Engagement questions

[TNGL]

1) Assuming you asked her Dad for his blessing, how did you go about this?

2) In terms of the proportion of gross annual salary at the time, how much was the ring?

3) How did you propose?

 

[TNGL]

Some interesting stories above for sure Her family is quite traditional in that sense and so I'd have to ask her Dad, even if it is old fashioned now. Her sister's husband had to do it and so I'm going to need to as well.

I'm obviously looking for ideas in preparation for my own proposal so keep them coming...

Don't get pushed into social norms (unless it's important to her) and splurge a fortune needlessly. We also had a small wedding with 14 people, about 12 too many (need witnesses), her dress was bought in a regular clothes store, it was white and looked nice, cost about £30 I believe.

I want a very small wedding, few guests except immediate family and very close friends. She wants a huge wedding. I'm sure we'll reach a compromise.

 

[TNGL]

1) I just asked her parents if I could go over for a quick chat one night after work (so they probably twigged on from that), just got straight to to the point and said I was planning to pop the question and knew that the Mrs would want me to ask you first. They were very supportive about it and just asked if I had a plan for doing it etc.

2) The ring was the hardest part for me as she gave me absolutely zero indication of what she liked in the months leading up to it. We had both spoken about getting married and it was pretty much agreed we would be doing it at some point (plenty of hints dropped form her and her friends). I tried to get her sister in on the act to give me some ideas, but she wouldn't even go looking at them on their usual shopping trips. I eventually just flat out asked her to help me choose a ring for her, tbh we're both happy we did it that way as she found exactly what she wanted and it saved having to run around getting it resized etc. It ended up being less than a months salary, but be wary as they can get pretty extortionate very quickly.

3) I planned a nice getaway to the lakes in one of those spa hotels with the intention of doing it during a scenic walk or a nice dinner, but then though sod it and caught her off guard a night or two before we went. She'd been at a friend's house so I got a load of candles, lit a path of them leading down the hallway and then spread them out in the living room to make it nice. I was waiting for her when she came in and popped the question there and then. Was miles better as I was comfortable, had time to plan what I was going to do/say, it caught her by surprise and we both didn't brick the whole weekend away anticipating the question.

Now we just need to get the wedding sorted, but she's just as hard work trying to get ideas for that too

I'm hoping it's as straightforward as that for me when it comes to asking her Dad. He's easy going but I'll probably be bricking it somewhat more for that than the proposal itself.

Thankfully my partner's given me a fairly good idea as to what ring she'd like, I don't know where I'd start if she didn't. The high street jewelers seem to be very expensive and so I'm avoiding them like the plague. Likely to go with an independent jeweler; just depends on the value they can offer really.

Hope the wedding planning goes well.

1) Asked her dad if he wanted to get married to assert dominance.
2) About tree fiddy.
3) After arriving home early hours from ploughing the side piece.

Noted.

 

[TNGL]

Seems like asking for a blessing is quite divisive in this thread. As others have stated, asking for a blessing isn't the same as asking for permission. He's also quite old school in that respect, plus I think it would just be a nice thing to do.

As for how much should be spent on the ring, I don't want to appear cheap. It's a representation of me and although it might be seen as willy-waving, I don't want her to wear a ring which isn't anywhere near as good as say her sister's, her friends' etc nor do I want to appear destitute. Simultaneously, I don't want to break the bank and spend something stupid like 25% of gross salary on keeping up with appearances. Hence, whilst I wouldn't get away with a £30 ring, I am jealous of those who have been able to make such a saving.

13th anniversary tomorrow

Congratulations

 

[TNGL]

Some very interesting stories in this thread. GD's diversity is shining through as always. I have to say though, these two stand out to me:

These are all true

1) We just said "We're getting married". Last year my youngest daughters boyfriend asked me and I cried. I'd always wished I'd asked my Father in Law because he was a wonderful human being.

2) It was 1980 so no idea what my salary was but she insisted on a cheap ring which cost £22. Later that year we paid £28 for the wedding ring which she can't get off her finger.

3) Seriously, My parents had come back from Nigeria where they had left me home alone since I was 16. My Mum started to be a proper b**** and my proposal was "I can't live with my Mum anymore, let's get married". It will be 40 years on September 27th.

1. No and it never entered my head too

2. Didnt have a brass farthing to my name so she put it on her credit card

3. I was going through basic training in Army and I had my first day off about midway through the course. We met in London as I didnt have time to get home and back. I told her my posting was going to be Germany and that I didnt want a long distance relationship , did she feel she could handle being a squaddies wife ? She said yes as that was the only way we would be able to give the relationship a proper go. So we went and found her a ring she liked and as I said she put it on her credit card. We celebrated in some Steak House but only had salads as we couldnt afford anything else. Context , I was 18 and she was 19 and had been seeing each other a few months before my training started. So when my training finished and I was waiting to fly out to Germany we got married and we still are 33 years later

Probably because of the minimalism involved yet both have stood the test of time and will hopefully continue to do so. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary @SexyGreyFox. Anything special planned for it?