Help me write a shocking text to a woman

[Reality|Bites]

Ok I have an older friend in work (woman) who I often flirt with. Every Friday she goes to the pub with her girl pals, So last week I sent her a text at 22:30 asking her if she was leggless yet, at 00:01 I got a reply saying Yes she was steaming. Unknown to her, a friend had taken her phone to find a number and it was this friend that sent the reply.

So this week she and I thought it would be really funny to send a shocking text and set her friend up a little lol.

So what can I send?

 

[alex24]

Erm, 'the baby's mine isnt it?'

 

[Fireskull]

Thanks for the blowy

 

[Buffman]

Send her a picture of a pasty being smashed. Then tell her that'll be you and her later .

 

[meghatronic]

Erm, 'the baby's mine isnt it?'

 

[alex24]

'You and your mum were amazing last night'

 

[antijoke]

Forget about your boyfriend and meet me at the hotel.

 

[4T5]

I can't even feel that strap on any more, Use the Big one tonight !!!

 

[Delboy]

"I've been out and brought the whips and chains, when you coming round again?"

 

[PiKe]

"Think you can take all 3ft tonight?"

 

[randal]

They found me, I don't know how, but they found me! RUN MARTY!

 

[sist_si]

They found me, I don't know how, but they found me! RUN MARTY!

Who do you mean?

 

[Skully]

'I have AIDS'.

 

[antijoke]

They found me, I don't know how, but they found me! RUN MARTY!

Serious lol from me.

 

[stockhausen]

They found me, I don't know how, but they found me! RUN MARTY!

Class; absolute 100% solid gold class

 

[^TANK^]

That's going to need stitches.

 

[Knubje]

Serious lol from me.

hahahah me too!

 

[Swifty55]

'I have AIDS'.

Ha ha!

 

[antijoke]

They found me, I don't know how, but they found me! RUN MARTY!

hahahah me too!

Equally you could go with:

"1.21 GIGAWATTS! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?"

 

[Sin_Chase]

"I love you but I'm just not sure I am ready to let you bite off a finger yet. I mean, It sounds kinky and all but, maybe next week?"