Eneucleation

[Diddums]

Right well, here we go. I don't usually share this kind of thing but this terrifies me so here we are.

My the TL;DR (full explanation upon request) is that the tumour in my wife's eye is growing and it looks like the removal of the eye is the only solution. This has been on the cards ever since she was 6 so it's always been a case of when, not if. As far as I'm concerned this will be good in the long run as there's a chance it could spread to the liver and ain't nobody got time fo' dat. On top of this we both use up at least 10 days a year annual leave for hospital visits and the constant uncertainty of it being there has always been in the back of our minds.

Anywaysssssss, looks like time's up so it needs out. We're slowly coming to terms with it and have even come up with some stuff to make it light hearted, we're gonna call her Mike Wazowski, or Minion, or Popeye or whatever.

Now the hard part is that it's gonna suck, there's no way around that, and it's going to hurt like a bitch at first.

I want to make this as painless and support her as much as I can during what will be one of the most difficult phases of her life and that's why I'm here asking for suggestions. She'll need a patch for a while so I'll be getting all sorts of cool funky ones but as far as ideas go that's as far as I've gotten for now.

Anyone got any ideas?

Ta

 

[Diddums]

The floodgates for the jokes are wide open so have at it. Her eye looks like **** now anyway so a prosthetic will definitely be an improvement. She love Lego, maybe I should find a lego themed eyepatch or something.

Other ideas for eye patches are Terminator, and one which looks like it's got a spider living in it with the legs sticking out the eye socket. That'd be awesome.

 

[Diddums]

I imagine, like women I’ve known who have had a breast removed or lost their hair through chemo, she may feel less attractive or insecure. Best thing you can do is continue to tell her how much you love her, how attractive you find her and that there’ll never be anyone for you that compares to her and things will be just fine.

She knows I love her. It's our 10 year anniversary and I bought her a pack of those new tangy wine gums so we're good.

I was also just in the tub when I whatsapped her, said "beer, gogogo" and when I got out the tub there was a nice fresh Kronenbourg on my desk, so I must be doing something right.

But yes, you make a good point. My mother had a double mastectomy and it took her ages to get past the appearance thing.

 

[Diddums]

Are they going to be putting in a prosthetic down the line or is that not viable with how much is being removed?

Yes, full prosthetic, full movement, the lot. Doc says it'll look better than her current (messed up) eye, but then he's paid to say that so whatever.

 

[Diddums]

Picture of a raven on the patch, a cloak and a broad-rimmed hat. Spear optional. Eight-legged horse a bit difficult to find, but that can be explained away as moving with the times in terms of transport and using a car instead. Same goes for the actual ravens - nowadays a phone is better for obtaining news.

If she's going to town with the eye patch stuff, Odin's a possibility. The wise one, the knower of things...not a bad angle. Maybe just on Wednesdays

Nick Fury is a good contestant tbh. 'Cos hell hath no fury etc.

Elle Driver nurse outfit for sexy time.

Ha! This is a fantastic suggestion

 

[Diddums]

Other thing is... for something to improve the times she doesn’t want to joke about it.

I did a quick google but blooming searches kept coming up with stuff about fake eyelashes, so not what I was hoping to find.

Given the technology available today for eye scanning, or even just generation from a high resolution image.

Surely there must be a place that can produce a high quality prosthetic for a cost that isn’t absurd.

Ideally would have them scan the one that won’t be hanging around for much longer before it is removed... that way it would be as close to the original as possible, rather than approximation based upon the eye that’s steyeing (see what I did there?).

That could at least give her some semblance of normality for the times she would feel better for it.

If interested and can’t find anything suitable, drop me a trust message and I would be happy to have a chat with my Doctory friends... I know some good specialists who know other good specialists... so sure I could locate something for you.

Jokes are great and it sounds like you both have a great attitude about it... lighting up the bad times in such a way make it all so much better... but I’m sure there will be times where a moment of normality will be important.

Yep, definitely. Make no mistake it's going to be one hell of a rough path but the end goal is worth it as far as we're both concerned. This is a woman whose been through things in life that will put most peoples' problems in to perspective so she's a tough old girl but this is still a terrifying prospect.

As for prosthetics, no expense will be spared to provide nothing but the best.


