Decision to make : Cayman Islands

[DAIR]

A company reached out to me a couple weeks back. Regarding a pretty good opportunity. I sent across my CV and received a call from the firm a few days later.

Long story short. I had an interview with the hiring manager last Thursday. The following Friday night I received a call to say they want me to join!

So what's the problem? Finding work for the other half.

My girlfriend currently works in childcare. And is on a very good salary. So far were unable to find anything relatively good out there for her..... Perhaps we're looking in the wrong place.

Why doesn't she just stay with me and chill whilst looking for work? This is apparently illegal out there. She could come with me on a visitors permit. However, as a visitor you're not allowed to look for or accept any job offers.

Being married would make things a lot easier. As she would then be able to jump onto my work permit. We're not a fan of this idea.

Anyway, I need to give the employer a decision today. I'm going to ask for a little more time as we couldn't do much over the weekend. The other half has been speaking with her contacts, to find leads... So just waiting to see what happens.

Keen to know whether any of you have found yourselves in a similar situation. What (if anything) did you do?

 

[Slam62]

Err OK... .

 

[Begbie]

Is there a question?

Also go to the registry, get married. It's crap, I agree. Archaic to need to do such a thing these days, but if it gets you what yous both want. It'll take 20 minutes and can be reversed.

I was a witness for a guy at work who done the very same. Made life easier to be married right there, but his wife wanted the whole big wedding at a later point.

 

[Biz.Kid09]

Presumably they are offering you a nice big raise to even tempt you to go or is this purely a lifestyle move?

I would reach out to the company and ask for them for assistance in finding a role for your partner. If they have put all the effort into offering you a role then it must be something worthwhile for them and so they would be inclined to smooth the process?

 

[randomshenans]

Get married, move there. Enjoy. I know people there, love it. If you don't like it, come back. Sorted. Great chance while you're young and fairly free from responsibility.

 

[dowie]

Being married would make things a lot easier. As she would then be able to jump onto my work permit. We're not a fan of this idea.

What is the issue there - if the relationship is serious enough that she's willing to move to the other side of the world with you and you're presumably living together then surely marriage is quite a sensible thing to do?

Anyway, I need to give the employer a decision today. I'm going to ask for a little more time as we couldn't do much over the weekend. The other half has been speaking with her contacts, to find leads... So just waiting to see what happens.

Absolutely, exploding offers are silly and often can be pushed back, they're going to be more likely to want to give a chosen candidate a few more days then hire a less desirable one or indeed start the process over again to find someone else.

 

[booyaka]

Go without her for 3 months and see how job goes?
Sounds like a great opportunity - As other say - if it's so serious a relationship and you really want to go, then either she goes with you and you get married, or go on your own for a few months and see what happens.

 

[Randomface74]

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[DAIR]

Get married, move there. Enjoy. I know people there, love it. If you don't like it, come back. Sorted. Great chance while you're young and fairly free from responsibility.

Not an option.

• One because I'd rather not simply get married to get a job
• Two I'm not sure whether I want to get married
• Three shes going through a divorce......

 

[DAIR]

Go without her for 3 months and see how job goes?
Sounds like a great opportunity - As other say - if it's so serious a relationship and you really want to go, then either she goes with you and you get married, or go on your own for a few months and see what happens.

Neither of us think that being apart from each other for that long would be a good idea. Things can be a little hard at times as it is.... With me currently living in Cardiff and her in London.

Anyway I was on the phone to the hiring company again last night. Just waiting for them to say something... Anything that would help me make a decision there and then. And I got nothing. I've woken up this morning with the plan to decline the position. I've told the other half this.. Thinking that she would be relived....... Wrong. She's now turned this into "You're making me feel like I'm holding you back" lol

I cant win!

 

[booyaka]

Neither of us think that being apart from each other for that long would be a good idea. Things can be a little hard at times as it is.... With me currently living in Cardiff and her in London.

Anyway I was on the phone to the hiring company again last night. Just waiting for them to say something... Anything that would help me make a decision there and then. And I got nothing. I've woken up this morning with the plan to decline the position. I've told the other half this.. Thinking that she would be relived....... Wrong. She's now turned this into "You're making me feel like I'm holding you back" lol

I cant win!

So already live apart, she's now guilt tripping you into feeling bad about making a choice.....What do YOU want to do - go or not? Make a choice for yourself here - don't make a decisions based on your relationship. Make a choice for yourself.

 

[Trifid]

Will your salary support the both of you? She could come over as a visitor and perhaps pick up casual internet based work (people by the hour etc) to provide some additional income while considering your options. You never know, you might not like it out there!

 

[Lopéz]

Hong Kong has a similar spousal visa limitation as I found when, I was job seeking last year. Marriage or trying to circumvent the law by using a Visitor Visa (not recommended) seemed to be the only realistic options.

 

[DAIR]

Will your salary support the both of you? She could come over as a visitor and perhaps pick up casual internet based work (people by the hour etc) to provide some additional income while considering your options. You never know, you might not like it out there!

Visitors arent allowed to look for work.

Yes I could support her. But then she'd have to leave after 3 or 6 months anyway.

 

[Lopéz]

Neither of us think that being apart from each other for that long would be a good idea. Things can be a little hard at times as it is.... With me currently living in Cardiff and her in London.

Anyway I was on the phone to the hiring company again last night. Just waiting for them to say something... Anything that would help me make a decision there and then. And I got nothing. I've woken up this morning with the plan to decline the position. I've told the other half this.. Thinking that she would be relived....... Wrong. She's now turned this into "You're making me feel like I'm holding you back" lol

I cant win!

Unfortunately it's human nature that she will feel like this. Reverse the scenario and think how you would feel if she got a similar opportunity.

1) You tell her to go for it, not consider you, just do what she wants, and she accepts. Chances of relationship damage or other fallout = high
2) You ask her to consider what she's doing, taking in to account the relationship and she declines. You will feel you have held her back, and she may feel resentment towards you.

It's a very difficult situation for both parties.

 

[Quartz]

How about speaking to your prospective employer? Maybe they know someone in need of her services?

 

[randomshenans]

Yes I could support her. But then she'd have to leave after 3 or 6 months anyway.

Leave and then come back. Could take a week trip home for a holiday and come back. That's all that means.

 

[DAIR]

How about speaking to your prospective employer? Maybe they know someone in need of her services?

They've already offered to help. A copy of her CV was sent to them and they've been sending it around.

 

[randomshenans]

That's nice of them, see if anything comes of it. If it's a great chance for you and your career, I'd still do the test of 3 months personally. I can't say what is best for you, but I did it when my wife was my gf. In fact I did 6 months and it was hard but so worth it for us in the end. All really depends on you guys though and what you want.

 

[DAIR]

I just hope I dont have this feeling of regret for too long.. If it does it'll kill off the relationship.