Don't sleep with snakes!

EddScott · 10 Apr 2008 at 11:44

My wife came home last night and told me about a story she'd heard. Shes a hairdresser so I get all manner of gossip and stories largely about people I have no idea who she is on about. However, this little nugget got my attention.

A lady who was absolutely mad about snakes and owned a constrictor used to go as far as letting the thing sleep on her bed next to her. Anyway, on night she gets a fright as the snake has gone completely rigid and straight. She panics and thinks the snake is having a fit but it doesn't last very long.

All seems fine but again when she is near the snake it goes rigid and completely straight. This happens a fair few times over the course of a week so she goes to the vets for advice - thinking the snake is fitting.

Apparently the snake even does this straight thing whilst shes with the vets and he asks her to leave the room.

He comes out shortly after and apologises but has had to put the snake down. She gets obviously upset and angry but the vet says that if he had allowed her to go home with the snake its more than likely the snake would make an attempt to eat her.

This going rigid straight business was the snake sizing itself up to her to decide if it could swallow her!!! The vet reckoned it was setting itself up to have a go at her.

titchard · 10 Apr 2008 at 11:44

OLDER THAN THE INTERNET AND YOUR MOTHER COMBINED.

Rich

<EDIT> Also Fake. </EDIT>

RetiredGreyFox · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:00

Last night I was abducted by aliens who did unmentionables to me.

Spend_day · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:03

ok i have an (apparently) true story. when i was at high school my French teacher told us a story about her auntie (i can't remember where her family comes from now). anyway her aunt was sleeping during her lunch break at work one day and after awhile woke up and felt a warm sensation on her legs (not opening her eyes) she assumed it was a co worker putting blanket on her she woke a shortly after to find a snake half way up her body trying to swallow her whole but had got stuck

Snakedoctor · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:07

I saw a snakes in Spain once. Snakes on a Spain. True story.

Stonedofmoo · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:07

This story was on Radio 1 a month back or so, it was shot down as fake straight away by a snake expert who phoned in.

Tefal · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:10

How could you stretch a punch line across 2 paragraphs?

Ruined the impact,

"I had to put him down"

"oh was he really that sick"

"no he was measuring you"

etc

RandomTom · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:13

I had a dream the other night that me and my mates had to kill the snakes from Donkey Kong (SNES) with bits of wood and random stuff we could find, it was like we were in a DK level.

Kell_ee001 · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:15

Made me giggle

.Lethal · 10 Apr 2008 at 12:17

Why did I come into this thread knowing full well what was going to be said :rolleyes:

The story on Radio 1 was told better btw

ants83 · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:05

i saw a grass snake when out for a jog they are disgusting creatures

MrSix · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:29

I don't understand, how this is meant to be recieved....is it just a fake story, or a joke?

It reads like a fake story, but I'm getting the impression it's meant to be a bit funny somehow?

Spend_day · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:29

i found a dead adder once

Ukadder · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:38

Spend_day said:
i found a dead adder once

I'm staying away from you!

Mirage · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:38

I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO THE PARTY.
THE PANTS PARTY, THE PARTY WITH PANTS.

Emlyn_Dewar · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:48

MrSix said:
I don't understand, how this is meant to be recieved....is it just a fake story, or a joke?

It reads like a fake story, but I'm getting the impression it's meant to be a bit funny somehow?

lol, I didn't want to be the first to ask.

What he said.

MrSix · 10 Apr 2008 at 13:49

Mirage said:
I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO THE PARTY.
THE PANTS PARTY, THE PARTY WITH PANTS.

NO WAI, THEN WE CAN'T DO THE NO PANTS DANCE!

Robert · 10 Apr 2008 at 14:01

Spend_day said:
ok i have an (apparently) true story. when i was at high school my French teacher told us a story about her auntie (i can't remember where her family comes from now). anyway her aunt was sleeping during her lunch break at work one day and after awhile woke up and felt a warm sensation on her legs (not opening her eyes) she assumed it was a co worker putting blanket on her she woke a shortly after to find a snake half way up her body trying to swallow her whole but had got stuck

An apparently true story from someone who knew someone else...

[ASSE]Hinchy · 10 Apr 2008 at 14:04

I don't get it?

V3g3tto · 10 Apr 2008 at 14:07

I'd let the snake swallow me whole, would take ages for the stomahc acids to digest me, and i'd use it as a costume to scare people.