Oh and thanks for the kind words all, I think I even felt my soul return for a moment after reading all the encouraging replies

 

[Diddums]

In hospital today, the quacks have had their round table meeting with all the pros to discuss her case and their conclusion was that they need to do a biopsy first as they're not entirely convinced it's cancer. Whether this is to genuinely try and save the eye or for research purposes is unclear but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the former: every single staff member we've dealt with here has been absolutely phenomenal, I honestly can't speak highly enough of Moorfields hospital. The only person who left a bit to be desired was the receptionist, she booked an appointment for today, then we got a letter saying it had been moved to the day after we received the letter, so we emailed the quack (we're on first name terms now, BFFs 'n errythang) and he sorted it. Bit of a mess but fixxored painlessly.

So now she has to take another 3 days off, I'll be there on the day of the biopsy but working the next two. Currently doing pre-op checks, watching Bargain Hunters in the waiting room, rather exciting stuff.

 

[Diddums]

Damn diddums, only just read your post in the other thread about hitting rock bottom.

Hope it all goes well, time/friends/family are a great healer.

Cheers fella, I'm pretty numb to it all tbh. The crap my wife and I have been through is just stupid, it's rendered us pretty thick skinned, it takes a lot for us to be affected by anything nowadays. She's a trooper that woman, always comes out fighting.

 

[Diddums]

Cheers all, it was a long visit today, 6 hours in total but it's a small price to pay for world renowned health care and the staff are all fantastic. Long road but we're making progress

 

[Diddums]

Well on Wednesday she had a sample of the tumour removed for analysis as the quacks aren't convinced it's cancer. Since then her eye is completely bloodshot, you can see where the incision was in the eye and it hurts like a bitch. Her eyesight is now restricted and she has to wear a patch most of the time. The worst is that this has highlighted how hard it's going to be if they need to remove the eye. Her depth perception is completely gone, she often misses simple things like pouring a cup of water. She's putting on a brave face but I've known this woman long enough to know when something's getting her down and truth be told this is bloody difficult to watch. This is also the reason I've cancelled going to the meet this weekend (@Feek I got your message mate, all good, really sorry about this but I hope you understand).

That all being said, the staff at Moorfields are absolutely amazing, can't speak highly enough of them. We have email addresses and phone numbers for the doctors she's seeing and they reply very fast. There is no doubt in my mind that she's in some of the best hands in the world and they're doing all they can to make this as painless as possible.

On another note, her skin has been itching for a while now and she went for blood tests at 2pm yesterday (for obvious reasons) and by 10am this morning she had the results. Too many white blood cells apparently, but they reckon this is due to the surgery she had on Wednesday so she's going back on Monday to have them taken again now that the body has had a bit of time to heal.

I must admit that this is a huge learning curve for me, it's extremely tough and I never realised quite how much of an arsebiscuit thins kind of thing is. I just seriously hope that the tests come back negative, we really don't need that wankstain of a disease in our lives.

 

[Diddums]

Surgery today. Got to Moorfields, she fasted over night, scrubbed up, put on those silly tight socks and waited. We must've been there for two hours or so before the surgeon comes in and asks to have a look at the eye before surgery. She disappears with this man for a few minutes and returns looking awfully satisfied. Then Dr Hay appears and takes us both away for a good time. Starts poking around in her, have a good look with his fancy eye inspection thingy, says "the tumour is shrinking". So he satisfied both of us at the same time, quite the gentleman I should add. She's made quite a few changes in her life over the last few months, she does 10k steps a day (which for her job is quite an achievement, make no mistake), eats healthier, quit smoking. Looks like it might have paid off. We don't have any concrete answers, the dr did straight up tell her that if she was a horse he would've shot her by now (worst thing you can say around a saffer, we have bathroom doors man!). He also said, for the first time since we started this whole ordeal that she might keep the eye. Naturally we're both extremely happy right now. Cancer is a tricky thing and there are enough variables and shades of grey to this whole episode to drive anyone nuts but for now we're just enjoying the good news.

Quite how we feel is hard to put in to words, but I think Terry Crews selling Old Spice on Super Mario to remixed Eurotrash music comes pretty close:

Today is a Good Day