Friday Joke

Red and White

Red and White

Red and White

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
8,920
havent posted here in a while so heres a joke for you all to enjoy

>>>Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
>>>
>>>1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.
>>>
>>>2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?
>>>1st woman: I froze to death.
>>>2nd woman: How horrible!
>>>1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
>>>began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
>>>about you?
>>>
>>>2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
>>>husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But
>>
>>
>>>instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
>>>
>>>1st woman: So, what happened?
>>>
>>>2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I
>>
>>
>>>started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and
>>
>>
>>>searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet
>>>and checked under all the beds I kept this up until I had looked
>>>everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
>>>with a heart attack and died.
>>>
>>>1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be
>>>alive.

:D

probably older than the hills but i enjyed it. sorry for >>> it was an email :o
 
A father comes home and asks where his son is. His wife replies that he's downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father is curious so he wanders down stairs to see what his son is doing. As he's walking down the steps he hears a banging sound. When he gets to the bottom he sees his son pounding a nail into the wall. He says to his son, "What are you doing? I thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a nail into the wall?" His son replied, "This isn't a nail, dad, it's a worm. I put these chemicals on it and it became hard as a rock."

His dad thought about it for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagon." His son quite naturally said, "Sure why not."

The next day his son went into the garage to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. Just then his dad walked in. He asked his father where his Volkswagon was. His dad replied, "It's right there behind the Mercedes. By the way, the Mercedes is from your mother."

+44
 
both raised a smile, whats going on with the standard of GD joke's recently there's actually been some good ones :confused:
 
The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.



To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
 
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