DADS ARGHHHHHHHHHH

[Aruffell]

IT's official, i hate, loathe, detest my so called father.

I know a lot of people say things in the heat of the moment, but my father is the biggest **** alive.

I know that people go through life and there are some people that they just don't get on with.

Mine would be my father

I have freeview in my room and a big projector so i hardly watch TV downstairs.

My mum and him went to the pub for dinner and got in 10 minutes ago.

Since they went out, i thought i might as well watch a bit of teleport replay downstairs, then he walks in and tells me to sit on the seatee instead of the chair (his chair apparantly)

I'm needled at this but he does it all of the time, so i move, then he sits there and starts wriggling his feet around which i detest as it's right in the view of the tv, so i ask him to stop.

I get back "it's my house and i'll do what i want"

I then throw the remote at him and hurl lots of abuse at him.

Last week i wasn't even allowed to put a shelf up in my room because it's not "my" room, but his.

He's never been there as a dad, never went to parents evenings, never showed any interest in me or my 2 brothers lives.

He's drove 1 son away, and me and my other brother both think he's a swedish banker.

I'm sorry for the rant but i just need to vent.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Andy

 

[Aruffell]

Not just because of that.

He does sod all, all day and my mum does everything pretty much.

He read's the newspaper then phones up his dad and moans about immigrants for 3 hours.

He sits there and grunts and groans and when you say something he says it wasn't him.

If you don't do what he say's he says "fine i'll take the internet out then" even though i pay half.

He moans at me because i'm a growing lad and i eat more than him even though i pay for rent and food.

Just does my head in, in general.

If you're watching TV downstairs he thinks he has the right to kick you out of the chair you're sitting in and to just do what he wants.

 

[Aruffell]

agreed.

You should think yoursel lucky he is still alive, cos some people dont have a dad any more (one guess as to who might be one of them....)

Should chill out to be honest.

Although saying things like this is my house and my room can make people feel a tad insecure. But messing around is not the answer. Tried talking to him?

Mate, he's never been there at all.

I haven't had a "Dad" for my whole life.

Tried talking to him oh so many times and he has an excuse for everything.

 

[Aruffell]

I'm sure at some point everyones parent has done that. It's his house.

My mum doesn't do it, none of my mate's parents do it.

He thinks because it's his house that he can do anything in it, and that everything in the house is his including the stuff that i have bought etc....

 

[Aruffell]

I am nearly 19.

Whilst he may be acting like a bit of a numpty I have to agree with him.

I have a computer chair in the computer room. Two people are allowed to sit on it. Me and the wife. I get cross if my son or his mates sit on it.

I don't sit still. If anybody in the house doesn't like it they can go watch TV in another room. If somebody hurled a remote at me (that could do real damage) and gave me abuse for that they would be in for it.

You have a projector and freeview in your room? You presumably have a good computer as well?

Stop acting 12. Grow up or move out. Their house, their rules I am afraid.

You may not agree with me...

I have a projector and freeview yes which i bought it all.

Everything in my room i bought.

I was in the room, fine no problems, my mum came in, once again no problems, we was both sitting still watching a program in peace, then he came in and does little things like just humming or groaning

I have had many fist fights with him in the past.

He used to hit me and my 2 brothers when we was younger which i still don't agree with.

He then started to slowly stop hitting us but still did but in a playful manner.

When i was 15 i turned around and play hit him back when he hit me in my back and winded me.

I got up and hit him back and knocked him down, since then the hitting stopped.

He sits there all day and doesn't help my mum one bit and watches her slave away.

He takes 2 hours to go and get the newspapers in the morning (the shop is a 3 minute walk away)

He sits down and read's his papers and then falls asleep.

He then has lunch, then plays poker on the computer until dinner time, then has dinner, then kicks anyone out of the living room, then falls asleep whilst moving his feet.

Andy

 

[Aruffell]

Your what, 18/19 years old right?

you still at school? or working?

if you are working, you might wanna consider making plans to move out. For your benefit i mean. It will make your life easier in that respect, and most likly make your relationship with your dad better.

just a thought...

I'm nearly 19, i'm part time working until they offer me full time.

I can't leave home because i'm the only one who helps my mum with anything who suffers with bad joints and arthiritis and rumitism (sp?)

Andy

 

[Aruffell]

Your not the same guy that went mental because he wasnt allowed a lock, are you?

No that was Andrew someone who had a room in a garage if i recall.

I used to have anger classes because me and him used to have very physical issues as did both of my brothers with him, though i have never had anger issues with anyone else.

 

[Aruffell]

Does he have a job or is he retired?

He is disabled.

He is epileptic although he has 1 fit every couple of months if that.

He uses that as an excuse for EVERYTHING whether it gets him out of paying full price for something.

He also has selective memory, if he owes you money it becomes "what money" but the other way around it is pretty much burnt into his memory.

If i'm not at work i'm normally in my room and i get asked why i'm always in my room, he is the exact reason why.

I help my mum do the shopping every Thursday morning, as soon as we go out we always try to ring the house phone and it's always engaged because he is on the phone to random people moaning about illegal immigrants or the roads or the state of the country (why he doesn't do something about it, i don't know instead of keep bitching)

We then get in after shopping and he's playing poker like every day.

I tell him that we need help, and he just sits there and watches my mum drag the shopping in as i help.

ARGHHHH.

My mum has even said to me that if he doesn't change, she is going to get up and leave, frankly i can't blame her and i'll be right by her side as will my other brother.

