For anyone ever writing a CV

[Carzy]

What an opportunity!

Not just any facial surgery mind you, facial surgery in the early hours of the morning!

 

[Beren]

To the OP (Beren): Any chance of giving my CV a once over?

No worries - I even promise not to post it... unless it's really funny ;o)

best email for me is j [dot] pearson [at] kingsuk [dot] com

 

[basmic]

No worries - I even promise not to post it... unless it's really funny ;o)

best email for me is j [dot] pearson [at] kingsuk [dot] com

YGM.

Would appreciate as little laughter as possible - besides my last jobsearch course provided me with that 'CV'.

 

[Aod]

we had a CV-writing course in school, and i think that we were told in no uncertain terms, no more than 1 whole page of A4.

 

[Carzy]

we had a CV-writing course in school, and i think that we were told in no uncertain terms, no more than 1 whole page of A4.

I'd say two pages max, I doubt most peoples CVs would fit on 1 page of A4 without making it ridiculously small and cramped. Maybe in school one page would suffice, but not when you actually have experience.

 

[5ingh]

5 stars

 

[Kyle009]

genius!

 

[Beren]

YGM.

Would appreciate as little laughter as possible - besides my last jobsearch course provided me with that 'CV'.

YGM - Hard to tell you what to change without knowing what you want to do though!

 

[Wang Computer]

My my, that's hilarious! It reads like a bablefish translation.

More please!

 

[Raumarik]

That CV is proof that it takes very little intelligence these days to get a degree

 

[Vtec9k]

I am the only skateboarder I know who can land kickflips, say that they have recovered from breaking the head bone twice, and have a chemistry degree.

A kickflipping, headbutting chemist. Who'd not want to hire him

 

[Hawk Tuah]

I'd say two pages max, I doubt most peoples CVs would fit on 1 page of A4 without making it ridiculously small and cramped. Maybe in school one page would suffice, but not when you actually have experience.

My CV used to be 3 pages when (like the OP's example) I was trying to blag experience.

Now mine is 1 page of a4, all bullet pointed, concise and to the point. A CV is not your life story. Its bait. If they want to know more, they can invite me in for an interview.

 

[Stretch]

That CV is proof that it takes very little intelligence these days to get a degree

Au contree. Maybe it's proof that people with high intelligence have all the common sense and 'life skills' of a demented chimpanzee.

A kickflipping, headbutting chemist. Who'd not want to hire him

I’d defiantly ask him in for interview, if only to see the click flips. So much fun

 

[DavidB]

Well they do suggest you make your cv stand out from the crowd
Im sure id invite him in for an interview too ! lol

 

[stumpy187]

Almost makes my CV seem so good. It covers 2 pages to the bottom but tbh is filled in with a bit of gibberish and doesnt really say all that much about what it is i do/have done in jobs. Mine needs a rework but im not currently looking for a new job now till after christmas and all the rushing around has finished.

 

[Eriedor]

Maybe it is an incredibly clever trick to get interviews, who would not give him one just to meet him. Once he's got the interview he can blag his best to get the job.

 

[K.C. Leblanc]

I do sometimes wonder if these HR types get people in for interview to see if they're as weird in real life as they sound on their CV.

 

[iamdjdz]

I think I'm going to send a CV similarly written to a job agency just to see if they'll get back to me. Only I can pogo and have had eczema and I hurt my foot at a karate lesson once. And I'm in a geography degree that I have trouble with due to people problems!

 

[Beren]

I do sometimes wonder if these HR types get people in for interview to see if they're as weird in real life as they sound on their CV.

Unfortunately I have just consicence enough not to invite him in just so I can hand him a loaf of bread and take a photo