Growing your social circle - Rural area.

SideWinder

SideWinder

SideWinder

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Joined
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Hey all,

This is related to my brother who wants to try and grow his social circle a bit.

I wanted to see if you all had other ideas besides what I suggested:

- MeetUp app and searching for groups in the larger cities close by
- Joining classes at the local gym
- Signing up to volunteer at festivals (summer approaching)
- Reaching out to old school friends and going for a drink/watch the football

Closest big area is Brighton so I've suggested heading to that area more.

Any other ideas?
 
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Kinda relevant as I moved to a rural area when I came back to the UK after living in big cities for a long time.

Unfortunately a huge amount of rural social revolves around drinking, so if you don't do that much, it kinda limits your options. I did join the local rugby team and went on the smash with them a few times which is good craic as always but I don't really enjoy playing anymore and don't like drinking much.

I've ended up just socialising with my mountaineering club, see them several times a week down the climbing wall or on trips at weekend. Don't know anyone in the village still, not really bothered tbh.
 
I've actually found meetup to be worse in big towns and better in small.

In Stamford, lincs it was great. In Monmouth there is a vibrant group. But in Cardiff its a sausage fest of mainly guys looking for girls. It's just "drinking". I joined the group chat. And it's just "drinking".


I'd add to the list look for Facebook groups with hobbies too. I've joined a MTB group and it's looking like I'm making progress. Just a few plums at the moment. But I'm Hoping it bears better fruit as time goes on. Maybe a mango.or 2.

It is a chore making friends if you aren't into "drinking". Especially when you're older
 
I live in Stafford, so more urban than the OP's bro, but I'm interested too.

On the internet, I did quite well on forums, especially clubbing forums. These have all dried up now as forums is a dying breed, and I don't have any luck on the Facebook equivalents as people on Facebook don't seem to be interested in meeting up. I did quite well on World of Warcraft too, meeting up with people from the UK and also in Germany (and actually been there too). Last time I played it though, in 2014, the community spirit and small talk was gone.
 
413x said:
I'd add to the list look for Facebook groups with hobbies too. I've joined a MTB group and it's looking like I'm making progress. Just a few plums at the moment. But I'm Hoping it bears better fruit as time goes on. Maybe a mango.or 2.

It is a chore making friends if you aren't into "drinking". Especially when you're older
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I'd probably say this is best, even if you're not actively socialising with people outside of group activities, you're still getting involved in group events. Especially if running/cycling.

I guess it's trickier if he's not active as that's where most "meet up in person" group events will tend to be. Maybe a local walking group as that's something most people are capable of doing :)
 
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Bassmansam said:
does your brother have any friends currently?

What are his interests?
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This is part of the issue, very few if any friends and he is still working out his interests. He started football which is good but I said that social groups eg Meetup, are better if there is a specific interest or hobby. Even trying something more.
 
SideWinder said:
This is part of the issue, very few if any friends and he is still working out his interests. He started football which is good but I said that social groups eg Meetup, are better if there is a specific interest or hobby. Even trying something more.
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Definitely. Try Facebook. More groups on there than meetup. It's a it always easy searching for them.

The 20/30s type groups can be OK on meetup. But they can be super boring.
 
413x said:
Definitely. Try Facebook. More groups on there than meetup. It's a it always easy searching for them.

The 20/30s type groups can be OK on meetup. But they can be super boring.
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Problem with Facebook is that in order to be active on there these days, you need to have had an icepick lobotomy. It's an absolute sewer, so the people you meet on there come from this increasingly small subset of the population that can actually stand to use it. Meetup is a little better, but again, you are dealing with a small subset of the population that have resorted to a website to find friends......

Your best bet to meet actual normal human beings is to join organisations that existed before/outside social media. Sports/outdoors clubs being the main one.
 
mid_gen said:
Problem with Facebook is that in order to be active on there these days, you need to have had an icepick lobotomy. It's an absolute sewer, so the people you meet on there come from this increasingly small subset of the population that can actually stand to use it. Meetup is a little better, but again, you are dealing with a small subset of the population that have resorted to a website to find friends......

Your best bet to meet actual normal human beings is to join organisations that existed before/outside social media. Sports/outdoors clubs being the main one.
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Not sure I agree.

