Does anyone else have no friends?

foster grant said:
the cat likes me , the mrs still talks to me....so all is good :)
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Add in 2 grown daughters at uni who still talk to me and that's me too.

Have a mate I've worked with a different places over the years who I meet for a pint 1-2 a week on my way home and an old mate from airsofting I see once in a blue moon due to having very different lives now.

The rest were either friends of friends that I don't see anymore or people that I drifted away from over the years.

Looking on the bright side, my wife will be able to cater my wake by simply spending £20 at Greggs.
 
I had a lot of friends growing up, I would finish work and go into my local and everyone would raise a glass and the bar maid would already be pouring me a pint! those were some good days, I even have my regular bar stool from the club sitting proudly in my kitchen as reminder of my cheeky past.

That club is long gone now, and so are most of my 'friends', some of them I really believed they would be life long friends but over the years they all moved on eventually, the biggest obvious culprit being relationships, the thing is though, particularly in this country I believe, once your in a relationship people just don't seem to make much of an effort with their friends anymore, I've even had it where being in a relationship people don't contact me as much, I ring them up and they are like "I just didn't want to intrude mate", "I didn't think you would be free", are people in this country not able to have friends and date at the same time?
 
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I have lots of "mates" but few friends, maybe 4 or 5. Best of both worlds - I have people who can be depended upon and people I can tell for **** off if needs be :)
 
I've always had only a small circle of friends. I know some people who meet someone once then suddenly class them as a friend
I've never done that, it's always taken a lot for me to class somebody as a friend and so the number has always stayed loww
 
I've always had friends and considered them very close friends, I now know they weren't such great friends after all, they all disappeared recently when I got sick, contacted me to see how I was doing at first, then nothing.
 
Same here, no friends since I left school expect online gaming friends who I have never actually met.

The gf has her circle and welcomes me into it but I prefer the dark seclusion of my gaming room. :p

Its half the reason I am reluctant to tie the knot as she wants a big fancy wedding but it would just be all her family/friends and just me and my mum on my side which seems pretty silly to me.
 
Kreeeee said:
even after a year or two of no communication nothing has changes between us.
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This bit I don't get. I can think of two very close friends, that due to now living a long way apart, we've drifted apart and neither make much effort to stay in touch. I don't think I could consider these close friends any more or we'd have both made the effort, surely? They both were single when we were good friends and both are now in relationships which consume a lot of their time too.
 
Haggisman said:
I don't think I really have anyone I'd consider a true friend any more, I used to have quite a few, but these days I simply can't be dealing with the inevitable time they let you down :p Perfectly happy with my own company anyway and I've always been fiercely independent to the point where I hate anyone doing things "for me". That used to cause a lot of friction with my GF but she's since realised it's nothing against her, I just don't like burdening other people with my problems when they have enough of their own!!
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I used to be the same until I learned that people get off on helping others. Yes its a crazy idea at first, but it's true. By letting other people help you (even when you don't really need it) and thanking them for their trouble, you've made their day and not the other way around.

I don't think the cynical act of 'favour accumulation' is as big a thing as it used to be. Anyone who does pull that card on me isn't gonna know me for much longer.
 
AndyCr15 said:
This bit I don't get. I can think of two very close friends, that due to now living a long way apart, we've drifted apart and neither make much effort to stay in touch. I don't think I could consider these close friends any more or we'd have both made the effort, surely? They both were single when we were good friends and both are now in relationships which consume a lot of their time too.
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Depends on the person I guess, some people need constant attention others are happy to drop in / out.

I only see two of my closest friends a few times a year but the fact that when we meet up everything goes back to how it was as if there was no time apart shows how good a friend they are I suppose.

It is a lot harder to make friends after school / uni, especially in unsocial jobs. Plus people move around a lot more these days so you really have to put the effort in at each new location.
Personally my job is all about keeping good client relationships so I'm sociable / friendly all day but after work I really can't be bothered and become a miserable sod. :p
 
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foster grant said:
the cat likes me
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I've got around 8 friends from the school days I still hang around with but that's not so often.

