ex-mate demanding money with menaces - Help!

[fanger]

So, where to begin. Sorry for this.

My old mate of 20 years or so and I have had a bust up recently over various things - politics/ lifestyle/ attitudes to life - it was kind of coming for a while but came to a head a week ago and many, many nasty things said, etc.

The point is that a couple of years ago, when I was going through an almighty hideous divorce, was effectively homeless, skint, etc he was very kind and gave me a gift of a couple of thousand pounds to see me through a very rough patch indeed.

Now, in the last couple of days, following our bust-up, he's started referring to that cash as a debt - and not a gift and demanding it. Of course my intention has always been to return the favour as soon as my own meagre finances will allow, but, with the recent bust-up he's taken it upon himself to demand the money immediately and, in a most unpleasant manner, with couched threats of physical violence and downright unpleasantness with emails/ texts.

I wouldn't give two hoots about it were it not for the fact that he has a history of mental health problems - which over the years I have tried to assist him with to the best of my ability. He has a couple of good years and then a couple of real bad ones characterised by paranoia and psychosis during which time he has frightened his ex-partner and children, and the rest of us and during the last episode was even sectioned.

Recently he has taken to seeing 'Mr Potweed" increasingly more intensely than his casual flirtation has ever taken him and probably that had a lot to do with our bust-up.

The point is I'm not in a position to pay him any money at the moment - i will be in a matter of months but the question is do I put up with almost daily threatening emails and texts? or do I take a stand against him now.
How to distract his obvious focus on me for a target of his gathering psychosis.

Or do I get the authorities involved or what? I'm at a loss.

Obviously I know I should have thought twice about borrowing off an 'edgy' friend in the first place but I was desperately poor, desperately unhappy and I have known him for over 20 years; I'd lost my home, my kids and my business during the divorce and he was a beacon of hope in the form of a couple of grand to get started again - something, incidentally, that i will always be grateful to him for.

Practical answers only please, on a post-card. Mindless "Be afraid, be very afraid" Comments keep to your own internal mail system because I already am.

 

[fanger]

The money was a gift and he made a point of stressing that at the time - I remember telling him that I had no idea when or even if I would be able to give him anything in return.
The point is I will - as soon as I can - but in the mean time his reason has become rather fragile and he's now just basically angling for a fight - which is very upsetting.

I lost my father to cancer only a month ago. The world has gone rather spectacularly and yet equally very subtly, completely t**ts up with this latest blow.

How do I get him off my back until I can give him the money and be done with it. I'm pretty heartbroken that the friendship has ended - especially with what we've endured over the years - but I can't face the nightmare of having a basically psychotic bloke breathing down my neck.

 

[fanger]

GODDAMIT I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!!!!!!

Thanks - that brought a much needed

 

[fanger]

Hey give me credit I could have easily done a ninja edit ,good to see OP still has a sense of humour all though he say in his OP leave the jokes out of it ...... That's my defence and I'm staying with it , as useless as it is

Thanks for all the advice, guys.
It's a hideous situation to find oneself in but a little humour here and there has a calming effect on what otherwise would be too hideous.

I know I've got the police route if it comes to it - and I sincerely hope it needn't do - and I've got the "Well, we were mates for twenty years - give us a bit of time" route too.

Thanks for all responses - be they intensely useful or, almost but not quite as importantly; frivolous and fun.
Cheers.

 

[fanger]

Agreed, The weed will be fuelling his psychotic illness, he will never get better unless he stops.

That's always been a running theme - trying to get him to see the link between the two - we have tried - believe me we've tried until we're blue in the face.

 

[fanger]

call his bluff, say something about his momma

...and with that the OP knew he'd had the cream of the advice he was going to get on the issue that night and that the serious part of the thread was probably over now...

However, he found he had cheered up considerably - which was nice.

 

[fanger]

Pint of squash?

I agree that 20 year friendships should not be broken down like this, will he agree to at least a conversation about the problems?

Absolutely - I'm going to let a couple of days go by and then make an approach.

I'd hope that you have some form of proof of these threats. Would help you a lot if it gas to be followed up by the police at all.

Email and Texts.
Hopefully it won't be needed.