Flatmate issues

I personally would rather live with someone with door slamming issues than one who smoked, especially so if I had moved into a non smoking share, as advertised. At the end of the day you can either let this escalate by being pig headed over it or you can deal with your part of the responsibility (that of not smoking in the house). If you let is escalate then I would expect you both to be asked to leave.
 
I really can't stand people smoking around me, I think it's rude and anti-social... BUT in this case I'm on the OPs side.

Regardless of whether the flat was advertised as non-smoking, any non-smoker with a nose and a brain would have been able to tell that someone smoked in the flat the moment they walked in:

This means one of 3 things:

  • She didn't mind the smoking (obviously not the case).
  • She decided the low rent made it worth putting up with.
  • She purposefully decided to move in anyway, with the intention of making it such an issue that you'd stop.

If she was prepared to put up with the smoking, she should have raised the issue before moving in, either with you or the landlord. Obviously she didn't do this, so in my opinion she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

However, for your sanity, I would advise arranging a nice calm sit down with a cup of tea, and try to arrange a compromise.

You're in the process of quitting, so why not tell her you'll only smoke outside until you quit, but you would like her to stop slamming doors and try to keep the noise down, etc.

Regardless of what she does, keep up your end of the bargain for a reasonable time - say a month or so. If she doesn't change, then at least you know it's nothing to do with the smoke, and that she's just a *****. That way you don't need to feel bad about what happens next.

Hook up a ventilation system which funnels your smoking directly into her room - you don't want to waste any of that valuable stench.

Record her when she's making stupid noises, like hysterical laughing at the TV. Play it back at the most inappropriate times. Like when she goes to the bathroom, sit outside the door and just play it back on loop.

Record her and her BF having sex. Play it back at inappropriate times as above.

If the other flat mate is out for a night, "accidentally" set off the fire alarm at about 3 am. In fact, if he's away for a week, do it every night.

Keep all the toilet paper in your bedroom.

Keep all of the items you've bought in your room. Including the fridge freezer and washer. Get a lock for your door so she can't access them.

Find out when her BF is coming round next, and hide a pair of your boxers in her room, somewhere he's likely to find them, e.g. under the pillow or so.

Start wandering around naked whenever she's around (even better if her boyfriend is there).
 
Haggisman said:
I really can't stand people smoking around me, I think it's rude and anti-social... BUT in this case I'm on the OPs side.

Regardless of whether the flat was advertised as non-smoking, any non-smoker with a nose and a brain would have been able to tell that someone smoked in the flat the moment they walked in:

This means one of 3 things:

  • She didn't mind the smoking (obviously not the case).
  • She decided the low rent made it worth putting up with.
  • She purposefully decided to move in anyway, with the intention of making it such an issue that you'd stop.

If she was prepared to put up with the smoking, she should have raised the issue before moving in, either with you or the landlord. Obviously she didn't do this, so in my opinion she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

However, for your sanity, I would advise arranging a nice calm sit down with a cup of tea, and try to arrange a compromise.

You're in the process of quitting, so why not tell her you'll only smoke outside until you quit, but you would like her to stop slamming doors and try to keep the noise down, etc.

Regardless of what she does, keep up your end of the bargain for a reasonable time - say a month or so. If she doesn't change, then at least you know it's nothing to do with the smoke, and that she's just a *****. That way you don't need to feel bad about what happens next.

Hook up a ventilation system which funnels your smoking directly into her room - you don't want to waste any of that valuable stench.

Record her when she's making stupid noises, like hysterical laughing at the TV. Play it back at the most inappropriate times. Like when she goes to the bathroom, sit outside the door and just play it back on loop.

Record her and her BF having sex. Play it back at inappropriate times as above.

If the other flat mate is out for a night, "accidentally" set off the fire alarm at about 3 am. In fact, if he's away for a week, do it every night.

Keep all the toilet paper in your bedroom.

Keep all of the items you've bought in your room. Including the fridge freezer and washer. Get a lock for your door so she can't access them.

Find out when her BF is coming round next, and hide a pair of your boxers in her room, somewhere he's likely to find them, e.g. under the pillow or so.

Start wandering around naked whenever she's around (even better if her boyfriend is there).
Click to expand...

I've got to agree with this, there's no way I could live with a smoker but it's blatantly obvious as soon as you walk into anywhere where someone smokes unless you're a complete idiot which to be fair in this case may be her problem.
 
You really need to establish how the flat is being advertised by asking the landlord whether non-smoking was mentioned if you're sure it is indeed a smoking flat. Once you establish that then have a sit down with the other two and discuss things like adults, including both the smoking and also the others behaviour. A cleaning rota is a sensible idea.

