How did you get there?

[Nix]

So, I've just spent another morning exploring my options for employment and as a consequence found myself once again being shot down as I painfully stumble across more avenues where the doors are closed then there are windows open. Of course, it really doesn't help that there's the recession, but it's simply the reality now; it's not going away anytime soon. This rejection has been the story for quite some time and now I'm well and truly in a rut: I'm becoming apathetic and my life lacks any purpose. I'm now at the point where I just can't be bothered to apply anywhere anymore as I already know it's not going to help; it's simply a wasted effort on my part. It's unhealthy thinking, but it's what I've been left with: ladies and gentlemen, it seems I've fallen through the preverbial cracks.

I know this probably sounds a little melodramatic, but it does feel like the whole world is trying to crap on me at the moment as nothing ever seems to work out. At 23, I should have the world at my feet and everything within reach, but I might aswell be an animal in the zoo. I'm on the bottom rungs of a society which is entirely geared towards keeping me there. I've tried so hard to grow into what I thought was a decent person, but objectively speaking it really does feel as if it's been for nothing. I'm not a cog in the machine, I'm a spare part that no-one has any use for.

Anyway, I thought I'd try and flip this on its head and turn it into what I thought might be an interesting thread. I don't want people trying to 'mother' me or entertain their pedagogical impulses so as to explain to me those painfully obvious lessons which I'm already well aware; I'm not an idiot and I'm not a child, I'm just a little short on luck presently.

So, with that in mind, my question is simple: what is it you do career-wise and how did you get there? Did you imagine yourself where you are today or has it been a wild ride finding your feet? Has the journey been an easy one or did you have to explore some 'untraditional' routes? For those of you who've been in similar situations as myself: how did you escape (if at all)?

There is naturally an element of practicality here, but I am genuinely curious too. Cheers.

 

[Nix]

Sounds like you are aiming too high. Start at the bottom then, once you are working, apply for better jobs. If you get one then great, if you don't then you still have a job.

Honestly, I'm not aiming too high. I'm looking for anything and everything. Situation is this: graduate jobs want high flyers and local jobs want people with years of experience under their belts. I lack both and I'm just trying to find somewhere to fit in. I have absolutely no financial backing or savings to draw upon to help out or further myself. I am well and truly stuck in this circumstance until I can find employment to change that. I've applied for countless jobs which technically I should've at least been invited to interview for but I might aswell have not bothered. It's ridiculous.

Nix what did you graduate in and where from (it'd help me answer)

Plymouth, Geography, Second-Class with honours. I have bad A-levels due to depression a few years back but I don't admit to it on application forms because I can't stand the stigma attached to it.

What is it you do/want to do?

This is one of those things I've never really known, but I've had some idea since I've graduated and after some gentle pushing from teachers, friends and lecturers. In an ideal world I'd like to be a writer of some sort. I have every intention of sitting down and doing this in my spare time a little further down the road, but this road requires a lot of patience and luck and I simply cannot put all my eggs in one basket.

 

[Nix]

Hope this isn't "mothering", but there are plenty who are "there" career-wise and are just as unhappy overall. It's shouldn't be your foremost measure of success..

I am indeed aware of that and it's something I'm desperate to avoid, hence the current difficulty.

I very much fall into the 'I wish to work to live' rather than 'live to work' demographic. However, I will be spending a large amount of my life at work, so I might aswell try and make it something enjoyable.

 

[Nix]

Thanks dangerstat. I'm currently doing a work placement somewhere although I was told before I started not to expect any job from it, although the ladies I've worked with can't quite fathom why I haven't even had an interview as they think I'm lovely. In terms of my degree, I'm more geared towards the social sciences (history, politics, economics, psychology, sociology, etc.) than the hard sciences. However, I have studied modules for the latter too. My degree by its very nature is fragmented; one minute I was talking about AIDS in Botswana, the next about colonial history and developmental theory, then the next discussing climate models and their projected findings, etc. I took the degree for the very reason that I just wanted to learn and didn't know where I was to end up. Since I've graduated I've sped through several books (philosophy, history, etc.)

It's much easier to find the 'right' job, when you have an income. Take any money you can right now, something better will come along.

That's the problem, there isn't anything. Not too long ago, a member who lives locally on these boards (who I happen to know from many years ago) said he'd try and get me an interview where he worked. I had something to cling to at least, then the following week in the local paper his employer laid off over 200 jobs. The market here is terrible and what's more I can't apply for a good 50% due to not having a driving license.

 

[Nix]

The thing is, silly little things are really, really getting to me at the moment. I've moved back home (something I don't like to begin with) and I'm stuck in a small room which can be best described as a cupboard in a town I absolutely loathe - it's incredibly depressing. Couple that with the fact my social life has taken a complete nose-dive, I have practically zero disposible income and absolutely no sense of control: I hate everything about where I am at the moment. There's this absolute unbearable desire for change which I'm having to ignore and push to the back of my mind and it's horrible. My daily life has become the most mundane of battles from which there's no respite. I try and look for work now, and it mentally exhausts me as if I'm on some sick game-show where the things I didn't win are paraded out in front of me.

