Grassroots Football - So close to giving it up today

[Loki]

As some of you know I am involved in Grassroots football with my sons football team. I have done my coaching badges and made sure the kids have a safe and fun enviroment. This season we have made the step up to Under 13's and 11 - a - side. Is this team going to produce the next Ronaldo or Messi ?? Probably not. We are in the 4th division, we have had promotions, we have had relegations. All in all a great bunch of kids and parents who stick together.

Today left a real bitter taste in the mouth and I was so close to walking away from it all. An evenly contested game with no malice and played in the right spirit by the kids. Ref was a no show so I agreed with the other manager one of our parents would ref the match.

Five minutes in, and every single decision was being heckled and called by their parents. So this went on for the remainder of the half and our parent went over and said listen guys there is no bias here. So the match carries on and we are leading 3-1 with two minutes to go and a 50/50 decision got called in our favour. Next thing all hell breaks loose. All their coaches are on the pitch dragging their kids off and they take the decision to abandon the game. All of the coaches and parents then surround our parent and start threatning him. Calling him a cheating manc **** etc etc

I get our kids over to their parents and walk over to the incident and then one of their parents runs onto the pitch 'GET OVER TO YOUR OWN ******* LINE NOW YOU ******* So and So' right in front of their own kids. Hang on mate i'm just trying to difuse the situation. 'GET OVER TO YOUR OWN ******* LINE NOW YOU ******* So and So'

And so this goes on. Opposite team refusing to sign the match card. Parents threatening our parent. The worse part is when he is shouting, You better go over to your own line you manc **** before I knock you out in front of the kids to teach them a lesson they could learn from.

As I say the kids played it in the right spirit. My opinion is that by taking the kids off as a show of protest, they cheated their own kids. All they will remember from this game is how it ended and they will take nothing from how well the played.

Is it anywonder that there is less and less kids coming through the football system or the referee system with scenes like this. As much as I love giving my time up for this to spend some time with my boy doing organised sport, I look at days like this and think do I want him seeing this kind of crap.

No problem with competitve sport but this goes beyond the pale.

#spleenvented

 

[Loki]

Is it possible for a parent to be neutral though? the Premier League/Football League won't allow referees with any affinity to a club to referee them because in all likelihood they will give 50/50 decisions the way of their bias. I'm not defending the parents actions but they must have perceived the referee to be extremely biased to have reached that stage of anger.

I'd blame the referee for letting everybody down and if it ever happens again just agree to sign for a draw and play a friendly?

I agree that probably any parent can't be entirely without bias if asked to step in to ref a game.

Without sounding a jobsworth their was a ref allocated but didnt turn up. In that case, its the responsibility of the home team to get a referee according to the league rules.

 

[Loki]

Given the context sadly (assuming someone would have stepped up) the better option would be to have a parent from each side ref a half each.

Agreed and again this is where commonsense does not prevail. Rules from the County FA say it's got to be the same ref for both halfs unless injured

 

[Loki]

Id guess at 3-1 up and with a 50/50 challenge maybe he should call the right decision for the sake of the game.

Out of curiosity if it was 50/50 why did he call for his own team. It's obviously pushed the crowd over the edge as pathetic as it sounds. But could it have been handled better say he had just given them the decision?

50/50 decision as in it was an offside decision not 50/50 challenge. The game could have gone either way being honest. We were 3-1 up and they hit the post twice. We had a goal ruled offside when I was convinced he was on.

As a team we have been on the wrong end of a few decisions over the years but you hope for some perspective. For every decision that goes against you, you hope that you get one the other way. A lot of lads out their reffing the game are 14,15,16 years old. It's some money in their back pocket. £25.00 for reffing a sunday park game.

You see maybe ten youth referee's and you get a broad spectrum. There is the the odd stand out one. One who is assertive and commands respect and even at an early age is very rarely swayed by the crowing parents on both sides. then yuo get the six who really are their just for money. The other four you can see are being pushed by their own parents.

The problem is when you face teams like this, the weak referees will often award the wrong decision because of crowd pressure and fear. When they hit fifteen they get to the point where enough is enough and just walk away.

As I say, you get caught up in the heat of the moment sometimes but you have to try and remember why you are their. For me it's simple

- Time with my own Son
- Structured Sporting Activity ( I Can't think of a bad thing about this)
- Giving a broad spectrum of kids some skills to take into future life

Last weekend we got beat 1-0. The opposition got a hotly disputed penalty 5 minutes into 'Injury Time' in 1st half. The only chance they made in all honesty. At the end of the game my lads measure of success is win=Success lose=Failure. All of them gutted.

Despite telling them they did pretty much everything right other than panic in the final 3rd and rush their shots, it was a cracking performance. Some coaches hammer them some try and nurture them. As much as I praise them when they win, I make sure that they know it was them who kicked every ball, Im just their for guidance. When they lose, it's also their responsibility for the most part.