Been at current place of work for about 9 years now, and lots of people have come and gone from there but I'd only really call about 5/6 people throughout that time there as "work friends" and I've only really had about 2 become "outside of work" friends that I'm able to hang around with whilst not at work.

I just think a lot of people are *****.

With most of my friends from school, it's difficult to get them to do stuff. If I try to organise things it usually ends up with most people saying "no" or there's one guy who will say "anyone else going?" and if I say no, he'll say no. Which I take that as he's not wanting to spend any time with just me, so I just don't bother inviting him places unless I can get others.

Always get invited and go to stuff they organise though so it's not because that they hate me that they say no :)
 
hmmm, me and my wife have a lot of friends. I'm 30 and 3/4 days of the week we go out to other peoples houses.

we have quite a lot of hobbies as a group, we like board games/warhammer/magic/movies.

there's always something going on. (even going to a fancy dress party tonight)

outside of my close friends I'm a member of a few clubs which I also socialise with, car clubs, warhammer clubs and a games café I go to once a week on a sunday afternoon.


I'm quite social and seem to make friends easily which is odd because when I was younger I was so shy and socially awkward.
 
Found this thread quite refreshing as at 62 years of age I can count my friends on one hand and none of them close. Never found it easy to get close or trust people and I suspect that that was because of my children's home upbringing where i was bought up by a lovely lady but not really in the right job as I really needed a strong father figure in my life which I did not have for ten years couple that with a mother who was what one would call in those days a sl** and got married at least 8 times but of that I cannot be certain but I do know she let me down on numerous occasions that for far to much of my life I used women for my own selfish needs. I have met some incredible woman in my time but thanks to dear old mum I would/could not trust them.
Never really figured out that after being bought up in a kids home with lots of others that I found it difficult to make real friends in my adult life. One for the head shrinks I think.
 
I lost touch with my mates 27 years ago when I joined the RAF. Since then I haven't really made any friends. I have had several people I get on with but wouldn't call them friends, not close ones anyway. Since I came out of the RAF and been living here in Scotland the only close friend I have is my wife and I am her's. We are both 50 this November, have similar interests and can always count on each other. We like it this way and don't need anyone else.
 
lowrider007 said:
That club is long gone now, and so are most of my 'friends', some of them I really believed they would be life long friends but over the years they all moved on eventually, the biggest obvious culprit being relationships, the thing is though, particularly in this country I believe, once your in a relationship people just don't seem to make much of an effort with their friends anymore, I've even had it where being in a relationship people don't contact me as much, I ring them up and they are like "I just didn't want to intrude mate", "I didn't think you would be free", are people in this country not able to have friends and date at the same time?
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It's horrible isnt it? I'm reading this thread thinking :eek: That's how you live your life?!?!?! So lonely or you are only focused on your partner so friends don't matter?!?!?!

Just had a conversation with my best friend who is struggling to get people to attend his brothers stag because he actually doesn't have any friends. The friend he once had, who they fell out over 5 years ago. Died of leukemia 2 weeks ago :( So my best friend is struggling to get people who knew his brother to attend his stag.

It's got to be a male thing. How many times do we see the middle aged old man living back at this parent because their relationship broken down, they are probably fighting to the back teeth trying to see their kids because of the ex. And they have no friends to turn to for support or social reasons. So they become a heap of depressed mess. Yet their ex is carry on with life with the same friends they had for years way before they got into a relationship.

Makes you think who is really to blame with the rise of depression in men....
 
I have aspergers up until secondary school I had 1 friend but at school none. Now I have "contacts" people I can meet up with in the pub on occasion but not anyone I see on a regular basis.
 
I'm glad I'm not the only one in a similar situation!

I can't remember the last time I had a "proper" friend. I've had people in the past who I thought were, but turns out it was nothing more than a shared interest, and on top of it only contact you when they want something in some form or another.
 
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