Soldato
i'll try keep it simple.
elder family member called charlie has dementia and has for many years now.
they have 2 sons and no partners.
1 of those sons has 2 kids, the other doesn't.
charlie decided to make one of those grandkids have power of attorney and access to all their financials for various reasons. one being that the grandchild is just a bit more clued up with tech and the world so found it easier to do banking, buy things needed etc, another is that charlie didn't want to cause an issue with their sons, by having one "more important" than the other, so giving everything to one of the grand children made things less confrontational, or so we thought.
here's now the issue.
that grand child has totally stopped talking to this side of the family for no good reason. covid definitely didn't help with their mental state, but since they've decided that all the family has betrayed them, and no longer with speak with any of this side of the family. refusing calls, texts, visits etc.
the only way now to get an update on the financials of charlie, is to speak with the ex partner of one charlies sons (the mother of that grand child), who then acts as a go between, however they too are also heavily supporting the naughty grand childs behaviour, excusing everything they do etc, partly out of fear that if they don't, they will also lose access to seeing them and their young kids.
The trouble and reason for this thread, is unfortunately that there is money involved, and at some point in the new few years it's possible that Charlie may die.
What we've seen from the naughty grand child is things like
He purchases Charlie a new smart TV (was needed) however Charlie couldn't deal with the smart features and would get stuck, so rather than return the TV, they took the TV for themselves, and gave Charlie one of their own old old tvs. There was also a chrome cast 4k someone else bought and paid for (to try and simplify access to Netflix) which was taken with the TV.
When Charlie moved house, they were offering everything they had to everyone. Everyone was like "OK chalrie, sure I'll have them" knowing it'll be sorted by the group at some point, but at some point the grand child just took most of the expensive stuff for themselves without asking the group, now selling some, keeping others. Stuff worth hundred each.
Charlie often pays for them to go on holiday with their family, but with dementia, you have no idea if that was true. Anyone could convince Charlie now to give them the same thing 5 times over. For instance a birthday just happened, and they tried to give money after haven given money in a card, as they forgot. And after being told. 5 minute later, charlie goes off to get money again to give them.
Someone could easily take advantage of this, and the person in most control appears to be slightly from the little that is seen, and God knows what else they take as it's impossible to see the finances. They flat out refused to change bank to one that has online/app banking and you have to wonder why.
Now the thing is, realistically they can't be trusted any more as power of attorney, but with Charlie as they are, what hope does anyone have to change anything. What powers is there to take back some control, or at least, force them to be open about everything that is being spent and done?
Hoping maybe someone has experience with this and might know what is in place when someone with power of attorney goes rogue.
elder family member called charlie has dementia and has for many years now.
they have 2 sons and no partners.
1 of those sons has 2 kids, the other doesn't.
charlie decided to make one of those grandkids have power of attorney and access to all their financials for various reasons. one being that the grandchild is just a bit more clued up with tech and the world so found it easier to do banking, buy things needed etc, another is that charlie didn't want to cause an issue with their sons, by having one "more important" than the other, so giving everything to one of the grand children made things less confrontational, or so we thought.
here's now the issue.
that grand child has totally stopped talking to this side of the family for no good reason. covid definitely didn't help with their mental state, but since they've decided that all the family has betrayed them, and no longer with speak with any of this side of the family. refusing calls, texts, visits etc.
the only way now to get an update on the financials of charlie, is to speak with the ex partner of one charlies sons (the mother of that grand child), who then acts as a go between, however they too are also heavily supporting the naughty grand childs behaviour, excusing everything they do etc, partly out of fear that if they don't, they will also lose access to seeing them and their young kids.
The trouble and reason for this thread, is unfortunately that there is money involved, and at some point in the new few years it's possible that Charlie may die.
What we've seen from the naughty grand child is things like
He purchases Charlie a new smart TV (was needed) however Charlie couldn't deal with the smart features and would get stuck, so rather than return the TV, they took the TV for themselves, and gave Charlie one of their own old old tvs. There was also a chrome cast 4k someone else bought and paid for (to try and simplify access to Netflix) which was taken with the TV.
When Charlie moved house, they were offering everything they had to everyone. Everyone was like "OK chalrie, sure I'll have them" knowing it'll be sorted by the group at some point, but at some point the grand child just took most of the expensive stuff for themselves without asking the group, now selling some, keeping others. Stuff worth hundred each.
Charlie often pays for them to go on holiday with their family, but with dementia, you have no idea if that was true. Anyone could convince Charlie now to give them the same thing 5 times over. For instance a birthday just happened, and they tried to give money after haven given money in a card, as they forgot. And after being told. 5 minute later, charlie goes off to get money again to give them.
Someone could easily take advantage of this, and the person in most control appears to be slightly from the little that is seen, and God knows what else they take as it's impossible to see the finances. They flat out refused to change bank to one that has online/app banking and you have to wonder why.
Now the thing is, realistically they can't be trusted any more as power of attorney, but with Charlie as they are, what hope does anyone have to change anything. What powers is there to take back some control, or at least, force them to be open about everything that is being spent and done?
Hoping maybe someone has experience with this and might know what is in place when someone with power of attorney goes rogue.
