How did you know what to do for a living?

[Nix]

A simple question that belies its truly loaded undertones.

How did you know what you wanted to do for a living?

How can you ever truly be sure without experiencing such a career-path in the first place?

Are we destined to simply meander along in life and hope it all works out?

I ask because I'm 25 soon and I still have no idea. I need to solve this soon, lest my potential go to waste.

It's taken me until this 'ripe' age to understand at least what I want from a job, even if I still fail to know what that job is. Many career paths of course are now closed to me - such as engineering - but re-training for some are not out of the question. I just don't know what I should be doing with myself. The only moral in all this is that 'destiny' and 'fate' are simply abstract ideas and the only true variables are those of self-determination and environmental factors (such as family environment/access to mobility).

How did you work out what you wanted to do? More importantly, how did you know it was the right choice? It is in my eyes perhaps easy to explain in some regards as if we make these choices - even without any genuine validity to our reasoning - our ego eventually adapts to accept such choices as a form of our identity: we believe we were meant to be whatever it was we trained to be.

At what point do we finally accept our disorientation, bite the bullet and hope for the best?

Help me out here chaps, I'm lost.

 

[Nix]

See Morba, I'd classify that as being completely normal. Subjective to my own person of course.

We seem to be living in a contradictory time whereby we must at once know and expect what we want from ourselves whilst specialising for obscure career paths. Both deserve a life-time of contemplation each.

 

[Nix]

That's my point though.

How am I supposed to know what to pick? There's a plethora of specialised career-paths out there. How am I to choose between two variables when I have no indication of which I 'prefer' due to no primary experience?

The only potential paths I have in my head (which are few) have as much conviction behind them as an impulse buy at the supermarket.

 

[Nix]

I'm currently deliberating between either:

1. Writing of some form as I've been continuously told I have a 'talent' for it. However, I fear this is putting too many eggs in a basket that might never get me there.

2. Going back to university, doing a masters degree and then having a stab at the graduate market once again. However, this may take some time to save up for!

3. Film production. Again, perhaps silly, but it's one of the few things that really have always appealed to me. Like one however, I fear it may be a cul-de-sac.

4. Training to be a doctor. It will take five years of hard slog, but I think it's a genuine possibility as it will give me one thing I crucially need/want in my work more than anything else: purpose. The issue of course being, that I'm not sure. Like a getting a tattoo, I'd want to be certain before throwing myself behind the idea.

I'm stuck between pipe-dreams and unknowns.

 

[Nix]

Do 2 or 4, then whilst at uni do 1 and 3 in your spare time.

That is sensible advice and the conclusion I keep landing on myself.

The problem is choosing between 2 or 4.

2 could as easily land me back here within a couple of year's time because even picking a masters doesn't push me into any specific job area. In fact, I could still find myself unable to land a graduate job altogether. 4 at least gives me everything I'm looking for from a career. My only qualms of course being the inherent negatives which come with the territory, the extra debt and the fact I'll be in my 30s when I can finally begin. Too late to back out if I've backed the wrong horse.

People I work with keep telling me I'll make an amazing teacher but I have no interest in that career at the moment.

 

[Nix]

Have you checked that you've got sufficient academic results to become a doctor? I'm not asking whether you're capable of passing as I'm sure you are but if you don't have the entry requirements then that option probably isn't open to you and sometimes knowing what you can't do is as useful for focus as what you'd like to do.

I do. I'd need to pass the GAMSAT first, but there's nothing standing in the way if I decided to throw my weight behind the idea. I am however, only toying with the idea of retraining for medicine at the moment. In some respects it fits well, in many others it does not. Going back to university for a masters certainly seems the more realistic goalpost at the moment. If anything, this only shows my utter desperation because even I'm even starting to feel like I'm clutching at straws.

I'm not doing the job or career I thought I would - I just fell into it really, considering I have a background in IT and Engineering (Telecoms) it's a bit different to what I was doing! I don't see myself necessarily doing this for the rest of my life - to be honest I'm not that career minded. As long as I do well, work hard, and take pride in my work I'm happy with that, no matter what job I do.

I never had an idea or dream about a career or a type of job. In an ideal world I'd not have to work! Honestly, I'd be just as happy selling ice creams on a beach somewhere hot, as long as it gave me the opportunity to follow my hobbies and dreams - I'm not that bothered.

This is pretty much exactly how I am - or at least thought I was - until I realised that I also need the financial security and more importantly pride in what I do. I need a purpose that appeals to my inner framework on an intrinsically deep level. I need to feel like I'm utilising myself and doing something worthwhile. Sadly, that's a little harder to come by. This is one of the reasons why I keep coming back to the idea of writing. It is however, obviously not always a sensible career. For all my 'talent' and imagination, without 'luck' I could never strike any publication deal or ever make money from my endeavors. Thus, I'm stuck looking for something more sensible in the meanwhile. Locally, all that exists are terrible retails jobs or call-centre work, with lots of other work that I am not qualified to undertake. I'm tired of retail and I hate call-centre work with a seething passion.

I'm stuck working in the retail betting industry at the moment and it's eating me alive. There are no alternatives locally (I've looked and looked), which leaves only roles where I can perhaps relocate (e.g. graduate) - as truth me told I'm going to snap or become ill if I stay here any longer - however, I'm simply outmuscled on paper by other candidates and don't ever get anywhere.

I need to get back to university to improve this situation, but that will take me at least a couple of years to save up the money.

The immediate problem I face is that I'm struggling enough to cope with my life as I find it at present, let alone slog it out for two more years with no change. Even changing jobs to a higher paid one still leaves me stuck living where I do with zero social-life.

I'm ashamed of where I find myself and am frustrated that I can't effect any change. Little steps are moving me forwards (such as finally paying off my debts), but it's taking too long and it's a cost I'm not prepared to pay. I don't wish to look back in 20 years and wonder where my 20s went. Unless I do something now, that's my fate. To endure any longer (i.e. to save up funds for university) means sacrificing more of my 'prime', which I'm not willing to do. I don't just want to exist any more - I never did - I need and want to live. I can't live like a ghost any longer, it's torture.

 

[Nix]

Nix, I know ive taken the pee out of your degree choice and subsequent problems with finding a job but in my honest opinion you dont sound like you want a job, you seem to feed off peope who enjoy theirs and then think thats for you.

I know doctors/nurses and know that they wouldnt be suited doing anything else (well the good ones) as they are just so suited to the job. You come across (on here) as somones who is well educated but wants someone to pay them for nothing.

Sorry if thats wrong but thats how I see you.

KaHn

No, I don't want to be paid for doing nothing. I spent a year unemployed doing nothing remember. It. Was. Hell.

You are obviously just a very different person and as such find it difficult to understand where I'm coming from.

Look, it's very simple: I'm not blessed with knowing what I want to do. I'm getting older. I know I've got a brain on my shoulders and I know I'm a good person. I naively hoped growing up that I'd inevitably fall into whatever it was I was 'supposed' to do with myself, but it was just that: naivity. I'm now desperately trying to work out what to do. I do feed off others because the reality is, I am really, very deeply unhappy with who and where I am at the moment. I don't even think you have ever stopped to consider this everytime you've thrown flak my way. I'm happy, truly, that things have worked out for you, but just because I haven't been blessed with your fortunes doesn't mean I'm lazy or not trying. I'm simply a very principled person, and finding a job that doesn't conflict with at least my major principles is very important. It is why, for example I opted out of joining the army.

We spend the majority of our adult lives at work. It is beyond important that we end up somewhere that either represents what we want to achieve in life, or helps facilitate happiness - and this doesn't mean just on a fiscal level - lest we look back on life and have regret.

I am desperate to do something with myself, but answering the telephone for a bank, taking bets, or even soldiering is simply not for me. It doesn't represent who I am or how I want to change the world towards my ideals, however small.

Just because you don't understand my conclusions, or motivations, don't automatically assume I'm worthless, lazy, or stupid. I find that highly offensive because I want nothing more than to achieve something tangible in life.

To sum up using a Guinness advert (of all things!): It is not what life brings to you, but what you bring to life.

I have a moral responsbility to shape the world towards my idea of a better place, no matter how inconsequential. Being lazy would be falling into an arbitary career, coasting 'comfortably' through life and never considering such imperetives.

My brain is wired differently to yours, we see things differently. There's nothing more to say. I appreciate the friendlier tone this time KaHn, but I'd appreciate it also if you stop trying to kick me when I'm down. It's unbecoming.

 

[Nix]

Perhaps one is purposely setting the physiological bar too high?

Edit: Or am I misunderstanding things - are you currently not in work because it isn't sufficient with respect to your 'moral responsibility', or are you just resenting what you're doing right now?

I'm working in an industry that inherently conflicts with me, because, hey... I need to work.

I'm flexible, within reason.

I do resent my job, but it's for a number of reasons. The moral responsibility I suppose does come into play here though, as it is one of the reasons I'm so unhappy. I want to get out and do something, not be stuck behind a counter watching the world go by.

 

[Nix]

Sometimes Nix, we have to do things that seem distasteful or contrary to our sensibilities and beliefs.

I'm not saying that you should do something that is against your moral viewpoint, but we cannot always choose to only do what we feel is of most worth to either ourselves or the world at large.

Sometimes we have to realise that a job is a job, it doesn't need define us or be anything so noble.

It is how you conduct yourself and treat those around you that is really important.

In many ways that is the way in which you change the little piece of the world you can, not through your occupation, but through your everyday interactions.

You are still very young, there is time enough to change the world, right now you need to live for yourself, not everyone else.

I appreciate that, I truly do. But I'm never going to be in a position to fulfill such ideals unless I start laying substantial cornerstones now. I'm not expecting to fall into the perfect job. I just need some direction to where or what that job is, because I can't take watching the world go by any more. Nor am I willing to whore myself within certain jobs, even if they do serve as 'short-cuts' to my goals. Coming out the other side with my integrity in tact is of extreme importance to me. Personally, I blame 80's cartoons.