 

[Nix]

I understand where you're coming from m4cc45, but I simply do not wish to work in fast-food. Nothing short of having to support a child or physically facing starvation will make me change my mind on it. It's not that I think I'm too good for it - work's work - it's just that there are better jobs out there and I've already waited this long...

Just heard from a friend that his company (betting company) are recruiting. Although admitedly it's not particularly my cup of tea, it will certainly help my cause if I'm employed again. Can't hurt to try.

Just for the record chaps, not suggested that the accusation has been laid, but I'm not a lazy git; I actually enjoy a good day's work and I've worked part-time almost continually since I was 16. Sitting around not doing anything really is a nightmare situation!

 

[Nix]

It doesn't cost a massive amount to take a driving test, but the lessons can add up. I recommend getting a license, especially as you have the time to practice, in fact it may be good way to get out the house.

I know how to drive mate. I was shafted by the test centre here prior to university. Anyone local knows how ridiculous it is here to pass. My second theory literally just ran out so I've got to do it for a third time...

My old man used to be a driving instructor too, so trust me: I've had plenty of hours behind the wheel. My dad thought I could drive, my old instructor thought I could, I thought I could; the test centre just wanted my money.

Christ, I'm sick to death of being a 'have not', you have no idea! It's ridiculous. I see 17 year olds driving fancy cars which mummy and daddy have bought now and I just want to smash their bloody windows. Some people get such an easy ride and it does my head in.

 

[Nix]

Way ahead of you on this one! It'll be one of the first things I'll be sorting out when I've got a little income again.

The test centre I did them at has closed down and moved now anyway. Depends if they've still got the notorious names at the new one though! Definitely not willing to throw any more money at them.

 

[Nix]

So just take the theory again, then the test. The test centre don't want to fail you, that's a cop out. You had a bad test, or bad luck, or one grumpy examiner, just take it again. It'll help your prospects no end. You're so restricted with work if you can't drive, unless you work in London or some nearby town centres.

Your last test was what, four years ago? Get over it, take it again! Don't be so defeatist, and don't tell me you're not because we both know you are

Bah, people are being too quick to jumo down my throat here.

I'm not being defeatist, it's just a sore point for me as I 'should' really - considering I can drive and the money I poured into it - have the little red card and thus be able to apply for more work. But I don't, and it's just another sodding thing which is holding me back.

I'm taking the test as soon as I have cash again, don't worry about that - I'll jump through as many hoops as I need to to get it sorted. It's just a inconvenience (and an expensive one at that) that I have to do the theory for a third time.

Perhaps your overly negative attitude is preventing you from getting a job and contributing to your problems. Seems like all you have done in this thread is moan about the lack of prospects, your location, lack of friends, lack of money and the lack of a driving license.

This is exactly why I don't bother airing my dirty laundry because people are too quick to make assumptions. I don't have a negative attitude - I have a learned cynicism developed over years of having my naivity and optimism dashed. I am optimistic insofar as I am not prepared to sit around and allow myself to fall off the side of the world and am very much looking to the stars to change that.

I'm not moaning, I'm merely explaining present circumstance because whether you like it or not: it is the reason I'm currently stuck bashing my head against the wall. I'm not moaning because I'm not looking for pity. I want practical solutions so as to get my life back on track hence why this thread even exists. Understand now?

 

[Nix]

Or just move to London where a car is totally unnecessary and there are tons of jobs

I'd move if it wasn't for two things:

1. London is a poo-hole and one of last places I want to live. I'd be happier somewhere like Zurich or Toronto. If I had to live somewhere where people will let you die in the corner, I'd rather try New York - at least there's a bit of difference there.

2. The credit-card option isn't open at present as I'm still paying off debts from credit-cards.

- This will be resolved very, very shortly after working. Just a little hard to pay it off when you're on JSA.

 

[Nix]

Your first paragraph:

Just a reminder of the position you are criticising from.

If you aren't prepared to live in a 'poo-hole' (which incidentally is one of the greatest cities in the world) and somewhere where you can work and start doing something with your life, then there isn't much hope tbh.

I'll work in London if I found work there Rich. I'm just not happy to take a gamble (which could easily backfire) to move to a city I'm not particularly fond of. That's basically the logic I'm seeing.

No offence but it just seems you have a convenient answer for everything, get off your ass and do something and stop feeling sorry for-self, make drastic changes if you have to.

Bad day.



I'm just a little defensive is all. It's hard not to be when you open yourself up like this. Notice if you will that I'm listening to each comment and taking on board advice I genuinely feel is beneficial. If I feel someone is going for my jugular, I'm going to bite back.

That aside, step by step if you would be as kind: what is it you suggest I do?

 

[Nix]

No, your either depressed, lazy, or overly fussy, which one is it ? like others have said there is know denying your an intelligent chap but I guess because of your age your lacking a good dose of wisdom.

Recovering from the former. As someone mentioned earlier: it has a habit of recurring and it hit me pretty bad not so long ago. I'm not mopey at the moment, but I'm not going to deny the fact that things don't quite smell as sweet as they should

Take the best job you can get your hands on for now because atm your living one step above a homeless person, get some money in, enjoy yourself for a bit but also continue aggressively looking for that ideal job.

