Hi, my name's Jeff.

Nix · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:04

Hi, my name's Jeffery and I'm an alien.

I'm new to this planet and wish to learn all I can about it.

I'm curious as to understand its politics, its history, its endeavours, its achievements and what makes it tick. I want the good and the bad; anything and everything you think I should know. Tell me things that an outsider could never know from simple observation.

In your own words, I want you to teach me about the planet Earth.

Fenris · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:05

GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!

mac1st3 · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:11

We're going to disect you to learn about you, as opposed to asking you, so we're clearly the superior beings

Dogoid · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:12

you owe me money

Gaygle · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:13

Watch out for the French.

LOAM · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:15

Don't mention competitors, even intergalactic ones.

[FnG]magnolia · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:20

I for one welcome our new Jeffery overlord!

aslco · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:20

Money runs the corporations, corporations run the people.

Oh yeah also we like to kill each other quite often with guns, most of the time for unfair / no reasons

FoxEye · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:21

Hope your mothership is running anti-virus software, and you took your flu jabs.

Greenlizard0 · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:24

Remember to not bother making a mass announcement to the people upon arrival, find the nearest drunk redneck hick from Texas and, well, probe him.

FoxEye · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:25

Or paint some geese on your ship and fly around Icelandic volcanoes

soundb0y · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:30

Go back to your own planet!

Don't even think about claiming OUR benefits!

jp_bl_68 · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:31

The three most important things on earth:

&

That's all you need to know

^TANK^ · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:33

Don't eat yellow snow.

[FnG]magnolia · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:33

Jeffery, Majick. Majick, this is Jeffery.

Rameses · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:41

I was going to ask what the 3rd thing was, then the penny dropped and I was sad.

G-MAN2004 · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:51

Hi, my name's Jeff. Any last words?

jp_bl_68 · 3 Jun 2010 at 00:51

AmTechFox said:
I was going to ask what the 3rd thing was, then the penny dropped and I was sad.

Sad? You don't like 2 breasted women? Do you have a mastectomy fetish?

GreatAuk · 3 Jun 2010 at 01:02

If something is difficult, you will have a hard time persuading us humans to do it, even if the eventual rewards will be great. Also steer clear of the country full of fat gun toting SUV drivers - there is strong anecdotal evidence to suggest they'll either shoot you, blow you up, dissect you, or sue you.

Alex74 · 3 Jun 2010 at 01:10

hi jeff!

GreatAuk said:
..Also steer clear of the country full of fat gun toting SUV drivers - there is strong anecdotal evidence to suggest they'll shoot you, blow you up, dissect you and sue you.

Fixed