To a non-smoker the habit it vile; it makes the whole house and your clothes stink even. But equally, if it is indeed a smokers house then you shouldn't be forced to change your habits unless you want to.

That said, continuing to smoke just to spite her is immature and ultimately the biggest impact is to your health.

I have to say that the girl sending in her boyfriend to have a word about the smoking was a bit cheeky. I'd have sent him away with "It's none of your business as someone who doesn't live here but I'll happily discuss it with your girlfriend".

Also why are you doing things like changing her lightbulb? If it was simply to get your light back then I would have just gone in there and taken my light back and told her to fix her own light.
 
See my post about urine discs in the other thread.

I've lived with ****ers like that before, real lazy ****ers who grew up never lifting a finger, you've got to break their spirit then retrain them. Negotiations don't work - you need to fix the mess their parents left when they raised lazy children incapable of running a household.

Aside from that, I mean as a smoker I'm considerate in that I will ask "Do you mind if I smoke in here?" when I'm in the car or whatever. And while I'd hope all smokers would do just that I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.
 
Last edited:
Haggisman said:
I really can't stand people smoking around me, I think it's rude and anti-social... BUT in this case I'm on the OPs side.

Regardless of whether the flat was advertised as non-smoking, any non-smoker with a nose and a brain would have been able to tell that someone smoked in the flat the moment they walked in:

This means one of 3 things:

  • She didn't mind the smoking (obviously not the case).
  • She decided the low rent made it worth putting up with.
  • She purposefully decided to move in anyway, with the intention of making it such an issue that you'd stop.

If she was prepared to put up with the smoking, she should have raised the issue before moving in, either with you or the landlord. Obviously she didn't do this, so in my opinion she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

However, for your sanity, I would advise arranging a nice calm sit down with a cup of tea, and try to arrange a compromise.

You're in the process of quitting, so why not tell her you'll only smoke outside until you quit, but you would like her to stop slamming doors and try to keep the noise down, etc.

Regardless of what she does, keep up your end of the bargain for a reasonable time - say a month or so. If she doesn't change, then at least you know it's nothing to do with the smoke, and that she's just a *****. That way you don't need to feel bad about what happens next.

Hook up a ventilation system which funnels your smoking directly into her room - you don't want to waste any of that valuable stench.

Record her when she's making stupid noises, like hysterical laughing at the TV. Play it back at the most inappropriate times. Like when she goes to the bathroom, sit outside the door and just play it back on loop.

Record her and her BF having sex. Play it back at inappropriate times as above.

If the other flat mate is out for a night, "accidentally" set off the fire alarm at about 3 am. In fact, if he's away for a week, do it every night.

Keep all the toilet paper in your bedroom.

Keep all of the items you've bought in your room. Including the fridge freezer and washer. Get a lock for your door so she can't access them.

Find out when her BF is coming round next, and hide a pair of your boxers in her room, somewhere he's likely to find them, e.g. under the pillow or so.

Start wandering around naked whenever she's around (even better if her boyfriend is there).
Click to expand...

This x9000 the serious advice should work, if not, i say go with his other suggestions, i think they will get the message across :D:D:D:D
 
[FnG]magnolia;25750036 said:
I want to learn more about urine discs.
Click to expand...

Urinate on a dinner plate, freeze it and then when the housemate is out, take the frozen disc of urine and slide it under their door.

Eat nothing but asparagus and sugarpuffs for 3 days for best effect.
 
I don't think you're in the wrong and I'm speaking from being a NON-smoker. You have an addiction which is a problem, she seems to act like a **** on purpose....
 
pitchfork said:
See my post about urine discs in the other thread.

I've lived with ****ers like that before, real lazy ****ers who grew up never lifting a finger, you've got to break their spirit then retrain them. Negotiations don't work - you need to fix the mess their parents left when they raised lazy children incapable of running a household.

Aside from that, I mean as a smoker I'm considerate in that I will ask "Do you mind if I smoke in here?" when I'm in the car or whatever. And while I'd hope all smokers would do just that I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.
Click to expand...

This feels very much like what's happened. The speed at which she goes from being "I'm being the calm adult one here" to literally screaming the flat down and hyperventilating suggests she's not exactly prone to calm debate.

I'm not even bothered about the smoking and won't be doing it today because I'm ill but I'm going to continue telling her I am until she realises that throwing her toys out of the pram and getting herself worked up isn't going to fly with me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom