For those who remember my post about the supernatural...

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Hi,

Some of you may remember me asking a while back for opinions on what you would think/feel upon encountering the supernatural for a story I was writing...

For those who are interested, seeing as several of you helped me in my research, the story is now complete and can be found on
http://www.fictionpress.com/~kimhua

The story's called "The Seance". Please leave a review if you have comments. :)

Regards, Dominic
 
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I didn't participate in your original thread, but I did read through it and was interested to see the result. I have just read your story and overall I enjoyed it.

It's strange really. Since I have certain beliefs about a soul and life after death; I found the parts about the seance itself really interesting (though I have to say that it went a bit Star Warsy in the middle with the lightsaber type scimitars!) For my tastes there was a little too much emphasis on good and evil & the praying to God parts with Holly and Jake were a little unbelievable for me (but that's because I'm Agnostic)

I still enjoyed it though. It was generally well written and flowed well. Slight constructive criticism would be that there were one or two parts where Rob's thoughts were a little stilted for natural 'chatty' thought. This part from chapter 5 was the one that really stood out for me...

"My friend, what is this madness in which you're involved? "

For some reason at that bit in particular you seemed to drop the more informal she's/it's etc and become more formal with "she has" and "it is". Might be worth just checking it over for that sort of thing to ease the general flow of the reading.

Otherwise it was really very good! :)
 
Thanks for the reply; I'm glad you enjoyed the story. It never even crossed my mind that the fight scene would come across as "Star Warsy"! :)

I realise that the good/evil aspects are very specifically defined, but that's kinda the point. :) As a Christian, I very firmly believe in angels and demons...

What was unbelievable about the praying, out of curiosity? Was it the language used/the fact they're praying/that they're answered by Sagiv's appearance/something else? I'm very interested to hear what you think.

Thanks for the constructive criticism. I've changed that one particular line to "My friend, what is this madness you're into?" Does that work better?

Regards, Dominic
 
Hi again,

Regarding the praying. First of all, I think it important to re-iterate the fact that I'm Agnostic. Though I will admit that I have stronger leanings towards Atheism than towards a belief in any religion. As such I find it very hard to believe any reference to an existence of a God. But at the same time I do try to keep my mind open to the possibility that there is a supreme being! Also, my opinions can often seem to be ridiculing those with a faith. Believe me it's not my intention to cause offence, I apologise in advance if I do so by saying what I'm about to say!...

I have always found it very strange when people vocalise their praying in the manner you have described in your story, it almost makes me feel uncomfortable if they do it my presence. It puts me in mind of a situation I found myself in when I was 14. I went along to a 'concert' with two friends (same age) what it actually turned out to be was a session of worship, one of my friends was Christian and I think she was trying to convert me and my friend! I remember being put into groups and then a woman I had never met before started praying for me (out loud) she expected me to do the same for her. All it did was scare the life out of me!! I guess Holly and Jake just remind me of that.

At the same time of course, if that is what someone believes in then I'm not going to try and stop them praying! It's just the way it makes me feel, y'know when you're in a situation you're just not feeling happy with? I just can't help feeling that I would like to be elsewhere. That's almost how those passages in your story made me feel, remembering my leanings towards Atheism, I almost feel sorry for Holly and Jake for trying what will ultimately be fruitless (I know that in the story something does come of the praying, but that is the reaction I had when I read your first chapter!)

I guess I also found it very hard to imagine 'typical' 18/19 year olds (I'm guessing they're that age because of the reference to lectures at the beginning) would be so devoutly religious. I know it's not impossible, but I would imagine it to be quite unusual.

The fact that your story revolves around the struggle between good and evil and the fact that you've chosen to illustrate this with spirits isn't actually a problem for me to believe because as I said before I do believe in an 'inner soul' and I do believe that when we die, our soul escapes the body and goes somewhere (I'm not sure where I think they go, but I guess it would be some sort of Heaven or something. I'm a little mixed up!!)

What I did find hard to believe is that Sagiv appeared because of a command from God which apparently comes in response to Holly and Jake's prayers. I guess it's just that if God does exist, in real life how often does he/she/it actually respond to people's prayers by providing something to help with whatever the prayee is asking for guidance about?

