Divorce

[Lonewolf]

So this coming Christmas is two years since my wife packed her belongings and sought pastures new. It also allows me to apply for a divorce on the grounds of “Abandonment” which saves either party having to sling mud.
I’m not wealthy, but I do own my own apartment, wife never contributed to the mortgage either before or since we have separated, but I am aware that she is still entitled to half. Last thing I want to do is sell my home and lose all I have and potentially end up on the streets.

I have spoken with a family solicitor which has put me off applying because of what I stand to lose, but I also want closure.

What divorce settlements have you guys had to settle for or have you put it off because of what you stand to lose?

 

[Lonewolf]

Pension the hell has YOUR pension got to do with her?

Whole system makes my blood boil, it's ridiculous, you couldn't make it up

They can take a share of everything. Pension, car/s, future earnings, property, the list goes on.

 

[Lonewolf]

How has she supported herself for the last 2 years, this would be good evidence that her need is already being met and as such you can come to an agreement - are you and the wife on speaking terms?

Haven’t seen the wife since she left.

 

[Lonewolf]

Thanks for sharing your experiences and the excellent information herein. Unfortunately I’m still none the wiser in terms of which path is the best for me, too many variables on how things will turn out, not to mention the monetary cost of the process.

 

[Lonewolf]

If it was me I would speak to a solicitor, get the best and worst case scenario, then try and contact her to see what she would do. If you cant then start proceedings, the longer you wait, the less time you have to recover afterwards.

Problem is I’m in my mid fifties and don’t earn a princely sum so let’s say a divorce takes 12 months to resolve, it leaves me about 10 years potential earnings to get back on track...Bottom line is I wouldn’t be able to buy another property!

 

[Lonewolf]

Thought I would reignite my original post.

It is 5 years now since my wife did a runner, and I’ve proposed to my current partner, so I need to move forward with getting a divorce. I kept putting off going any further with divorce proceedings for various reasons.

I contacted my wife by email because it’s the only contact details I have for her, and to my surprise she responded. That’s when I slipped in the idea of a divorce, initially she didn’t respond, but after I offered to pay for her legal fees and a final cash settlement, she replied. She agreed to a divorce, but wants far more than my offer. Trouble is she knows I sold my previous property and made a decent profit on it. I explained that the money I got, paid off my mortgage and allowed me to use the balance to purchase my new home. The new property I am buying is 50/50 with my new girlfriend, so I don’t if my wife has a claim or not.

I don’t know where my wife lives, so I assumed from what I have read that sending divorce papers would be difficult, but I believe an application can be made to send the papers by email. All this is well and good, finding common ground on a financial standpoint may be a bit more challenging.

 

[Lonewolf]

The offer of a cash settlement was to stimulate a response because I hadn’t heard anything for a few week, it worked! A fellow forum member sent me a brill pm which filled me with the confidence I was lacking to make the next move. I have now booked an appointment to see a solicitor for further advice.

 

[Lonewolf]

So I saw a solicitor today, good news is the divorce will be straight forward. I did say that I wanted a clean break, so finances come into it more. it does not matter whether we agree between ourselves on a settlement, the court will decide if it’s fair. Financially I’m in the better position , but once everything is finalised I’m likely to lose all of my savings and a fair wedge of my small pensions.
Feeling very defeated at the moment especially when I wasn’t the person in the wrong.