As I said earlier (I don't know if you saw), a friend mentioned to me in passing earlier today that his company are recruiting. A year ago I wouldn't have wanted to know (my eyes were set a little higher - blind optimism if you will), but I am more than willing to work there. I want to take whatever job is around. For months however, the problem has been that although the jobs may have been there - I was getting nowhere with them.

You seem like an intelligent bloke, don't waste it by thinking jobs are beneath you. Progression and ambition shows a lot about someone. Doing nothing doesn't demonstrate progression at all. If I were to interview you I would pick up on that and find out more.

The only work I've ruled out has been fast-food. It's not that I think it's beneath me - I'm just being 'funny' about it. As said, nothing short of having a child to feed would make me work there. I'm just not interested. The majority of work I have been looking for has been typically entry level or basic first line customer service type roles. Within a day of these roles appearing, there is usually 70+ applicants but I still apply. I want work, I just don't want to flip burgers. I'm happy to shelf-stack at night but even those jobs are taken at present. I am not afraid to get my hands dirty, so please don't mistake me for the kind of person who is.

Thank you for taking the time to respond all the same. As said, I'm a little defensive but I am listening.

 

[Nix]

Backfire? You mean if it all goes wrong you end up living with your parents in a town you hate with no job, wait a sec...

Zurich, Toronto, New York - think about them when you've pulled yourself out of the little hole you've ended up in, dreaming about and waiting for the the perfect job and the perfect opportunity to land in your lap won't get you anywhere - opportunities present themselves to those who make themselves available and put themselves in those positions in the first place.

I only mean the other cities as it's something a little different. I'm pretty disdainful of our 'great' city if truth be told.

The reason I think this town is so awful is because the crap is filtered down from London.

Go read 'Yes Man' or something

Would you believe me if I told you it was on the 'list'?

I think Mr Wallace is a very interesting bloke.

Cheers man.

 

[Nix]

Just read your above edit, that's good mate, I hope you get it.

In my friend's words "They're crying out for staff mate. Just put me down as a reference and you'll probably be starting in a couple of weeks."

Fingers crossed. It will certainly help to get things ticking over again at least. In the worst case, I knuckle down and save for that masters.

All I'm saying is, the opportunity (this is certainly just that) just hasn't been there for me for ages despite me really looking. I started off a little fussy about a year ago, but that died very quickly. Since before Christmas I've been after anything! This is probably why I'm getting a little defensive and annoyed at some responses because it feels like I'm being accused of simply not looking or trying hard enough. The reason I don't wish to gamble by moving to the city for example is just that: I don't wish to dig the hole any deeper. I'm looking for the practical, sensible option. For months the phrase "Get a job, any job." was thrown my way. For months is has also been exactly what I've been trying to do with the exception of McDonalds et al.

Thanks for the wishes though. Here's to hoping I update this with a little good news soon.

 

[Nix]

I know exactly how you're feeling Nix. I was a bright young lad with lots of hope, motivation and a good future ahead of me once, but it all seems to have disappeared and suddenly I'm a lot older. I know where I went wrong. When I was younger I had a dream, a vision of where and what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I didn't stick to that. Do a little of this and that too much and before you know it you're good at *stuff* but not specialised enough to get where you wanted to be. I hope that makes sense. Try and make a plan and stick to it as best you can. Look at what the consequences of your actions might be in the future.

Jonny, 30 is far from past it mate.

On the bright side: you're ahead of me in experience so when the economy does pick up again you'll have your pick of the litter. I really hope it works out for you mate. It's just as dangerous for you to stop trying as it for myself.

 

[Nix]

I just thought it'd be nice to have a little update on poster's situations?

Since this thread was made, I did get that job in the bookies I mentioned and I've now been working there for about 4-5 months. The pay's not great and I don't really feel like I'm going anywhere but it's allowed me to stand back up on my feet again.

I've cleared at least three debts since this thread began, and now - excluding my student debt - have a total of about ~£1300 left to clear which is easily doable. At the very least, I no longer have people banging on my door or trying to extort me.

I re-did my driving theory in November and I will be looking to passing the practical as soon as possible. At work, I will shortly be 'signed off' which means I'll be duty managing, and in turn this shall mean more hours, a litter higher pay per hour and I can whack something practical down on my C.V.

I'm currently still exploring all my options, and will be looking for 'proper' jobs within the next few months I imagine. Obviously, I can't really 'save' for any post-graduate courses with the money I'm earning, but it's still something I plan to do. There's currently talks with a friend about saving a couple of grand and backpacking for a year, working across the globe. We'll have to see what unfolds in the next six months though, as the whole thing seems so unpredictable.

So, all in all, I can guess you can say things aren't as bad as they were. They're still not brillliant, and in many respects have hardly changed - maybe I've just stopped fighting against the status quo? - but I at least feel like I'm taking a couple of steps forward, rather than rotting away as before. I still wouldn't say I'm 'content' with how things are, but I'm certainly not as miserable.

Anyway, it's a brand new decade now and it will be good to me. I've decided it will be.

How are you others getting on?