Help cheer up my mate!

Lowe

Lowe

Lowe

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
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Location
Newcastle Under Lyme
In a nutshell:

My mate is a Captain in the British Army, serving in Afganistan. Unfortunately he was involved in a rocket attack (as far as I know) and has taken a bit of a kicking. :(

He's been transfered to a military ward back in the UK, but due to his injuries it looks like he'll be stuck in hospital for quite some time, so I'm trying to cheer him up a bit. :)

I'm going to print off this thread and take it in for him, so he's got something to read whilst he's recovering. So, I want lots of "Get Well Soon Mike", lots of jokes, preferably dirty and general well wishing for one of our lads who was doing the best he could in what is, a bad situation for all our lads.

Over to you guys. :)
 
Dirty jokes eh.. don't know how many we can get away with.

Most things I could tell would get me banned. I've already been suspended twice for sneezing. Still, here's one.



boo hiss *edited*


No? OK.
 
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What regiment or corps is he?
Do you know what barracks he's at? No doubt he'll get a harsh time from his lads for it!
All the best to him, hope he gets better soon enough.
 
The contagious joke from a week ago had me tickled..

Teach is teaching the liitle children about the word "Contagious"

Teacher: Class, can anyone give me a sentence with the correct use of the word "Contagious?"

Molly-Sue: When I was ill, my Mother told me I had to stay in bed because I had the chicken-pox, which is Contagious.

Teacher: Very good Molly-Sue; anyone else?

Little Johnny: Me and my dad were in the Garden watching our neighbour paint his fence, and my Dad said "If he keeps using that 1inch brush it'll take that contagious."
Click to expand...
 
Why is he going to care what a bunch of OcUK weirdos say? :p

Much respect to your mate anyway. I seriously hope he has a speedy recovery. I hope that ward is treating him well. Our injured service personal seriously aren't cared for enough. Considering they've put their balls on the line for this country, they should be given everything possible to result in a recovery that is fast and ease-free as possible.
 
No one I know I take it?

If he wants some shocking photos of you when you were at uni tell him to get in touch ;) :p
 
sniffy said:
Much respect to your mate anyway. I seriously hope he has a speedy recovery. I hope that ward is treating him well. Our injured service personal seriously aren't cared for enough. Considering they've put their balls on the line for this country, they should be given everything possible to result in a recovery that is fast and ease-free as possible.
Click to expand...

Quoted for truth.

Get well soon!
 
OK, perhaps asking for naughty jokes isn't probably appropriate here ;)

General jokes might be a tad better :)
 
leaskovski said:
Being a sicko myself i still found it funny as..... :D
Click to expand...

Those are the only kind of jokes I know :(



What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.



I think I told that one over on the Windows board. No idea what it had to do with anything there.
 
Osama bin Ladin unwittingly repeated history when he used a phrase
uttered by Gen. Custer, "Where did all these ******* Tomahawks come
from?"
--------------------------------------
Warning - Authorities have recently been informed of four possibile
terrorists in your workplace. Three individuals were apprehended: bin
Sleepin, bin Drinkin and bin Loafin. The fourth suspect was not on the
premises and authorities have reason to doubt he ever had ties to the
business: bin Workin.
-------------------------------------
The Canadians are helping the United States with the war on terrorism. They
pledged two of their biggest battle ships, 600 ground troops, and six fighter
jets.


After the exchange rate, we ended up with one canoe, two Mounties, and a
flying squirrel.
-----------------------------------
Britain's only Islamic standup comedienne found performing in English
pubs a bit of a challenge even before September 11th, so how does she
break the ice now?


"My name is Shazia Mirza. Or at least that's what it says on my
pilot's license"

Get well soon :)
 
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