Dilemma

kinetic747 · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:05

My daughter has got herself into trouble financially thanks to a student loan she received 4 years ago. She decided not to go to University but unbelievably spent the loan over time on who knows what. She came to me in tears today saying she owes £4500 and obviously has to pay it back. I've decided to let her pay off a large chunk using premium bonds that her grandad has accumulated for her but keep this information from my wife. She has over £15000 in premium bonds but it feels such a waste, especially as she has absolutely nothing to show for the money spent. To be honest it has made me feel ill and I'm keeping this from my wife for the same reason. I'm not asking for advice I just wanted to share.

Diddums · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:06

Do it. Get rid of the debt now before it becomes more serious. Yes it sucks but it's a small price to pay in the long run. Trust me, talking from experience.

Rroff · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:07

How old is the daughter? unless it is an absolute pinch don't let her off like that - if she doesn't have a job there are loads of temporary Christmas positions, etc. that can go towards paying it.

suggestions welcome! said:
Do it. Get rid of the debt now before it becomes more serious. Yes it sucks but it's a small price to pay in the long run. Trust me, talking from experience.

Unless she learns from this one way or another - that will just leave her thinking she can turn to dad to bail her out of her own irresponsibility in future - unless there are extenuating circumstances or its really desperate she will more likely learn from it if he only goes as far as keeping her head above water.

EDIT: I know you aren't asking for advice - but watched my sister go through this and my parents bailing her out didn't really help her in the long term until she started to take more responsibility of her own accord later in life.

LOAM · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:53

Rule 1. Tell the Mrs.

Macky · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:57

Is this not a typical student loan where it can be paid back monthly for up to thirty years?

robfosters · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:58

What are the laws regarding this debt being claimed back?

robfosters · 26 Oct 2017 at 20:59

Macky said:
Is this not a typical student loan where it can be paid back monthly for up to thirty years?

Thats what I was getting at. I thought you had to be earning over a certain amount and then pay it off monthly. Unless proof is needed you actually attended university.

hornetstinger · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:00

If you pay it off, she might just do the same thing again.

Ayahuasca · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:06

Say goodbye to your missus if she ever finds out.

Slam62 · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:13

LOAM said:
Rule 1. Tell the Mrs.

[FnG]magnolia · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:17

kinetic747 said:
keep this information from my wife.

I'm keeping this from my wife for the same reason

This is a terrible idea for obvious reasons.

Bassmansam · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:22

I assume the same rules apply where she has to be earning over a certain amount before making the monthly repayments?

mjt · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:22

1. Tell your wife if you wish to continue being married to this lady.
2. Sit down with your wife and daughter and work out a scheme where your daughter can slowly pay the money back into her savings.

kinetic747 · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:37

She is 22, living with us and does around 30 hours a week at Next Home. I will listen to advice regarding telling my wife but it's not going to be easy. Like a lot of dads I am guilty of being soft with my daughter and this is the only subject that ever causes friction between us after 26 years of marriage, hence my reluctance to tell her. Everyone is right though, if she ever found out it would do a lot of damage.

hornetstinger · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:40

kinetic747 said:
She is 22, living with us and does around 30 hours a week at Next Home. I will listen to advice regarding telling my wife but it's not going to be easy. Like a lot of dads I am guilty of being soft with my daughter and this is the only subject that ever causes friction between us after 26 years of marriage, hence my reluctance to tell her. Everyone is right though, if she ever found out it would do a lot of damage.

How about charging her "virtual interest" which you put into trust fund? That way she understands that would be the money she would have to pay as interest.

Because if you loan her money interest free she doesn't learn anything. Only when she realises that probably 1 day in 5 is pure interest she'll learn not to do it again.

mjt · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:41

kinetic747 said:
She is 22, living with us and does around 30 hours a week at Next Home.

Why isn't she working full time? Loads of time left over for more shifts! Hell, I'd kill to work only 30 hours a week

Sliver · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:42

As others have said, tell the wife.

kinetic747 · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:47

Some good advice and I'll take it all on board, thanks.

Chris Wilson · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:48

kinetic747 said:
I'm not asking for advice I just wanted to share.

That was a wasted sentence then

kindai · 26 Oct 2017 at 21:49

Get her to take out a personal loan to cover it? At least then its a "manageable" amount each month she knows is going out of her outgoings and teacher her some financial responsibility.

Dilemma

Sgarrista