If this is a repost, I'll close the thread. 
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
- Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
- Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
- If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
- Get in the shower.
- Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
- Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
- Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
- Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
- Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
- Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
- Rinse conditioner off hair.
- Shave armpits and legs.
- Turn off shower.
- Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
- Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
- Get out of shower.
- Dry with towel the size of a small country.
- Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
- If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
- Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.
- Walk naked to the bathroom.
- If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
- Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy
and scratch your bum.
- Get in the shower.
- Wash your face.
- Wash your armpits.
- Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
- Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
- Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
- Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
- Wash your hair.
- Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
- Wee.
- Rinse off and get out of shower.
- Partially dry off.
- Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.
- Admire willy size in mirror again.
- Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
- If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
"woo-woo" sound again.
- Throw wet towel on bed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
- Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
- Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
- If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
- Get in the shower.
- Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
- Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
- Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
- Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
- Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
- Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
- Rinse conditioner off hair.
- Shave armpits and legs.
- Turn off shower.
- Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
- Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
- Get out of shower.
- Dry with towel the size of a small country.
- Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
- If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
- Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a
pile on the floor.
- Walk naked to the bathroom.
- If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the
"woo-woo" sound.
- Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy
and scratch your bum.
- Get in the shower.
- Wash your face.
- Wash your armpits.
- Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
- Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
- Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
- Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
- Wash your hair.
- Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
- Wee.
- Rinse off and get out of shower.
- Partially dry off.
- Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath
the whole time.
- Admire willy size in mirror again.
- Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
- If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
"woo-woo" sound again.
- Throw wet towel on bed.
Not mine, I use shower gel 
