I wish I could just say "enable this, disable that, and it will work perfectly" but alas not. Working with HDR (or at least, working with some things in HDR and others things in SDR) seems to be complicated.
I've got two HDR capable monitors, an LG 38WN95C as my primary one (general work and gaming) and a Philips PHL 436M6VBP for watching movies.
The LG doesn't have a specific HDR setting in its own controls, it seems to be entirely automatic. When I do something that sends a HDR signal (e.g. playing a HDR video) it goes black for a second or so then comes back, and displays "HDR" in a speech bubble at the top right corner for a few seconds to indicate it's in HDR mode.
That's with the "Use HDR" option in "Windows HD Colour settings" left off as standard. If I enable that option then it runs in HDR mode all the time - and it automatically sets the brightness to 100%, which would give me eye strain in only a few hours.
The Philips one on the other hand has a menu option to enable or disable HDR. Since I only use it for watching HDR movies I leave it enabled all the time, and the "Use HDR" setting in Windows turned on for it. I'm sure that previously this resulted in the Windows desktop colours looking washed out all the time on it, but when I tested just now they look correct. I'm thinking this might be due to the version of Windows though, maybe the HDR support has improved over time. I'm on Windows 10 20H2 right now, how about you
@no_1_dave ?
So far so good. I use Media Player Classic Home Cinema for video playback, with the madVR rendered plugin. In that the HDR setting is "passthrough HDR to display", with "send HDR metadata to the display" ticked.
If I open a HDR format video file through that on my LG monitor, it then switches to HDR mode, and all the colour for everything (both Windows and the video file) looks seriously washed out. Once I double click to open the video in fullscreen though, the colours are then correct. It's kinda hard to describe how the washed out colour looks. If you want to test for it yourself, grab a HDR format video with really vibrant colour such as this one:
https://4kmedia.org/lg-new-york-hdr-uhd-4k-demo/
That should make it nice and obvious if the colour is correct or not.
Anyway - that's my experience with it, I hope it helps. Do a little testing, look for washed out colours or your eyes starting to bleed, if you get a setup without either of those things then you win HDR