Does anyone else want to hit people that say the following?.......

[Alfie]

.....When referring to an attractive woman:

*I'd smash that
*I'd split her in half
*I'd ruin her

etc etc.

Surely these things are only said by virgins with a penis built on a 45nm process?

I find it really offensive and i'm not even a woman. Whatever happend to being a nice bloke?

 

[Alfie]

OP you fail at being a man. Kindly return your penis to the guard.

I will do when you let go of it.

 

[Alfie]

I do actually say 'I'd smash her pasty' in real life now. Quite a few of my friends have started using it too.

It's funny to be honest. We've always come up with stupid terms like that.

"I'd put my susage neatly on the side and let her relish it"
"She can harvest my corn on the cob any time"
"She'd get a phone call, a date, a few drinks and then a dissapointing night and awkward morning any time"
"She can boarderline within my half-the-age-plus-seven rule any day of the week"

Yeah, I like all that stuff. I only dislike it when people are referring to women I know. I'm still one of the lads i promise

Perhaps you could try a little harder though, your ones are a bit of a mouthfull! talking of a mouthfull, can someone get meghatronic to keep his genitals to himself!.............it's really begining to irritate me

 

[Alfie]

OP is clearly a Gayer.

My girlfriend is right behind me. Later I will be making love to her whilst you continue to pretend you have a sex life by talking like a massive tit. I thought respecting women was an entirely heterosexual thing to do. Oh well, I kinda wish i'd never said anything now

It's not that I'm some kind of pure, god fearing stiff.......I just don't like people who have no idea about women talking about them like they're meat. If you wanna smash something or tear something in two, get yourself a pack of bernard matthews turkey slices.