Associate
- Joined
- 28 Jan 2005
- Posts
- 1,866
- Location
- Lymington
Hi guys,
In a bit a situation with a house mate and I wondered if anyone could offer some advice.
I'll quickly fill you in on the back story so you can kinda know what caused all this.
My house mate Hattie has been with her boyfriend (Matt) on and off for a while and recently he needed somewhere to stay for a while as he was effectively homeless. so it was agreed he would stay at ours for a month and pay £200. My girlfriend stays over 3 or 4 nights a week and as she's a guest she doesn't pay per say but will clean up after the others and buys food. I overpay by £25 a month to cover any usage caused by her being there.
Now Matt has been at our house now for 9 weeks. Hattie decided it was unfair my girlfriend is allowed to stay over 3 or 4 nights and he had to pay. She then gave Matt £200 out of her pocket and pay £133 less rent into our house account. Effectively making me and Dave (third tenant) stump up £66.50 each to make the total of £200. He then will have effectively stayed rent free while working full time at the age of 36 for 9 weeks. The key difference as I see it is that my girlfriend is staying over and her boyfriend is living here. I also stay over her place on occasion but because it's the wrong way from work I only spend 2 nights a week there.
Now I put my foot down and said he's not staying under my roof for 9 weeks and not contributing. Dave wanting an easy life proposes to drop Matt's contribution from £200 for 4 weeks to £100 for 9 weeks. I'm not happy at this but agree to it for the sake of peace.
Fast forward to Friday morning and I get a long email from Matt basically saying how he feels the £100 is still too much and compares the amount of time he has spent living at the house with the amount of time my girlfriend has been staying over. It's a formula based on showers taken, meals eaten, wash loads done and amount of time spent at the house etc, it's really being pedantic and I took offence to it. As far as I see it he needed somewhere to live and we gave him that for £100 for 9 weeks. In his formula that £100 was divided up between my girlfriend and him and he paid £60 of that.
Anyway, emails are exchanged, tempers are raised, insults are thrown and a solution is that he pays £75 and my girlfriend pays £25. It's a total **** take but I agree for the sake of maintaining the relationship with my fellow tenants.
Friday night I'm out with my girlfriend and her Sister and crash at their parents to avoid any fallout from the emails. Saturday we return about 5pm and Hattie and Matt are out. We turn the lights off and sit down to watch a film. About 40 minutes into it Hattie and Matt return, turn all the lights on, make loads of noise in the kitchen and have conversations at full volume. They come into the lounge and sit at the table eating and still talking at full volume like we are not present. I don't rise to it and just ignore them. They eat their meal and go upstairs.
Sunday morning. It's my Birthday and it's a Sunday so I am in no rush to get up. At about 9.50am there is the sudden turning on of really really loud electronic house music with a really deep base. It's at the sort of volume you'd have it at for a house party. I ignore it for about 10 minutes then go and ask her to politely turn it down. She smiles at me and flat out refuses. I go back to my room and decide to get up and make a protein shake. I'm downstairs by the fridge and Hattie storms in. The dialogue goes something like this:
Me: What's up with the music?
Hattie: What do you mean? It's good music.
Me: But not at that volume at that time it's not, there are other people in the house.
Hattie: Move out of the way of the fridge I'm making breakfast
Me: It's my fridge (I own pretty much everything in the house bar the stuff in Dave and Hattie's rooms) and I won't have you being like this. What is your problem? We need to sort this out.
She then tries to push me out of the way, several times, using all her fat body weight and strength. It hardly moves me and she then starts calling me every name under the sun. The pushing carries on but I'm nearly 16 1/2 st so I'm not budging at all. He next trick is to try and kick me in the balls. Having done Muay Thai for many years I see the kick coming and catch her leg, forcing her to hop on one leg. At this point I could have swept her leg, pushed her over, elbowed her thigh, punched her etc but I just let go and she stumbled back a bit but did not fall over. She then tries to throw a few hammer fists on my chest but I either parry them or close the distance so she is unable to get any swing on them. At no point did I throw any shots, I just stood my ground and blocked her shots when needed. She threw 100% of the shots and I just soaked them up or blocked them.
She then calls me a meathead, tells me I am throwing my weight around and bullying her.