Of course, this is all whilst remembering that your story is essentially fictional. I've only said all of the above because it is based in your own beliefs and therefore, I think it important that the reader should apply their beliefs when reading!

Oh, and the amended sentence is better! :)

Sorry about the mini essay, I got a bit carried away. Feel free to ask anything else if you like! I find all this sort of discussion fascinating :)
 
Hi,

Thanks for the reply; it is very interesting to read of your views and opinions on my story and its characters...

I'm sorry to hear of your experience at 14; I can certainly understand why you felt uncomfortable!

Out of curiosity, may I ask if you know many Christians? It intrigues me that you would think it unusual that Christian university students would pray for their friends in the manner I described - such an instance of specific prayer, while not necessarily common, is certainly not in any way a strange occurrence in my experience. In fact, you may remember the "televised seance" that Derren Brown "held" on Channel 4 a couple of years back - on that evening some of my friends and I (all quite "normal" university students! :)) got together to pray for our friends/university/nation in a somewhat similar manner (praying for protection etc) to what I described in my story. Had you been with us you may have felt a little out of place perhaps, not being a believer yourself, but I trust you would not have found it weird/crazy/peculiar. Prayer is simply God's people talking with Him - no funny words, strange way of speaking, or weird rituals. Just talking.

Of course, my story is not meant to describe a "normal" occurrence, although nothing I described would go outside of what I believe could happen were God to permit it. The Bible does mention good and evil spiritual forces (angels and demons) fighting with each other, though whether they have swords is another matter entirely... :) If God was to allow a demon to visibly manifest itself, and then command an angel to do the same, for the purposes of revealing the spiritual realm to a specific person it wouldn't surprise me. It is by no means "standard procedure", but it has happened.

As for whether God responds to prayer, He most certainly does. Most often His answers come through His word, the Bible; a verse which particularly encourages or speaks into the situation, for example. Or they might come through His people; without prior knowledge a friend gives some encouragement/direction that is too specific to the situation to be mere coincidence. I've had this kind of experience myself; back when I was turning 17 I went through a tough patch in my faith, and one Sunday one of my church leaders brought a word from God - he didn't know who it was for, but I knew the moment he opened his mouth. He relayed a message I knew was directly from the Lord and I was overwhelmed with the indescribable knowledge that God was speaking to me personally, giving me words of comfort that were directly relevant to my situation. So yeah, God answers prayer. Of course, He doesn't always give the answer we want or in the way that we expect. And then there are the many occasions where God answers "spectacularly". I heard of one such example from a Christian speaker I went to hear several years back - one day he and his family had the visiting church speaker round for dinner, but happened to be completely out of food. He had been reading about George Muller, a Christian man in the 1800s who had a large orphanage. George Muller ran out of food for the children but would get the children to sit at the table and give thanks for the food he knew God would provide; minutes later it would come, for example by the hand of the baker who without prior knowledge of the need had felt burdened to bake extra bread the night before. Anyway, the guy I heard did the same; they sat round an empty table and gave thanks for food they didn't have. :) Almost immediately there was a knock at the door, and when he opened the door there was a huge box of hot food (chicken, rice, etc) on his doorstep. At the time he lived in the middle of nowhere in New Zealand - miles of emptiness all around - so he rushed out to see who had left the food; there wasn't a soul to be seen, no dust, nothing... God had provided miraculously for them!

The most obvious question after reading such an account is "Why doesn't God do that for everybody, especially those without food?" I don't know; I can't give you a full answer for that one. I simply rest in the fact that God is infinitely wiser than I am, and He has His reasons for doing or not doing things. One such reason is His giving of choice to us; much of the suffering, the lack of food, and other such needs is a direct or indirect consequence of mankind's selfishness, our choices. God will not simply overule us in every case.

Well, I've written quite a lot there... hope you find it interesting. Do ask any questions you may have, and I hope to continue the discussion!

Regards, Dominic

Oh yeah, and I'm glad the amended sentence flows better. :)
 
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