I put up with my current job because it was a 'stop-gap'. I never had any intention of staying there, but I'm struggling to break free.

 

[Nix]

I know what I want to do and I don't want to work.

Unfortunately I have no option in this so I go with the flow and get on with it as long as the job I'm doing meets three criteria:

1. I don't hate what I'm doing.
2. Reasonable money, national average or slightly below is fine.
3. Stress free.

Sounds about right to me. Although a little stress here and there can be quite healthy I think.

 

[Nix]

Then it sounds like you need to do some serious decision making. Decide what it is you wish to do, specifically. Then decide how you intend to accomplish that, specifically.

You need to decide what areas of compromise you are willing to accept, and there will be some whatever you decide, and those that you really can't.

Once you have decided that, then you need to look at the practical aspects of achieving that aim and then simply taking that first step. Because once you have made that first step the rest gets progressively easier.

You sound pretty aimless at the moment and are in danger of meandering about and accomplishing nothing. It's time to make some pretty strict decisions if you are ever going to escape the rut you seem to have made for yourself. You are obviously an intelligent person with plenty of potential, use that potential and intellect, don't drown in it.

I wish you luck, I really do, just remember, its not what you do in life that is important, but how you do it.

Pretty much sums up my own conclusions to the last penny. My only realistic and sensible option I think it to save up and go back for a post-graduate degree in something that interests me. At the very least it will open doors presently closed. The problem is as I've already outlined though, that saving will take time that I don't feel that I've got to give. I needed out yesterday, not two year's from now, if you can appreciate my problem. The obvious solution to this is get another job locally that pays more and has better hours/shifts thus improving other aspects of my life. However, these jobs don't seem to exist. At the very least I'm been unfortunate and keep missing them.

Castiel, the one thing that I've kept coming back to in the last three years; the one thing I absolutely - if I were to say such a thing existed for me - have a 'calling' for is storytelling. I absolutely would love to do this; I sit and watch say Dr Who where a moment grabs you and all I wish to do is be able to create my own moments. I could, realistically, do an MA in Creative Writing or Film Production for example, but getting a tangible career from it, or even publication, etc. is putting too many eggs in a single basket.

I'm then left in hindsight, only being able to considering a more serious master's degree as my answer.

It's the time it'll take to get back to university that bothers me most. As I said: I'm deeply unhappy with my present circumstances. Change has to happen sooner because I feel like I'm losing a part of myself with every passing day, and reality that's not actually too far from the truth either.

You can appreciate now, why I was beginning to contemplate re-training and what I meant when I said certain aspects of the career appeal.

 

[Nix]

You've misunderstood Rich. I like who I am at a base level. I don't like my present circumstances and as such what it's making me become i.e. miserable and numb.

I hate the job because of the stupid hours, poor structure, rubbish pay, irritating customers, lack of purpose and autonomy, and its life-draining, apathy-inducing tedium.

It's not excuses Rich, they're genuine factors. It probably seems obvious to you that I should do the whole London move thing, but I've only just cleared that debt that's held me back for so long. Of course I'm going to be slightly risk adverse with certain things.

It's all well and good saying 'yes' to things but you have to have a degree of freedom and social mobility to do those things in the first place. I'd love to do all those things, but reality is I'm stuck working evenings and weekends with a messed-up sleep-pattern and constant headaches accommodating knuckle-shufflers and braindead ilks just to try and move my life forward in babysteps. As I mentioned earlier, I obviously need a new job. I just wish they were easier to come by.

I am trying to create my own interia. This whole thread exists as testamount to that.

I appreciate that I may be coming across as trying to martyr myself or rally against the world, but I'm not. I'm fighting more against my own expectations of myself than what the world is. I'm unhappy quite simply because I've stagnated in every respect. The only thing that's moving is time and at this rate I am going to die miserable, poor and lonely.

Anyway, just to hear you out on the London thing. Let's say I thought **** it and went for it. How would you suggest I go about doing it and what would you suggest once I've done so? Don't get me wrong Rich, I know you're right about moving. London would solve a lot of the inherent boredom issues I have here. Hell, I'm stuck trying to find new ways to walk to work just to spice it up lately. Incidently, as you may have guessed: my current job plays a large role into why I have no social-life outside of it. The people I work with are by and large fine, it's just the stupid last-minute hours and lack of structure ("You can have Saturday off next week, but we're only going to tell you on Wednesday") means that most of the friends I did have, no longer bother as they always assume I'm at work, which I am.

For the record, I thought Yes Man (movie) was a bit... meh - it just seems so banal - but then again I also raged at the end of 500 Days of Summer, so perhaps I'm just a bit mental anyway.

Graduate development loan + working, whilst studying = masters funding?

As much as I really hate the idea of further loans, etc. I think I'm going to have to give serious thought to it. It does leave me in an awfully precarious position post-graduation though if I once again fail to find employment.

Is a GDL the same as a CDL?