I know that some of what i am saying is harsh, but it's true and it's how i feel.

 

[Aruffell]

Man, I am an understanding guy and sympathised with you until I saw the "knocked him down" bit, thats just sick and sad. All children who hit their parents regardless I hope they live a miserable life.

Whether or not hes the greatest father or his habbits drive your nerves crazy you have no right to judge him or give him crap. Im surprised he hasnt kicked you out of the house.

Its pathetic these days how people treat their parents, some children even age 25 get everything all from their parents but still treat them like dirt. It gets me so angry. After everything parents do for their kids, this is the sort of thanks they get.....im only 18 and I never want children heh

I only knocked him down because he did the same to me, i've been taught by my mum who i care for and love with all of my heart that respect works both ways and i've never had respect from him especially with the hits.

I've thought about when he will be "gone" and i honestly feel nothing, i may do when it actually happens but i don't think i will.

I have nieces and i would honestly give my left nut and right one for that matter to help them with anything.

My mum would do anything for her kids, even though we are grown, she would do anything.

He would, if it would benefit him.

 

[Aruffell]

I'm sorry that things aren't great Andy, but chucking remotes at him and stressing the situation more isn't going to help dude.

I admit that i did that in the heat of the moment, i admit that, and i admit that it was wrong.

 

[Aruffell]

Aruffell, instead of buying rubbish that you don't need, how about saving up then moving away?

You're angry with your father - whoopie doo. Welcome to the real world!

You seem completely ignorant to the most basic fact here: it is his house, therefore, it is his rules. He can do whatever he likes.

You don't like? Leave.

I used to have the same arguments with my eldest son. The solution was easy: he eventually grew up and stopped acting like a child.

I have more than enough money to move away but as i said above i'm the only one who cares and helps for my mum, without me, i think my mum wouldn't be able to cope.

He has ONE friend who comes over and my dad tells him a story that his mate told him last week and he will add 10 to whatever it is.

If he's mate found £5, then the next week my dad will say that his "other" mate found £20.

His mate looks over at me and rolls his eyes constantly because he gets sick of the stretching of truths.

Andy

EDIT: It's not rubbish, i bought a projector and freeview card so i don't have to sit down there with him.

I missed a program on TV last night so whilst they went out, i thought, perfect opportunity to watch it on Telewest Teleport replay.

 

[Aruffell]

That's rubbish.

Why not a standard TV, why a projector? How much did it cost?



The point is: you don't have to stick around and help. Just because you feel obliged to stick around and help doesn't give you the right to disrespect your father. Does it?

You miss the most important rule here: it is your father's house. Either put up with it, or leave. You can't have it both ways.

Why is that rubbish?

You can ask Matblack if you want, i bought it from him. I BOUGHT it, so don't know how that is rubbish.

Projector's are bigger and take up less room than a TV. I also bought 5.1 Mission speakers and 250Watt sub, is that rubbish too?

It cost very little, under £200.

Still don't see why that's rubbish though? Care to elaborate on that matter?

My dad used to hit us, because of that i've always seen this house as my mum's and i give her the upmost respect because i get it back and have never once argued with her.

Andy

 

[Aruffell]

Just been round my mates.

Dad often wonders why i'm either out or in my room, because it's to get away from him.

He phoned me whilst i was out, and asked if i had a key, i said no.

He then had a go because i didn't take my key, i didn't know i was going to a mates, i thought i was just going to get a chinese.

I said to leave the door unlocked as he don't go bed until 1am.

He said no blah blah blah and that i should knock.

He is kinda deaf so i have to knock loud which would wake my mum up.

After 5 mins of arguing on the phone, he left the door unlocked, i have just came in and gone straight upstairs

Other annoying things is that he goes into the bathroom, brushes his teeth and then closes the door which squeeks like crazy even though he knows that i'm still up, so when i have to go brush my teeth i have to open the squeeky door and wake my mum up who is a light sleeper.

Those who said i'm spoilt and that i bought rubbish and should have saved.

I could easily move out now, i have more than enough money, but as i said i don't want to leave my mum helpless.

I bought a projector yes, so i'm not spoilt.

Only thing in my room that was bought for me was my bed which my mum bought anyway.

I only work part time.

It's taken me 7 months to get this job, and if they offer me full time i'll take it, but they haven't.

I pay rent so i think i'm entitled to some say.

We was meant to be moving to N.Ireland but i stated that i was going to find a place and stay.

My mum cares a lot about her children and said they she wasn't going because we wasn't going as a family.

He then got the arse about it and blamed it all on my mum and said that she changed her mind and that they can never go now.

They can go in 5 years time if they want (which my mum proposed to do).

He got arsey etc.... and has been ever since that incident (a month ago)

Andy

EDIT: For people who said "he's your father, show respect" just because some of his sperm made me up doesn't mean he's my dad, he's never been there, and never shown me respect and just because he brought me into this life doesn't mean he should have automatic respect from me.

 

[Aruffell]

Ok, I won't repeat all the stuff from earlier except:

MOVE OUT !

Stop telling us how hard your life is and go get one ...... see how easy it is to live in the outside world. Your Ma will either be fine or not; you being there will not make any difference.

As you can see, I'm with the "you're a spoilt **** " brigade.

I don't know you and I don't have an axe to grind; I'm going by what's in this thread.

Kind regards.

Can you please elaborate on the spoilt brat bit please?

To me, a spoil brat is a kid who gets everything bought for them by their parents.

If this is the case, i am completely the opposite of this.