We all probably watched the Queen’s Funeral and, if you were like me, looked on with admiration at the military professionalism and the way in which the ceremonial events were carried out with such precision. It got me thinking about the few occasions I’ve had dealings with guardsmen on duty (in my time as a police officer), and some of the amusing stories I’ve heard.
Here’s a couple to start with.
A PC was a street liner in The Mall at some state event when a guardsman lining the route beckoned him over by way of facial expression. That wasn’t entirely unheard of as occasionally the guardsmen needed assistance in having something done for them they couldn’t do themselves. For example, they might ask for a bootlace to be done up or something like that.
So the Pc goes over and the guardsman snaps at him, “Take my place!” Then does a stamp to attention, an about-turn, and marches off.
The bemused Pc stands there for about 15 minutes, getting really concerned about neglecting his own duties, when suddenly and to his relief, he sees the guardsman marching back towards him. He arrived back at the spot, stamped to attention, shoving the Pc aside in the process. The Pc stood for a second, awaiting someone sort of explanation or acknowledgement.
The guardsman stared ahead of him without glancing at the Pc and just out of the side of his mouth, uttered.
“Now **** off!”
And that was it! lol
Very occasionally, the guardsmen need some minor adjustment made to their attire as they are standing there, and as they can’t do it for themselves, police officers are sometimes called on to assist. Re-tying a guardsmen’s boot lace was apparently a real pain as not only did you have to carefully do the laces up, but in order to make sure there was no excess lace dangling, you had to tuck the ends firmly down the sides of his ankle inside the boot.
There was an often told comical story of a police officer tying a guard’s boot, and then also having to adjust his facial chin strap, which had risen up too high. As the officer was standing just inches away from the guard’s face fixing the strap, a wag in the crowd shouted out “you’d better check his flies are done up while you’re at it!”
To which the guardsman immediately growled out of the corner of his mouth at the police officer, “Try that mate, and this bayonet will be up your **** before you can even get your hands down there!!”
LOL
Anyone else had any dealings with the royal guards on formal occasions?
Here’s a couple to start with.
A PC was a street liner in The Mall at some state event when a guardsman lining the route beckoned him over by way of facial expression. That wasn’t entirely unheard of as occasionally the guardsmen needed assistance in having something done for them they couldn’t do themselves. For example, they might ask for a bootlace to be done up or something like that.
So the Pc goes over and the guardsman snaps at him, “Take my place!” Then does a stamp to attention, an about-turn, and marches off.
The bemused Pc stands there for about 15 minutes, getting really concerned about neglecting his own duties, when suddenly and to his relief, he sees the guardsman marching back towards him. He arrived back at the spot, stamped to attention, shoving the Pc aside in the process. The Pc stood for a second, awaiting someone sort of explanation or acknowledgement.
The guardsman stared ahead of him without glancing at the Pc and just out of the side of his mouth, uttered.
“Now **** off!”
And that was it! lol
Very occasionally, the guardsmen need some minor adjustment made to their attire as they are standing there, and as they can’t do it for themselves, police officers are sometimes called on to assist. Re-tying a guardsmen’s boot lace was apparently a real pain as not only did you have to carefully do the laces up, but in order to make sure there was no excess lace dangling, you had to tuck the ends firmly down the sides of his ankle inside the boot.
There was an often told comical story of a police officer tying a guard’s boot, and then also having to adjust his facial chin strap, which had risen up too high. As the officer was standing just inches away from the guard’s face fixing the strap, a wag in the crowd shouted out “you’d better check his flies are done up while you’re at it!”
To which the guardsman immediately growled out of the corner of his mouth at the police officer, “Try that mate, and this bayonet will be up your **** before you can even get your hands down there!!”
LOL
Anyone else had any dealings with the royal guards on formal occasions?
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