If you want to do it like I do it, follow these steps.
Ride to work.
Accidentally engage parking light.
Fail to notice accidentally engaged parking light and proceed into office.
Work for eight hours.
Turn on bike, wonder why it won't start and why there is no oil or neutral light showing.
Realise what you did and consider throwing helmet at a wall.
Push bike over to the slope of the car park exit ramp.
Wonder why bike isn't rolling down slope. Fail to realise its actually in first gear.
Get off and try to push.
While pushing, fiddle with gear leaver, accidentally slip bike into neutral.
Perform what appears to be an energetic interpretative dance.
Actually trying to stop bike that is now free wheeling down aforementioned slope.
Just barley save bike. Push back up the slope.
Bump start.
Ride home.
Wait until morning.
Head out to bike having blissfully forgotten the events of the previous evening.
Attempt to start bike, remember the events of previous evening, curse loudly.
Push bike into the (flat) road outside house.
Attempt to bump start by running with bike.
Ignore nearby school children who are laughing at you.
After 3 attempts, consider risk of heart attack and give up. Make mental note to do some cardio.
After resting for a while, walk bike back onto property.
Dig out untaxed and uninsured 125 that has been sat there all winter doing nothing.
After it starts on the first attempt, try not to imagine the 2 stroke idle as smug laughter.
Attempt to access battery on Ninja - needs an allen bolt removing
Realise the very pretty aftermarket bolts the previous owner fitted do not actually fit any of the onboard tools.
Go get box of various sized allen keys.
Phone wife at work and have following conversation
"Where is my box of various sized allen keys?"....."Well its not where I left it"....."Well I know I left it here, so you must have"....."Hello?".....
Make mental note to hide TV remote in the loft as punishment for allen key betrayal.
Dig out screwdriver with swappable heads that got for Christmas. Manage to get bolt off and access battery.
Dig out only set of massive jump leads. Clearly not going to fit.
Attempt to connect to bike batterys anyway.
Threaten and swear at jump leads in the standard fashion, but fail to connect them.
Plan B.
Drive to halfords.
Shell out £25 on a battery charger.
Drive home.
Cable looks just long enough.
Hook battery charger up to mains and connect to bike.
The positive lead is exactly 1mm too short to connect to battery terminal.
Fetch extension lead.
Extension lead is not where you left it.
Briefly but seriously consider divorce and make mental note to hide actual TV in the loft a punishment.
Eventually locate extension lead.
Connect charger to bike
Set fast charge mode.
Wonder if you can start the bike off the charger and press the ignition.
Spend next 15 minutes muttering dark thoughts while looking for a spare fuse.
Give up, go to put charger away and notice handy spare fuse attached to the back of charger.
Resist temptation to drop kick charger through neighbours window.
Replace fuse, hook up bike and set charging.
Leave the hell alone for 10 minutes.
Unhook charger and try the ignition.
Do a small jig as bike comes to life.
Ride to work.
check and recheck that park light is NOT on.
Sit down, type up sarcastic forum post.
Wonder if bike will start at end of the day.
Edit - Before anyone asks - there is no car parking at work, nor anywhere within walking distance, and public transport is not an option.
Ride to work.
Accidentally engage parking light.
Fail to notice accidentally engaged parking light and proceed into office.
Work for eight hours.
Turn on bike, wonder why it won't start and why there is no oil or neutral light showing.
Realise what you did and consider throwing helmet at a wall.
Push bike over to the slope of the car park exit ramp.
Wonder why bike isn't rolling down slope. Fail to realise its actually in first gear.
Get off and try to push.
While pushing, fiddle with gear leaver, accidentally slip bike into neutral.
Perform what appears to be an energetic interpretative dance.
Actually trying to stop bike that is now free wheeling down aforementioned slope.
Just barley save bike. Push back up the slope.
Bump start.
Ride home.
Wait until morning.
Head out to bike having blissfully forgotten the events of the previous evening.
Attempt to start bike, remember the events of previous evening, curse loudly.
Push bike into the (flat) road outside house.
Attempt to bump start by running with bike.
Ignore nearby school children who are laughing at you.
After 3 attempts, consider risk of heart attack and give up. Make mental note to do some cardio.
After resting for a while, walk bike back onto property.
Dig out untaxed and uninsured 125 that has been sat there all winter doing nothing.
After it starts on the first attempt, try not to imagine the 2 stroke idle as smug laughter.
Attempt to access battery on Ninja - needs an allen bolt removing
Realise the very pretty aftermarket bolts the previous owner fitted do not actually fit any of the onboard tools.
Go get box of various sized allen keys.
Phone wife at work and have following conversation
"Where is my box of various sized allen keys?"....."Well its not where I left it"....."Well I know I left it here, so you must have"....."Hello?".....
Make mental note to hide TV remote in the loft as punishment for allen key betrayal.
Dig out screwdriver with swappable heads that got for Christmas. Manage to get bolt off and access battery.
Dig out only set of massive jump leads. Clearly not going to fit.
Attempt to connect to bike batterys anyway.
Threaten and swear at jump leads in the standard fashion, but fail to connect them.
Plan B.
Drive to halfords.
Shell out £25 on a battery charger.
Drive home.
Cable looks just long enough.
Hook battery charger up to mains and connect to bike.
The positive lead is exactly 1mm too short to connect to battery terminal.
Fetch extension lead.
Extension lead is not where you left it.
Briefly but seriously consider divorce and make mental note to hide actual TV in the loft a punishment.
Eventually locate extension lead.
Connect charger to bike
Set fast charge mode.
Wonder if you can start the bike off the charger and press the ignition.
Spend next 15 minutes muttering dark thoughts while looking for a spare fuse.
Give up, go to put charger away and notice handy spare fuse attached to the back of charger.
Resist temptation to drop kick charger through neighbours window.
Replace fuse, hook up bike and set charging.
Leave the hell alone for 10 minutes.
Unhook charger and try the ignition.
Do a small jig as bike comes to life.
Ride to work.
check and recheck that park light is NOT on.
Sit down, type up sarcastic forum post.
Wonder if bike will start at end of the day.
Edit - Before anyone asks - there is no car parking at work, nor anywhere within walking distance, and public transport is not an option.
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