Dave arrived asking what all the fuss is about and she then proceeds to call me every name under the sun and storms upstairs. My girlfriend is in tears so I go upstairs and comfort her. Hattie throws open my bedroom door and shouts "If you ever push or attack me again I'll press charges" then slams the door.
A few minutes pass. During this time I go downstairs and ask Matt to calm her down. All Matt says is "Your emails upset her Dude". He didn't seem bothered at all by it. I'm downstairs now talking to Dave and Matt goes upstairs and I can hear Hattie crying her eyes out telling Matt how I pushed her and threatened her. A few minutes later Hattie and Matt come storming downstairs and go into the kitchen and shut the door. They emerge about 5 minutes later and go out for the day. I enter the kitchen and find my washing pulled out of the washing machine and strewn across the floor to make room for her washing - 2 leggings and 2 knickers. Obviously another attempt to annoy me.
This is the last I saw of her as I stayed out late last night and get up before her.
One thing that did alarm me was during all the commotion not at any point did Hatties overly protective boyfriend come downstairs and attempt to intervene. He just stayed upstairs. When Hattie was crying her eyes out saying I pushed her around he did nothing, I told him I didn't push her he kinda didn't seem bothered, almost like he knew I wouldn't. If my girlfriend said someone pushed her, I'd not be cool about it. My parents think they were trying to get me to lash out so they could get me prosecuted for assault or something and I can see where they are coming from. Everyone I've told has reiterated the fact that I must not strike back.
Anyway, I'm now left in a situation where I don't want to live with her. The contract is in all three of our name and has ten months left. Would it be possible to evict her based on her behaviour or is the only solution or me to try and find someone to replace me and go elsewhere? If I ask her to go, she will refuse and I guess she has every right to. The situation right now is totally stupid.
My parents believe it's gotten past negotiations and decisive action needs to be taken in the form of one of us moving out.
Anyone got any advice to offer in this situation? I don't want to move out as myself and Dave selected this house, did all the homework, house is full of my stuff and she came on-board as a 3rd tenant but at the same time I refuse to live with someone like that and she's uber stubborn so I know it will have to be me over her that moves out. Is it worth going to the estate agents and informing them there is a major problem?
Signing a years contract may turn out to be a big mistake!!
In a bit a situation with a house mate and I wondered if anyone could offer some advice.
I'll quickly fill you in on the back story so you can kinda know what caused all this.
My house mate Hattie has been with her boyfriend (Matt) on and off for a while and recently he needed somewhere to stay for a while as he was effectively homeless. so it was agreed he would stay at ours for a month and pay £200. My girlfriend stays over 3 or 4 nights a week and as she's a guest she doesn't pay per say but will clean up after the others and buys food. I overpay by £25 a month to cover any usage caused by her being there.
Now Matt has been at our house now for 9 weeks. Hattie decided it was unfair my girlfriend is allowed to stay over 3 or 4 nights and he had to pay. She then gave Matt £200 out of her pocket and pay £133 less rent into our house account. Effectively making me and Dave (third tenant) stump up £66.50 each to make the total of £200. He then will have effectively stayed rent free while working full time at the age of 36 for 9 weeks. The key difference as I see it is that my girlfriend is staying over and her boyfriend is living here. I also stay over her place on occasion but because it's the wrong way from work I only spend 2 nights a week there.
Now I put my foot down and said he's not staying under my roof for 9 weeks and not contributing. Dave wanting an easy life proposes to drop Matt's contribution from £200 for 4 weeks to £100 for 9 weeks. I'm not happy at this but agree to it for the sake of peace.
Fast forward to Friday morning and I get a long email from Matt basically saying how he feels the £100 is still too much and compares the amount of time he has spent living at the house with the amount of time my girlfriend has been staying over. It's a formula based on showers taken, meals eaten, wash loads done and amount of time spent at the house etc, it's really being pedantic and I took offence to it. As far as I see it he needed somewhere to live and we gave him that for £100 for 9 weeks. In his formula that £100 was divided up between my girlfriend and him and he paid £60 of that.
Anyway, emails are exchanged, tempers are raised, insults are thrown and a solution is that he pays £75 and my girlfriend pays £25. It's a total **** take but I agree for the sake of maintaining the relationship with my fellow tenants.
