Human v Chimp fight

[Merlin5]

I was googling Bruce Lee v MMA fighters the other day to see what the general consensus is about how well he would have fared, most people saying he wouldn't do very well.

Anyway, as Google does, it links you to other things with some connection to your original question. This was the question sent to me, it's from Quora. Also, who would have thought a croc can outrun you.

Could an MMA fighter defeat a chimpanzee in hand to hand combat?

Here is one of the main answers, it's quite fascinating and I just wondered what people here think. There are of course contrary responses from people that think it's a bit exaggerated and based on early research that apparently doesn't hold as much water today.

"No. Not a chance. Not one man. Not two. Maybe four large men but they'd get the hell bitten and scratched out of them and their only chance would be to sacrifice limb, and probably life of one or two, and use their weight and size, if possible, to immobilize the chimp. Even then I'm not sure they could.

They would be severely injured at the very least, and that's assuming four, not one or two. I've spent a fair amount of time observing chimps up close in the wild and my first wife worked with them for years at a major zoo. They will tear you apart.

You have no idea of the speed and ferocity with which they attack. Humans are no match for most wild animals. A crocodile can outrun you on land -- yes, a crocodile. A small wild pig can kill you before you know what is happening, and a full grown male chimp, even a female, will tear you apart.

It will rip your arms off, tear the skin off your face, scratch your eyes out, tear your windpipe from your neck.... It won't feel your big punches, trust me. The speed and ferocity will terrify you and render you helpless.

You will instantly go into a defensive freeze as you try to fend off this unimaginable strength and unrelenting attack. You will **** your pants as you die. Can I make it any clearer than that? Forget your martial arts. Forget your tough guy act. A chimp will expose you as the puny human fraud that you are no matter how well trained you think you might be."

 

[Merlin5]

A chimpanzee will rip your penis off and pull your actual entire hands off of your arms before you even have a chance to do anything.

https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/chimp-victim-charla-nash/4/

WARNING: Not the those with a soft stomach. For more, google Charla Nash.

I remember seeing this on Oprah. Absolutely awful, imagine losing your sight.

Apparently a chimp has a thicker skull, denser bones and harder muscles than humans that they won't be as damaged from a strike and the possibility of a knockout is drastically reduced.

Here's an interesting true story.

"I once knew a man named George, and during a break from a jam session I asked "Where are you working now?" He said "At a sanctuary with the chimps and orangutans that are too old or too vicious to be at the zoo".

"Sounds interesting" I said. He then remarked on how territorial they were, and that when they brought the feed into the sanctuary the chimps would throw their feces while puffing up their chests; they were egging on a fight. This is when I had to know, "What would happen if you punched a full grown chimp?"

The only thing he said was that on his first day new trainees all had to read a newspaper article concerning a past employee who bit off more than he could chew. Apparently he was one of these ghetto types, and thought he was tough.

One day while bringing in the feeding buckets, a chimp threw his feces at him and walked right up to this poor fellow. For reasons unknown, the worker threw a hay maker at the chimp's face.

Witnesses say the chimp did not dodge, but took the punch and before the man could retract his arm the chimp was biting his face and apparently removing his genitals with his hand-like feet. Workers subdued the chimp with tranquilizer guns, but the victim did not get to use his. The man later died due to loss of blood, as the sanctuary was very far from a hospital.

DO NOT fight a chimp unless you have a very good weapon, in which case an old world samurai would be a better match for a chimp, provided he gets a good slice in before the pain begin."

 

[Merlin5]

 

[Merlin5]

This seems to be an old chimp but look at the thickness of his forearms and the bulging biceps. Absolutely jacked.

I was reading about this subject last night and got directed to a bodybuilders forum. Someone said chimps not only have MUCH larger and more dense bone structures, their joint structures are also superior as well as the muscle fibres in general. Chimps also have better muscle leverage. The attachment points of their muscles provides for greater leverage which = greater power. The first thing a chimp would go for would be your genitals, he would rip them off almost instantly. This has been WELL documented in both ape on human, and ape on ape attacks. Secondly, your face will be chewed to bits. While you put your fingers and hands in front of your face to protect yourself, they'll be chewed off as well.

They reckon even the great bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman would get his ass whooped.

Someone also said Tyson once tried to bribe someone at a zoo to let him fight a Gorilla but he really had no idea what he was asking. Tyson was a ridiculous boxer but a weak female gorilla would have tossed him about like a rag doll. He is an idiot.

 

[Merlin5]

Ouch @1:49.