The groups I'm in only exist on social media outwardly. There's no way I would have found them without Facebook.

Facebook has its flaws, and is full of tat, but it also has its uses.

I've found meetup isn't as good. Groups start, don't gain traction and stop. It's also expensive for organisers.


The Facebook groups have people who like what they do already. It's good for organising events. And a great platform for getting newbies into a social circle without having to jump right in and fully commit.

Its great for adhoc events too. Where someone can put on "does anyone want to go to X on Y date"
Social WhatsApp type chats are a little too much into the personal space I find for new people.


Also, Facebook is quite popular for 30s-40s.
 
413x said:
Not sure I agree.

The groups I'm in only exist on social media outwardly. There's no way I would have found them without Facebook.

Facebook has its flaws, and is full of tat, but it also has its uses.

I've found meetup isn't as good. Groups start, don't gain traction and stop. It's also expensive for organisers.


The Facebook groups have people who like what they do already. It's good for organising events. And a great platform for getting newbies into a social circle without having to jump right in and fully commit.

Its great for adhoc events too. Where someone can put on "does anyone want to go to X on Y date"
Social WhatsApp type chats are a little too much into the personal space I find for new people.
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Oh no, you're one of the weird Facebook people aren't you? I bet you still post updates on there and comment on LADBIBLE videos :(
413x said:
Also, Facebook is quite popular for 30s-40s.
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If you're weird.
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
I live in Stafford, so more urban than the OP's bro, but I'm interested too.

On the internet, I did quite well on forums, especially clubbing forums. These have all dried up now as forums is a dying breed, and I don't have any luck on the Facebook equivalents as people on Facebook don't seem to be interested in meeting up. I did quite well on World of Warcraft too, meeting up with people from the UK and also in Germany (and actually been there too). Last time I played it though, in 2014, the community spirit and small talk was gone.
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I'm in Stone and run alittlebitofstone.com We have very active social media accounts, as well as a FB group for Activites, Hobbies and Groups. Do you ever venture this way?
 
mid_gen said:
Oh no, you're one of the weird Facebook people aren't you? I bet you still post updates on there and comment on LADBIBLE videos :(

If you're weird.
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Ha no.
I use it exclusively for groups.

I've found it invaluable for advice on niche subjects.

The walking in Wales is great for finding new places to go.
Chicken group has many people who know a lot and has saved me much money in vet bills.
I buy new plants from individuals in group much cheaper than retail.
No way I'd have found my MTB group without Facebook. They have no other online presence.
I enjoy seeing peoples pics on various nature groups.


Overall I find it a useful resource once you get it filtered to groups as much as possible
 
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413x said:
Ha no.
I use it exclusively for groups.

I've found it invaluable for advice on niche subjects.

The walking in Wales is great for finding new places to go.
Chicken group has many people who know a lot and has saved me much money in vet bills.
I buy new plants from individuals in group much cheaper than retail.
No way I'd have found my MTB group without Facebook. They have no other online presence.
I enjoy seeing peoples pics on various nature groups.


Overall I find it a useful resource once you get it filtered to groups as much as possible
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I'm only joshing. But Facebook is one of those place you have to hold your nose to go use the bits that are worth using, and then retreat back to safety. Even the useful groups you need to block a few resident oddballs.

'Ground conditions in UK Mountain Areas' is one of the groups that is currently irreplaceable....there's no substitute for people posting pictures and reports of conditions on the hills.
 
mid_gen said:
I'm only joshing. But Facebook is one of those place you have to hold your nose to go use the bits that are worth using, and then retreat back to safety. Even the useful groups you need to block a few resident oddballs.

'Ground conditions in UK Mountain Areas' is one of the groups that is currently irreplaceable....there's no substitute for people posting pictures and reports of conditions on the hills.
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Yeah for sure! The admins in those groups are hot on it. Apparently 50pc of admissions were rejected as spam in one group. The admins put out a post at weekend about it actually.

But yeah. Facebook without manual filtering of junk is like browsing a news outlet without an adblock

I'm soon to leave the international lego group I'm in as half of the posts are "look at all these boxes (aka money) I have". Worse, people respond saying "how can you afford all that". And the constant lego6vs legos thing
 
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