky so I let her take advantage while I tried to stop the room from spinning.
It's all about give and take.

We will have to agree to disagree on that one then, as I think its wrong to put pressure on your partner or give out when you don't want to.

Castiel · 27 Mar 2011 at 19:04

^TANK^ said:
We will have to agree to disagree on that one then, as I think its wrong to put pressure on your partner or give out when you don't want to.

While I agree with you, I think that everyone if they are honest puts pressure on their partner on occasion, for those of us with an inherent respect for women and especially their partners that pressure is often very subtle and in many ways unintentional, but it is there nonetheless.

For those who say they couldn't live without sex, intimacy with your partner isn't just about intercourse, I have been married for 15 years, if my wife could no longer have intercourse for whatever reason, it would not mean I would stray or leave her, I love her for far more than just sex and intimacy in our relationship is not purely based on the act of intercourse itself.

You may want to think about that and how much you actually feel for your respective partners in a real emotional way before saying "no way".

Robbo · 27 Mar 2011 at 19:08

You cant just answer yes or no to a question like this, it comes down to your age/situation and a huge amount of other factors.

I probably could, but I'd rather not.

^TANK^ · 27 Mar 2011 at 19:11

Castiel said:
While I agree with you, I think that everyone if they are honest puts pressure on their partner on occasion, for those of us with an inherent respect for women and especially their partners that pressure is often very subtle and in many ways unintentional, but it is there nonetheless.

I know what you mean, I have been in the situation where everything is happening and then she'll all of a sudden not be in the mood and I will immediately dismount as I wouldn't enjoy it unless it was reciprocated. The idea of carrying on while shes not up for it is a complete turn off and in my opinion just wrong.

Castiel · 27 Mar 2011 at 19:17

^TANK^ said:
I know what you mean, I have been in the situation where everything is happening and then she'll all of a sudden not be in the mood and I will immediately dismount as I wouldn't enjoy it unless it was reciprocated. The idea of carrying on while shes not up for it is a complete turn off and in my opinion just wrong.

Indeed, but I was referring really not to your partner saying no at some point, but giving in to subtle pressure even if they are not in the mood.

It is something that happens in longterm relationships, most of the time you will not even be aware of it, either that you are doing it, or that they don't really want to.

It happens in everything, not only sex.

Deleted User 234324 · 27 Mar 2011 at 19:34

Castiel said:
While I agree with you, I think that everyone if they are honest puts pressure on their partner on occasion, for those of us with an inherent respect for women and especially their partners that pressure is often very subtle and in many ways unintentional, but it is there nonetheless.

For those who say they couldn't live without sex, intimacy with your partner isn't just about intercourse, I have been married for 15 years, if my wife could no longer have intercourse for whatever reason, it would not mean I would stray or leave her, I love her for far more than just sex and intimacy in our relationship is not purely based on the act of intercourse itself.

You may want to think about that and how much you actually feel for your respective partners in a real emotional way before saying "no way".

Completly agree with you, in a long term relationship or even marriage then yes if for what ever reason intercourse was no longer possible, you find other ways.

But in a relatively new relationship chances are you would go looking else where as part of building up that relationship is being intimate with each other. Obviously as time goes by you find other ways but at the start its pretty much nothing but pasty smashing.

Dinomania · 27 Mar 2011 at 22:56

Castiel - what a mature response. Thank you.

As for dmpoole - yes he was being cheeky but yes indeed one of the reasons I turn him down is because I know it'll be rubbish for him if I'm not coming along with him, as it were.
And he agrees, much like some of you said you wouldn't want to, if your missus lost the feeling.

When you have a lot on your mind it's very hard to keep it shut out, even if you have a boyfriend who only wants to get you excited.

GordyR · 28 Mar 2011 at 08:18

sara said:
I echo LordSplodge here - how do you have the time?! Or are they all quickies?

Nope, not at all. Though admittedly on a given day when there a multiple sessions only one of those will be a full blown passionate affair, lasting an hour plus. The rest are more just to bring each other to orgasm. If we only have sex once on a given day it will be a full session of course, beyond that it's just a form of release, albeit no less passionate.

As for how we make time. Well it's simple. We both have it very high on our list of priorities because it's something we both enjoy so much. When the task list for an evening looks like:- Dinner, washing up, TV, Movie... We skip the TV/Movie and use those couple of hours in the way we prefer.

