Danger! Relationship related thread inside

[mejinks]

This girl I know has asked me to go out to dinner with her. She has a boyfriend yet has asked me to go out for a meal with her next Tuesday (valentines day)

I asked why she wasn't going out with her BF and she said something like "the romance has gone a bit" and kind of skipped over the question. Now don't get me wrong, but I really like this girl and she would be perfect for me yada yada yada, but she knows I am single and searching.

Isn't it a bit inappropriate or am I reading too much into it?

She was holding my hand tonight in the pub while we were waiting to be served, you know the way that sickly new lovers do.. Then when I dropped her home, she kissed me on the lips. Not a snog, just a proper kiss.

I dont think ive fallen in lust with her but Im a bit

Shes a lovely girl who could do so much better than me so Im pretty sure im reading too much into it, but she continually compliments me and calls me "wonderful"

Tell me Im reading too much into it?

 

[mejinks]

The thing is she is a really decent girl. Properly brought up, well spoken and really sensible (training to be a teacher too) Id love to hit it to be fair, but shes someone I really respect so any possible relationship would be more than just physical, it would be for the conversation and good clean fun.

Its easy to say talk to her about it, but im scared of what she might say, I really don't want a relationship with her if she has a BF and is prepared to dump him for me.

From what I know, he is a rugby player and is hard as nails, but he spends little time with her and doesn't appreciate her skills (musician, teacher, sweet, innocent outlook) whereas that is something I really look for in a potential GF, oh, he drives a Fiesta.

And yes she loves the bimmer....

If she had asked me out to dinner on any other day.....

 

[mejinks]

man this is complicated.... Theres this girl I AM chasing who is really great but more my league whereas this girl is imho premier league with looks and talent. I think I am going to go out for a meal with her, I'll just play it by ear and enjoy our friendship.

I can't sleep thinking about it. Am I going to let her down? Will I be letting myself down by asking her directly?

How do I even start the conversation? It has to be at the end of the night in case it ruins the evening, but then if I've got the wrong end of the stick then bang goes our friendship (this has happened to me before BTW)

 

[mejinks]

Seriously though, I am not looking for a relationship with her. I just want to be friends and thats it. Ive no intention of going out with her, even less so where other parties are concerned

 

[mejinks]

What you have to understand about her is that she is not the sort of girl to use boys, she is for want of a better word a grown up. Shes the sort of girl your mum would like you to marry.

Alas I think im reading too much into it. However, it lets me feel better about myself. Since I've been getting attention off this girl, totally out of the blue another one who I used to have a crush on is suddenly very interested in going out with me ie, asked me to go out on every day and a bit persistant.

Am I missing something here?

 

[mejinks]

Only because you've told yourself that she deserves better than you, and that she is "not in your league". You've sold yourself short on the assumption that what you have to offer her isnt good enough, when it seems quite likely that she wants you.

Why are you selling yourself short when she obviously sees that you have so much to offer her. It's almost as if you don't want to make her and yourself happy? Did someone tell you when you were a Child that you didn't deserve something or someone?

I think you should take a big giant leap and let yourself be happy and let yourself have something that someone has told you, and what you now tell yourself, you are not allowed to have. Wouldn't it be fantastic to share all those wonderful moments with her, the two of you, sharing the moment, make each other happy? I can envision it, can you? Its awesome!

I REFUSE to tell you what you want to hear, which is that you are reading too much into it.

Thanks. I really vlaue input like this. I never intended to start this thread as a "im too scared to talk to her what should I do" thread, so I think im going to go out with her on Tuesday, ask about her life in a general sort of way and mention her BF casually.

I think something along the lines of "its so nice to get out and have dinner as a treat once in a while" If she says something along the lines of "lets do it more often then Im going for it.

If however the answer is negative or not as rosy, well, theres dinner with this other girl the day after.

Or failing that a night out with the girl I actually do want to go out with.

If all else fails Palmela Handerson still loves me

 

[mejinks]

SCHNIPP

Powerful stuff, I am not worthy....

OK, I will go out with her and talk about the fun stuff she has in her life like her teaching etc. As I will be driving, I guess it can't hurt to let her have a glass of wine or three

I'll go without expectations and anything that does happen is a bonus right?

I guess only she can answer the question that she feels something for me.

 

[mejinks]

Update:

Went for the meal. Talked endlessly about nothing in particular.

Instead of a card, I got a beanie camel called Niles. Future plans are to go to the cinema and other outings like Oakwood/AT/Blackpool.

Im far too confused to ask of its just a plutonic friendship.

All during school, I knew of her but never spoke to her really. Actualy not ever, so its really weird why she would want to bother with me.