Helping Employee

Dis86

Dis86

Dis86

Caporegime
Joined
23 Dec 2011
Posts
33,457
Location
Northern England
One of my staff is going through the absolute wringer at the minute.

He's separated from his wife who by all accounts is doing everything in her power to be an absolute git of the highest order. She's had the police at his place and work on multiple occasions over clearly spurious (but serious) claims - one of which I was able to prove was false as he'd been working overtime and we have a secure site (ANPR logging vehicle arrival and departure, CCTV with analytics able to pin-point his location at any time). Withdrawing access to his kids, then dumping them on him at times when he has other commitments (such as work!), claims of previous abuse, claims of drug use (again was able to disprove due to our testing regime) and so on. The last episode was her dropping the kids off on his doorstep on Sunday night and declaring that she's going on holiday and doesn't know when she'll be back. Throughout this he's also having to pay full maintenance for the kids.

On top of that his parents, who he now needs to help with childcare, are both seriously ill. Mother has physical ailments and his father mental degradation.

I'm already as flexible as I can be with his working hours. I'm placing no demands on him. I've made it clear he can take any opportunity he needs to get away from his work and come chill or just chat in the office.

Despite this he is still continuing to work at a high level and, to be honest, i'm proud of the guy. I have no clue how he's keeping it together though and that's my worry.

I've enquired about a paid leave of absence just to try and let him get a bit of rest but unfortunately our HR manager shot it down. Any advice on what else I could do to try and help the guy?
 
... or you could just say to him you know he's going through a tough time, and ask if he thinks there's anything work could do to help, and you'll then look into it.
 
sounds like harassment. he needs to document everything and get proper legal advise.

suggest talkingto union rep

get signed off sick with stress tbh 3months+


some times its easyer to carry on working to distract your self than to deal directly with whats going on. and let things process in background subconscious
i dont really suggest the time off it could be his lifeline tbh

reddit is full of theys types of stories :/

is he willing to take full custoy of the kids? that usually constitutes a life event with divorce/separation and change in family situation.
 
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I guess unless its your company and you cant override HR, you are quite limited in what you can offer.
HR should have been more understanding and taken an angle of "right okay, but he's still our employee and we need to look after him, does he need reduced responsibilities? Reduced workload? etc".
Of course this will only be for a limited time, as company rules dictate yada yada yada, you know the HR talk.

Outside of what you've done already, just got to be there, reduce his responsibilities and input as much as you can without getting into trouble is something I'd do, but of course this differs per role/industry. In my job, unless someone's going to take your place and turn up for you whilst doing their own job, its hard for my people to reduce their responsibilities outside of cutting workdays.

He probably needs to speak to a solicitor, suspect he is already, as his ex should not be getting away with so much. Reality side of things, if he needs a chunk of time off, he should really speak to doctor about stress and look at sick leave.
 
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Dis86 said:
I've enquired about a paid leave of absence just to try and let him get a bit of rest but unfortunately our HR manager shot it down. Any advice on what else I could do to try and help the guy?
Click to expand...

You're a good boss. Since she has involved your workplace, I think you need to take proper legal advice - do you have company lawyers - to protect the company. And perhaps as an extension of that you might let them help your employee, though check if this will be a taxable perk.
 
Drangueos said:
Maybe the only thing he has in his life at the moment that is doing ok, is his work...
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i can vouch for this from some personal experiences and depression episodes.
BUT he needs to be managed to a point to make sure its not excessive and running him self to far in to the ground. with out strict guidelines/restrictions

on that point the company DOES have a responsibility to health and wellbeing.
honestly i never found HR understood my situation well enough to manage me when i got pulled up and it just made things way more difficult and worst for everyone as i lost my only outlet.
Dont let HR near him, make sure your the interface is my advise.
 
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Does he have any friends outside of work?
does he have any work friends the company and lean on to assist him? or encourage to try and take him out once a week.
does he have any hobbies?
does he do gym?

perhaps get him to play games or something with people out of hours when he has the time to distract him.
keep him moving and engaged, as well as tired. one of the things i tried to do was exhaust my self.

just being around people can be enough support for some people.

there is an askHR sub reddit

Reddit - The heart of the internet

www.reddit.com www.reddit.com
or

Reddit - The heart of the internet

www.reddit.com www.reddit.com

worth engaging in


as well as

Reddit - The heart of the internet

www.reddit.com www.reddit.com

which you can look at ask questions or ask him to check.

while you have your own HR team and Legal team access, if you want to engage your local HR team, using online resources might be better to understand what they can and can not offer or what request to make

ideally you want to keep your company out of the personal business as much as possible.
 
He does have a legal right to a week's unpaid leave, based on what you're saying about his parents.

www.gov.uk

Unpaid carer’s leave

Employer and employee guide to unpaid carer’s leave - who can take it, how long for, when can employers postpone or delay.
www.gov.uk www.gov.uk

And for the children, he can have far more https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave (though usually that has to be in week-long blocks).

I know that's not perfect, but at least he should know he has those options. I know some workplaces won't actually dock pay if people take carer's leave etc. By the sounds of it your HR aren't particularly amenable.
 
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