Asking how me and my partner can find the time to have frequent sex is like asking anybody how they find time to play football, play a computer game, watch a film etc... You make time because you enjoy it.

sara said:
When you have a lot on your mind it's very hard to keep it shut out, even if you have a boyfriend who only wants to get you excited.

Sex can be a fantastic stress reliever... I'm certain i've read somewhere that couples with more active sex lives suffer far less from stress.

^TANK^ said:
Because he comes across like he uses woman and then throws them away .

Absolutely nothing could be further from the truth! I'm honest, honourable and always treat women with respect and affection. But i'm not going to stay with somone and pretend everything is okay if its not. Do you genuinely believe that being honest about differences and telling a woman that i'm not happy constitutes using someone? :confused:

Whats the alternative? Cheating or staying in a destructive relationship where I am not happy. Neither of which I am prepared to do.

Freefaller · 28 Mar 2011 at 10:24

I like it when women use me

Sex is great - and an important part of life. Can't understand those who aren't interested in it that much, but everyone has different tastes after all!

shifty_uk · 28 Mar 2011 at 11:30

I figured I should respond to my original question.

I do it, live with little, I mean and have done for years. Due to still undiagnosed medical circumstances for my other half.

It's incredibly hard. Especially being a horny/fit/healthy/relatively good looking young man, those who are regulars of the bodybuilders threads can vouch for!

But, to me, my other half is an absolute beauty and I'd live with a lot of regrets had I not stuck by.

platypus · 28 Mar 2011 at 11:40

Yep. I'm by and large asexual. I go through periods of intense sexual desire, but for the most part I can take it or leave it.

Hedge · 28 Mar 2011 at 11:44

It depends if youve been corrupted by a seriously dirty girl or not, If you know no different to a bit of basic missionary and the occasional oral session then you wont feel your missing much.

But when youve been ragged about the bedroom by a lady, you might not want to go without!

shifty_uk · 28 Mar 2011 at 11:45

Hedge said:
It depends if youve been corrupted by a seriously dirty girl or not, If you know no different to a bit of basic missionary and the occasional oral session then you wont feel your missing much.

But when youve been ragged about the bedroom by a lady, you might not want to go without!

I've experienced both.

Hedge · 28 Mar 2011 at 11:46

And I bet you would rather have with, than accept a life without

Dinomania · 28 Mar 2011 at 12:24

GordyR said:
Sex can be a fantastic stress reliever... I'm certain i've read somewhere that couples with more active sex lives suffer far less from stress.

'scuse the name change.

It may be a bit of a causality issue in the above - those with less stress have more active sex lives. Which comes first?

It is a great stress reliever if you manage to shut out the rest, not always possible sadly

GordyR · 28 Mar 2011 at 12:57

Dinomania said:
'scuse the name change.

It may be a bit of a causality issue in the above - those with less stress have more active sex lives. Which comes first?

It is a great stress reliever if you manage to shut out the rest, not always possible sadly

Fair point... But not so in my case, given the nature of my career.

^TANK^ · 28 Mar 2011 at 13:15

GordyR said:
Do you genuinely believe that being honest about differences and telling a woman that i'm not happy constitutes using someone?

If you bin someone simply over a low sex drive, then yes that seems a lot like you're using woman purely for sex. Your current girlfriend for example, what would you do if she wasn't up for sex every day? Or her sex drive started to slowly diminish?

^TANK^ · 28 Mar 2011 at 13:18

Freefaller said:
Can't understand those who aren't interested in it that much, but everyone has different tastes after all!

Don't get me wrong I love bunny bumping time, its just not the most important part of a relationship to me.

The IPB · 28 Mar 2011 at 13:22

It's not the most important thing to me, but it is up there.

Luckily me and the wife both have a high sex drive, so pretty much everyday we will have it once, even if it's just a quickie.

I would find it hard if she just said NO MORE.

Its_Me · 28 Mar 2011 at 13:25

hmm you missing the point.

There is a reason why Sex is AKA Making love, it is true closeness and intimacy.*
Your fooling yourself if you think you can be as close without it.

If your not interested in this, then your looking for a best friend, not a Partner.

{notes}
* not to be confused with one night stands or sex buddies.