Do you have family members you just don't understand? Or even like?

[Tykey]

Firstly, I love my brother, he's my flesh and blood. But I really don't understand him, mainly because of the way he treats my mother. We have a brilliant mum, I know people often say this about their mums/dads etc but honestly my mum has gone above and beyond to look after us, through thick and thin. My brother often talks down to her, never a card nevermind a present on today (mothers day) or birthdays or xmas.

If it wasn't for me putting a stop to it he'd be regularly literally screaming at her, and in fact in 1 incident when I wasn't there he put her in hospital when he slammed a door in her face knocking her over. I try to treat my mum with respect and knowing that at her age (76) she won't live a lot longer. I don't want to regret not treating my mum correctly. Our Dad died when we were quite young, my brother never got on with him either.

Honestly, she shows no favouritism. He doesn't even address her as Mum or Mother, he calls her by her actual name. It's a lack of respect. Not even sure of the reason I'm posting this, I guess I needed to rant as yet another Mothers Day passes with zero acknowledgement from him. Do you have family you just don't understand, or don't like even though you may love them?

 

[Tykey]

Yes... I have many family members that I don't like and IF they wasn't family I would quite enjoy punching them in the head serval times..
But sadly; we live in a civilized society where that kinda stuff isn't looked on favourably so I just try to keep my distance and grit my teeth when I'm forced to be in their presence.

In regards of your situ... do you spend much time with your mother? as much as your brother does?
It's easy to put up with a person if you don't have to spend much time with them but if a person has to be with another person for long periods of time then even the smallest habit/thing can be come a trigger...

I used to have to spend a lot of time with my mum.. I have never been physical or rude to her, but it was me that had to take her shopping, to the doctors and so forth. One of my brothers' didn't like the way I spoke to her and he said as much; as I admittedly was quick to raise my voice. Anyway; I've moved far, far away... and my relationship with my mother got better for it... now that he has to be the old that does all her chores; bearly in mind how much she moans when she feels that it's not done in the manner that she likes it, well... lets just say "HA!"...

We both spend a lot of time with our mum, we see her almost everyday usually. I have no problem with seeing my mum a lot, I don't see why he would. He just has some sort of issue with her. It must be disclosed, and I should have said this in my 1st post, that he is not well mentally. I've been where he is now with regards to my mental health and I still treated my mum with respect. He doesn't treat other people as badly as he treats our mum but he does struggle to maintain close friendships etc, he gets quite controlling and he tries that with us. I have none of it but my mother finds it harder to prevent.

He's not all bad, i.e. he's generous and usually he will help out by doing things like odd jobs for his mum (i'm useless in that way). He is given some leeway because of his mental health, and we do feel for him over this, but his actions cannot be left unchecked because if they were he'd make her life really awful.

 

[Tykey]

I've never really understood the "blood is thicker than water" saying, if your family members are ****s then they're ****s and just because you're unfortunately biologically related doesn't alter that fact.

By the tone of this post it may be obvious I have family members who are ****s, haven't spoken to them for many many years and have no intention to speak to them again *shrug*.

I have good friends and decided a long time ago that I don't need ****s in my life.

Trust me if my brother wasn't mentally ill I'd have a lot less to do with him, but he is. We're not close as it is, never have been. My mother still thinks a lot of him which I suppose is natural when it's your son. He is not well, I've been there and everyday can be very difficult. I'm not sure how much of how he is down to his illness or down to his personality / him just being him. Before he was ill he wasn't great with his mum but he's definitely worse since he got ill.