Funniest line from anything, ever?

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Gilly

Gilly

Gilly

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Can be a film, a song, a musical, a public address. Pretty much anything you like.

Please keep your answer to one line (not like in music where a 'favourite line' thread gets filled up with people quoting whole songs that no-one else reads and the thread dies ;)) though explanation and preceding lines are fine, just don't run it on too much :)

Mine comes from Friends, and anyone that has seen this episode once will remember it. Delivery and timing is superb, and its no surprise that it comes from Chandler ;)

General story: Joey went out with a girl with a prosthetic leg, and when they went up to a log cabin he threw her leg on the fire in the middle of the night. He then ran leaving her to it, and Chandler has started seeing her. Its actually fantastically funny, whether it sounds it or not :p The line is highlighted in bold:

Monica: So, um, how was your date with Ginger?
Chandler: Great *clears throat* it was great. She's great looking, great personality, she's greatness.
Monica: Sounds like she's got the... err... whole package.
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg huh?
Monica: Uhuh.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out OK. I know it shouldn't have, but it did. I mean, I like her, I don't want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like "hey, you know what? Where's your leg?"
Monica: ...*cough*... (trying to not laugh at misfortune)
Chandler: I'm the smallest person in the world aren't I? The smallest person in the world.
Joey: Morning!
Chandler: Actually, he's the smallest person in the world.
Joey: Heard about the leg burning huh?
Chandler: It came up.
Joey: Listen, I know its a long shot, but by any chance did she find that funny?

I just know Freefaller will appreciate this :D
 
Chris [BEANS] said:
Another Friends one.

Joey has been conned into getting into a cupboard and is the locked in. The bloke who did it the steals everything from the apartment while Joey is locked in the cupboard.

Later Chandler comes home and lets him out, Joey explains what happend and then in an angry voice says....

Joey (Angry) "If i ever see that guy again i'm gonna.........."
Chandler cuts in with
Chandler "What, bendover?!?!"

:D
Click to expand...
Well Helloooooo Mr Lincoln :p
 
suicidle_tramp said:
@ Gilly, what Friends episode is that from in your original post?
Click to expand...
IIRC its 'the one with Phoebe's ex- Partner' which would be s3 e14 I think :)

[edit]

And I just thought of another. Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere on the 'net (whereas the one in the OP is from memory :o):

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
 
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