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dacads

dacads

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Hi all, I'm an undergraduate student that is about to apply for some internships.

So below is my first draft I bet there's a few grammar mistakes etc things that could be worded better bla bla :p

2qlv77p.jpg


Yeah I just realised I've wrote about the SQL stuff twice :p
 
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Get rid of shop assistant role... has nothing to do with what you are applying for (this will allow you to expand areas that are relevant.
 
I've always thought the general rule of thumb for an undergrad is to keep the C.V. to a single page, then show your passion in your covering letter. I don't think an undergrad has enough experience to warrant more than 1 page. Plus, they're not going to read it properly anyway, so shorter is always better.
 
benjii said:
I've always thought the general rule of thumb for an undergrad is to keep the C.V. to a single page, then show your passion in your covering letter. I don't think an undergrad has enough experience to warrant more than 1 page. Plus, they're not going to read it properly anyway, so shorter is always better.
Click to expand...

When I was an undergrad I had two pages of relevant information... This has now expanded 5 (almost breaking into the 6 page mark!) :p






* I work in a different field
 
2 pages is the limit, yeah apparently 30 seconds is the mark

I'm going to try and keep it short as possible and to the point
 
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"10+" GCSEs? 11? 50? Why not specify the actual amount? And there is no apostrophe in GCSEs.

Under skills, the first 3 paras are bullet point style whereas the fourth (the football one) is more like a story. Stick with the bullet point style. The Java para would set better nearer the HTML and (hate "&") CSS one. Sixth para returns to the story style.

Under Work Experience, go with bullet points of your main responsibilities. It is far too wordy at present.

Under Interests, there is a word missing (presumably "interest") in the first sentence.

On the whole, it is like a wall of text and needs to be refined down to something a lot more concise.
 
Also, you should probably completely re-word your interests section. It is inconsistent in style and the bit about Fruity Loops allowing you to do something reads rather weirdly - as though at first Fruit Loops did not give you permission to learn about digital production but eventually relented.
 
For one of the GCSE subjects I couldn't remember if it was double or triple so I couldn't work out an exact figure

Yeah I kept re-wording the interests section but it still sucked
 
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This might be a bit different for internships but this is how I lay things out on CV's

Profile - 3-4 lines
if it helps this was mine from a few years ago and should change depending what the employer is after.
"A qualified Plumber with 5 years experience working in both domestic and commercial properties. Reliable and hard working with the ability to work well unsupervised or as part of a team. Quick to learn new skills, now looking for a challenging and a rewarding position in the Plumbing industry."

If they say in the job description that you need to work with other as well as on your own you should put that in you profile. Infact list everything that they are after/would be looking for in the profile/skills section

Skills -Bullet points, I listed 8
work
education/training
other info -eg driving licence, first aider etc
interests - I just listed mine
References - available on request This might be different for internships

IMO you shouldn't need to go into too much detail in the CV as an employer should be asking you interview questions about your CV. You just need to tick the boxes they are looking for *my opinion/experience

Good luck
 
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I would toss that in the bin and start again.

The skills section is extremely lacking in detail. I agree with other comments and keep sentences bullet pointed and short. You mention you can use HTML5, CSS, Oracle and a few other things but you don't give any detail about how you've applied these skills on your course.

Move the football thing to interests as when I read that it looks like your having a kick about with your mates which doesn't take a lot of hard work to accomplish.

Ditch the profile, this should be included in the cover letter answering the question of why have I applied for this role.

Your work experience is all over the place. The job I would focus on is the one in the hardware shop. Give the name of the shop and more detail about what you did. Knowledge about hardware and software will be vital in a web design company. For every job explain how you worked in a team, communicated with people (both customers and colleagues) and solved problems.
 
I'd say no paragraph should be more than 2 lines. The golden rule is if taking it out a sentence / paragraph doesn't make the CV worse as a whole, take it out.

Work experience should be Employment History, just put voluntary in brackets.

My education would be at the bottom.
 
My thoughts, as always with these type of threads take my style with a pinch of salt as it usually appears critical/confrontational, but it is intended to be constructive in terms of highlighting potential areas for improvement:

-Convert some of the paras to bullets
-No grades listed for your A-levels (the most advanced qualification you currently hold) sets alarm bells ringing i.e. I would rightly or wrongly assume they must be very poor otherwise you'd have mentioned them
-In the experience section the use of the phrase "in hindsight" is bizarre; it implies that perhaps you had not planned out your enterprise well enough or were caught by surprise [as opposed to giving the impression that you are well organised and can adapt seamlessly to any changes]
-You need to go over everything you've written again to optimise sentence structure as some of it doesn't read very well. E.g. "I have a keen in music production which played a part in choosing this course"... a keen what? Female associate?:) In general, it feels like you don't use enough commas in your prose, so you often end up spreading a single point across two sentences.

I would recommend taking a step back and focussing on the key things that your CV should be promoting in relation to the type of role you are applying for (NB I'm not suggesting the below should be headings):

-Relevant skills (HTML, CSS, Java, SQL)
-Relevant academic study (Multimedia Computing UG, ICT A-level, ICT GCSE)
-Relevant work experience (technical design authority role on Young Enterprise scheme, building and installing PCs)
-Noteworthy experiences outside of work (Managing football team, music production)

Get those things across in a concise and well-presented way and you may be in with a chance; at the moment it is mostly hidden away in the wall of text. Make sure you summarise them somewhere (e.g. covering letter).
 
"proficient knowledge" :confused:

You try really hard not to say "I" - you fail when talking about your footy team and how it's hard making people 'turn up'.

You mix tenses in the para before (presentation/communications skills)
 
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