Friday night I'm out with my girlfriend and her Sister and crash at their parents to avoid any fallout from the emails. Saturday we return about 5pm and Hattie and Matt are out. We turn the lights off and sit down to watch a film. About 40 minutes into it Hattie and Matt return, turn all the lights on, make loads of noise in the kitchen and have conversations at full volume. They come into the lounge and sit at the table eating and still talking at full volume like we are not present. I don't rise to it and just ignore them. They eat their meal and go upstairs.
Sunday morning. It's my Birthday and it's a Sunday so I am in no rush to get up. At about 9.50am there is the sudden turning on of really really loud electronic house music with a really deep base. It's at the sort of volume you'd have it at for a house party. I ignore it for about 10 minutes then go and ask her to politely turn it down. She smiles at me and flat out refuses. I go back to my room and decide to get up and make a protein shake. I'm downstairs by the fridge and Hattie storms in. The dialogue goes something like this:
Me: What's up with the music?
Hattie: What do you mean? It's good music.
Me: But not at that volume at that time it's not, there are other people in the house.
Hattie: Move out of the way of the fridge I'm making breakfast
Me: It's my fridge (I own pretty much everything in the house bar the stuff in Dave and Hattie's rooms) and I won't have you being like this. What is your problem? We need to sort this out.
She then tries to push me out of the way, several times, using all her fat body weight and strength. It hardly moves me and she then starts calling me every name under the sun. The pushing carries on but I'm nearly 16 1/2 st so I'm not budging at all. He next trick is to try and kick me in the balls. Having done Muay Thai for many years I see the kick coming and catch her leg, forcing her to hop on one leg. At this point I could have swept her leg, pushed her over, elbowed her thigh, punched her etc but I just let go and she stumbled back a bit but did not fall over. She then tries to throw a few hammer fists on my chest but I either parry them or close the distance so she is unable to get any swing on them. At no point did I throw any shots, I just stood my ground and blocked her shots when needed. She threw 100% of the shots and I just soaked them up or blocked them.
She then calls me a meathead, tells me I am throwing my weight around and bullying her.
Dave arrived asking what all the fuss is about and she then proceeds to call me every name under the sun and storms upstairs. My girlfriend is in tears so I go upstairs and comfort her. Hattie throws open my bedroom door and shouts "If you ever push or attack me again I'll press charges" then slams the door.
A few minutes pass. During this time I go downstairs and ask Matt to calm her down. All Matt says is "Your emails upset her Dude". He didn't seem bothered at all by it. I'm downstairs now talking to Dave and Matt goes upstairs and I can hear Hattie crying her eyes out telling Matt how I pushed her and threatened her. A few minutes later Hattie and Matt come storming downstairs and go into the kitchen and shut the door. They emerge about 5 minutes later and go out for the day. I enter the kitchen and find my washing pulled out of the washing machine and strewn across the floor to make room for her washing - 2 leggings and 2 knickers. Obviously another attempt to annoy me.
This is the last I saw of her as I stayed out late last night and get up before her.
One thing that did alarm me was during all the commotion not at any point did Hatties overly protective boyfriend come downstairs and attempt to intervene. He just stayed upstairs. When Hattie was crying her eyes out saying I pushed her around he did nothing, I told him I didn't push her he kinda didn't seem bothered, almost like he knew I wouldn't. If my girlfriend said someone pushed her, I'd not be cool about it. My parents think they were trying to get me to lash out so they could get me prosecuted for assault or something and I can see where they are coming from. Everyone I've told has reiterated the fact that I must not strike back.
Anyway, I'm now left in a situation where I don't want to live with her. The contract is in all three of our name and has ten months left. Would it be possible to evict her based on her behaviour or is the only solution or me to try and find someone to replace me and go elsewhere? If I ask her to go, she will refuse and I guess she has every right to. The situation right now is totally stupid.
My parents believe it's gotten past negotiations and decisive action needs to be taken in the form of one of us moving out.
Anyone got any advice to offer in this situation? I don't want to move out as myself and Dave selected this house, did all the homework, house is full of my stuff and she came on-board as a 3rd tenant but at the same time I refuse to live with someone like that and she's uber stubborn so I know it will have to be me over her that moves out. Is it worth going to the estate agents and informing them there is a major problem?
Signing a years contract may turn out to be a big mistake!!
